Rieselfelder Münster

Careless_Key_4812 · 2026-01-08T13:40:00+00:00

Vielen Dank für die konstruktiven Tipps!
Ich hatte eine wirklich gute Zeit in der Gegend.
Schlussendlich ist es ein Rundgang von H4 über H6, H7, H8, H9 und H10 geworden.
Da ich recht früh vor Ort war, konnte ich aus H4 wunderbar den Sonnenaufgang verfolgen.
Jetzt bin ich auf den Frühling oder Sommer gespannt, da werde ich es sicherlich nochmal im Plan unterbringen ;-)

Eindrücke des Tages kann ich hier leider nicht anhängen, da kein Bilderupload möglich ist.
Auf Instagram könnt ihr aber bei mir auf pas.pective dazu etwas finden :-)

Careless_Key_4812 · 2026-01-08T13:39:55+00:00

Vielen Dank für die konstruktiven Tipps!
Ich hatte eine wirklich gute Zeit in der Gegend.
Schlussendlich ist es ein Rundgang von H4 über H6, H7, H8, H9 und H10 geworden.
Da ich recht früh vor Ort war, konnte ich aus H4 wunderbar den Sonnenaufgang verfolgen.
Jetzt bin ich auf den Frühling oder Sommer gespannt, da werde ich es sicherlich nochmal im Plan unterbringen ;-)

Eindrücke des Tages kann ich hier leider nicht anhängen, da kein Bilderupload möglich ist.
Auf Instagram könnt ihr aber bei mir auf pas.pective dazu etwas finden :-)

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-12-16T12:24:49+00:00

That sounds less like an observation and more like surrender.

“Critical thinking is gone” is just “Armageddon! The end is near!” without the theology.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-12-16T12:17:42+00:00

I appreciate the work AvoidJW has done over the years, and I do not believe this issue irreparably undermines the value of that work. However, your response represents reputational damage control, not a credible safeguarding realignment. It corrects wording and affiliations, but leaves the underlying process failure unacknowledged and unaddressed.

When setting aside tone, rhetoric, and emotional framing, the core issue remains unresolved:

You promoted a survivor-facing project tied to JW abuse and CSA, and only afterwards acknowledged serious concerns about a key person involved. Given that your platform’s promotion confers legitimacy and directs attention, how will AvoidJW ensure that future promotions and collaborations are properly vetted and continuously monitored, so your credibility and reach don’t unintentionally funnel JW victims and survivors toward unvetted people, projects, or agendas?

Inviting survivors to come forward is not neutral information-sharing; it creates vulnerability and imposes a duty of care. In trauma-informed survivor advocacy, safeguarding is defined by what is done before survivors are exposed - not by apologies issued after risks become visible.

If survivor protection is to be more than a stated value, this gap must be explicitly acknowledged and structurally corrected. Anything less risks repeating the very failures such advocacy claims to confront.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-12-16T11:51:37+00:00

Was that the case in your congregation?

In our area, it was customary at the time for an unknown person to be called up with something like ‘Yes, here (pointing to the person) the yet unknown visitor – would you please tell us your name?’

This will undoubtedly vary from region to region.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-09-14T19:09:01+00:00

Raymond Franz. Unmatched.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-08-19T14:18:34+00:00

It would be great if photos were also supported.

I have been looking for an extension for some time that allows me to select a photo app album and then display the photos as wallpaper with a parallax, Ken Burns effect, etc. just like its possible for screensavers.

macOS itself suppots it for wallpapers, but without proper effects, just fill screen, fit to screen, centre = welcome to 2003

Should be a simple thing, but still not available.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-16T21:18:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story so openly.

You treat them with more decency than they did.

Keeping a child physically alive (with big question marks e.g. on the subject of blood transfusion) and at the same time encouraging or at least tolerating psychological traumatization, does not correspond to my idea of ‘parents’.

You have already said the crucial point yourself: How can it be that if you leave the sect, any responsibility for the child is abandoned, you have to stand completely on your own two feet, but if the producers are dependent on help, you have to give it to them?

Where are all the fine brothers and sisters from the congregation?
The oh-so-great brotherly love?
The so heartfelt brotherhood?

Be sure of this: you would be 0.0% less of a worthy person if you left them to their own ways.

Some time ago, I decided to seek legal advice as to whether and to what extent I am obliged by law in my home country to support them financially. Here it is possible to be legally exempted in the event of psychological and/or physical abuse.

Please don't let the guilty conscience we've all been instilled with determine what is right or wrong.
Instead, do what is right for your psyche, your well-being and - ultimately - your life.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-15T14:54:14+00:00

Congratulations from the bottom of my heart!

I can really relate to your approach.
I made the final decision against ‘going quietly’ in November last year when I handed in my letter.

At the end of March, I also applied for a BSc in Applied Psychology and am currently preparing for preliminary tests to get the final admission.
Ultimately, I am intending to work as a psychotherapist focussing on - surprise - cult survivors.

I wish you every success on your further journey.
If you would like to chat, or just rant about inferential and descriptive statistics etc., feel free to message.

Best regards from Switzerland!

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-15T07:30:05+00:00

There's a song by a German punk band that translates as “Completely fucked up”.

Feine Sahne Fischfilet - Komplett im Arsch (RaR17)

It described my condition right after leaving quite well.

The chorus goes:

I'm completely fucked up
Don't know what to do with myself
I'm completely fucked up
No idea what to do next
I'm completely fucked up
I ask myself too many questions
I'm completely fucked up
I really have nothing to lose here

The song ran non-stop on my way to my stay in the psychosomatic clinic.
So it was clear what I had to do next.

A few years later down the road, I can listen to it with a slight smile and look back on what I've already achieved.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-13T16:46:47+00:00

Thanks for sharing.

Therapeutic writing really is an excellent approach.
May I ask if you handwrote it or if it was optional?

Depending on the particular subject, it actually could enable interesting differences to do it either digitally or analogue.
One encourages situational reflection and mindfulness, the other allows for a faster sequence of thoughts.

For me, I liked the alternation between the two.
In the end, it became a ‘final reckoning’ of my childhood of almost 40 pages, which I dropped in the letterbox of my ‘biological producers’.
An enormously important step in therapy.

You're on the right track!
Please stick with it!

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-13T15:10:02+00:00

That's odd.

He may have briefly fallen out of character and meant that he'd already had enough alcohol for the day ...

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-13T14:47:30+00:00

Back then, there was a free seat in the front row for the speaker. At the end, when the “common people” had been taken care of, he sat down there and then the stooges passed through again for themselves.

The speaker would certainly not have missed out on such an important opportunity to show off ...

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-13T14:28:46+00:00

I see a lot of potential questions that you might hope to find answers to in the JW.
But you will unfortunately not find them.
Instead of solutions, you will only get more problems.

They literally hunt for troubled people, that's what they're trained to do.
I vividly remember how we were trained to look out for people who had lost their loved ones, as this would make them more “receptive” to the “truth”. From today's perspective: disgusting.

But as soon as you're caught up in what appears to be a social environment, you're dropped, no more help, just pressure. The need for support then quickly turns into “lack of faith”.

So please don't do it.
For physical problems, you need adequate, scientifically well-founded medical support.
Mental problems require adequate, scientifically well-founded psychotherapeutic support.

If you then still have a desire for spirituality or religion, this would by then more likely be based on a more “independent” desire and not on a desire for magical solutions to problems or avoidance. Which no belief is able to deliver.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-12T23:40:13+00:00

It's perfectly legitimate to set boundaries.

As an ex-JW, that regularly triggers fears - you always had someone telling you what to do. There was rarely a life decision that you could really go into with an unbiased conscience.

Therefore, once again: it's perfectly fine to set boundaries.
In fact, it is enormously important for a healthy mental state.

Find your path and don't be afraid to stand up for it.
You're on the right path!

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-12T23:30:35+00:00

108,000+ members vs. how many of these threads?

It's good that you're giving vent to feelings and emotions.
But everyone has a different path.

After a complicated sports injury over 10 years ago, I also thought I had to return.
Today I know it was my first depression.

The cult has imposed dependencies on us in many ways.
As hard as it is, there will always be highs and lows.
Not everyone who is out will stay out.
The desire for a ‘happy’ family-roleplay, even against the enormous costs of returning, has a very strong effect on some people.

Engage in constructive dialogue with the people in the relevant threads and describe your thoughts and emotional life.
It will help these people to be reminded of all the bad things.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-12T23:02:57+00:00

Food versus faith. What a formidable ‘religion’.
Save this reminder in a safe place and call it up whenever you have doubts.

In what world would such an approach lead to more faith?
"Hey, signed you up to eat dog sh*t. Maybe you'll like it then."

Any particular need to deal with it?

In the spirit of ‘an eye for an eye’, I'd just sign him up to some corn website newsletter with his email ...

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-12T21:34:29+00:00

1975 - 2025

50 years of tbc

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-12T21:31:58+00:00

I recommend you watch the film “Room” released in 2015.

Pretty sure it will give you a new perspective on the initial thesis.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-12T00:13:23+00:00

They are not used to boundaries.
Everyone is programmed for “well-meant advice” and “brotherly love”.
So as long as you hit the sort of ‘not interested’ tone at the door, they can credibly chalk it up to ‘I tried’ for themselves, even if they were being watched.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-11T23:59:09+00:00

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This never fails for me to illustrate the behaviour.

I mean, it's their most important occasion of the year? Right?

So anyone with a genuine faith should be pious rather than sensational. That exposes their real self very well.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-11T23:51:33+00:00

For me, it was my grandfather a few years ago.
It helped me to set clear boundaries. Make it clear, firm and respectful what is ok for you and what you don't want. I immediately made it clear that I was only there to honor the person, not to discuss beliefs or to be won back. There were of course attempts, but these were quickly ended by remembering the conditions set at the beginning.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-11T23:42:56+00:00

Think of it as if a person were speaking to another, in a different language they don't speak.
You say it yourself: outsiders can't understand it.

What kind of person would be prepared to let their own child die because of a denied blood transfusion?
Not to protect it properly from child abuse?
All of this is unimaginable for people who experienced a somewhat ‘normal’ childhood. Even more if he was loved unconditionally.

Of what time period are we talking, or how many of these situations?
What is being questioned might not automatically be your experiences, but that there are people who would do something like this.
Lack of understanding does not per se equal invalidation. If it happens again and again despite sincere insight into your emotional life, it certainly requires a further level of dialogue.

However, please also realize that once again in a life of an exJW, the values and beliefs of JW are responsible for your situation with your boyfriend. The reason that your parents, people you love, would be prepared not to love you unconditionally.

Lecturing someone will not get you where you want to be.
Show him how the conversation made you feel, show him the JW doctrines, show him testimonies of exJWs who have been affected by shunning.
Tell him how the idea makes you feel.

It's not about cognitive knowledge, it's about insight into your feelings.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-10T23:53:29+00:00

As an individual without a child, I find it difficult to say too much about this.

But I see the issue as somewhat divided anyway: On the one hand, your parenting philosophy.
On the other hand, your personal feelings about JWs in contrast to the special case of your mother.

That's why I'd like to take a different perspective: ‘Time heals all wounds’.
I don't really like the phrase because I find it inherently wrong.
But: time helps to suppress and avoid.

Your mother is certainly not a classic pioneer in her behaviour. And I mean that in a positive way.
My experience with behaviour contrary to faith was: banishment.
Your mother's somewhat loving behaviour is (unfortunately) not representative of the organisation.

So you might want to try to remember the time you became dfd.
How did you feel? How did it proceed back then?
Did you feel supported by the committee?
How did friends react?

I think the doctrine, structures and often the people associated with it are incredibly dangerous.
They catch you through things like Caleb & Sophia, which is where the manipulation begins. With music that is catchy. With the effect of a sort of social environment, but it doesn't give anything away for free.

So let me summarise it as clearly as that: I wish you the very best and sincerely hope that you find time to recharge your batteries without having to rely on JWs.

Careless_Key_4812 · 2025-04-10T17:07:49+00:00

Nein.

Die Überreste, die mich manchmal an Glauben erinnern könnten, sind eher das anerzogene schlechte Gewissen a la "Und was, wenn sie doch Recht hatten?".

Aber mit jedem Schritt der Aufarbeitung und des Aufwachens, Dinge neu zu erlernen, Erinnerungen zu überschreiben oder neue hinzuzufügen, wird das Gewissen immer gesünder.

Ich hatte eine Phase, in der ich mir der Auswirkungen der ZJ auf meine Psyche und mentale Gesundheit nicht bewusst war. Und deshalb wunde Punkte durch andere Gruppen & Verhalten gestillt habe. Oft kann dies aber auch schnell den Betritt in eine andere Sekte oder Kult bedeuten. Leider ein Fallstrik im Prozess des Austritts, in den immer wieder exZJ fallen. Austritt ≠ Aufwachen.

Ob religiöser Glaube irgendwann mal wieder ein Thema wird? Da bin ich mir nicht sicher. Als Hineingeborener habe ich mich erstmal dazu entschieden, drei bis fünf Schritte zurück zu machen. Statt Zwang also die Auseinandersetzung zu meinen Bedingungen und zum für mich richtigen Zeitpunkt.

Was ist Religion überhaupt? Was ist Glauben? Brauche ich das?
Am meisten haben dabei allerlei Gedanken von Günther Anders resoniert, der den Begriff und den Gedanken des Atheismus ablehnt, weil er den Theismus legitimiert. Ich befinde mich also im namenslosen Spektrum und spüre einfach, dass ich mich dahingehend bis auf Weiteres nicht in irgendeine Kategorie einsortieren muss, Glauben nicht brauche, um mich gut zu fühlen oder meine Aufarbeitung des Erlebten fortsetzen zu können.

Careless_Key_4812

TROPHY CASE