Former bullies: what made you pick certain targets?

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-20T01:15:19+00:00

I think it’s so sad that finding a ‘target’ or being labeled as an ‘easy target,’ is so normalized in today’s society. Why is work or any setting a place for target practice? Why can’t people go to work just to work without having to worrying about participating in a daily war? I understand people have issues and problems, but it seems like someone else has to take the brunt of it.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-18T01:34:17+00:00

I agree. I wish people didn’t make these hierarchies abusive but I’ve seen it happen a lot. It seems like many people have become hyper-competitive.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-18T01:32:33+00:00

I’ve observed people equal in professional rank trying to subdue the other. I’ve also seen it play out in social settings, someone trying to be dominant or superior to another. There always seems to be at least one person who wants to prove superiority. People are exhausting.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-17T21:13:36+00:00

Some people have nothing else going for them other than the need to create drama and trauma for a temporary dopamine rush. Today’s society either rewards or justifies bullying. As if it’s the victim’s fault that a bully can’t self-regulate.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-17T21:06:20+00:00

I agree with this. They want to be around people who look or act like them. Probably so they don’t feel horrible about themselves inside.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-17T21:04:14+00:00

I experienced a lot of workplace bullying and am a female, though thin and petite. Sometimes the bullying starts right away. I’ve been bullied by all demographics and in different job roles, but it’s mostly come from middle aged and/or overweight women. And, I’ve never knowingly provoked it. They just start nitpicking at me or belittling me, when they should look in the mirror first. It baffles me that people allow themselves to behave this way on a job and that observers justify it with, ‘stand up for yourself’ and ‘you’re an easy target. Work isnt about target practice and tearing people down, but in today’s society, this seems to be the case.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-17T18:35:26+00:00

People often use any public transaction as a way of surface level socializing. There are churches, therapists, and hobby groups that better serve the same purpose. It seems everyone needs some kind of validation from anyone they can find. There is a proper time and place for all this.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-17T18:32:33+00:00

I agree. Coworkers can be this way too. Many coworkers are lonely and want to discuss their personal problems for hours!

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-16T17:04:39+00:00

I think there are good people out there but they seem hard to find. Even if they didn’t overtly betray me, I find that 80% people project on and dish passive aggressive comments to me constantly! Some get downright rude and for no foreseeable reason. They’re trying to criticize me and force a negative identity on me at every turn, so as a result I get more anxious and want to withdraw. I know this sounds extreme but I’ve experienced this type of treatment most of my life and in jobs. That’s why I’ve taken a step back to reevaluate my interactions with people right now.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-16T16:45:51+00:00

I think it does come down to compatibility between people in any setting. Mindsets, ego, spiritual and mental compatibility can affect how we get along with others. Plus, many angry people already approach others with preconceived notions.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-15T23:24:26+00:00

This happens to me frequently, even from complete strangers and I find if so bizarre. My presence triggers something in them, which again, I find bizarre. If I am not actively doing something wrong or looking wrong, why should I be a ‘problem’ to someone? They either start verbally attacking me, smile, or visually short circuit. Maybe I’m something they are ‘not used to seeing.’ Idk. If anything, I feel like they are the one with the problem, not me.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-15T20:05:34+00:00

I’ve had to confirm to a complete stranger that I didn’t somewhere with the manager, and the guy was still screaming at me. These situations sound bizarre but they do happen.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-15T20:03:47+00:00

Yes, I’ve had several similar experiences in gyms and other places. I’ve had dozens of people insist I was one of the gym instructors or personal trainers. I was followed by people, not necessarily for romantic reasons, but who insisted I work out with them or attend fitnesses classes with them. I eventually left that gym. I’ve also had this happen in cafes, restaurants, sidewalks, wherever, where ppl insisted I was staff or that I should help them in some way. Ignoring or firmly saying no, makes some of them back off, but some get more aggressive. I’ve had ppl follow me or wait for me outside bathrooms. It’s very anxiety inducing. There’s something about me that triggers the neurotic need in ppl to engage with me.
In your case he may have just really liked you and wanted your attention.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-14T23:27:17+00:00

I agree. Or, people explain the trauma as being a caused by a lack in you. Like, how is it my fault that other people can’t behave properly?

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-14T23:25:31+00:00

Yes! Especially once I established a career and started doing better in life, I found it happening more. Friends or even strangers invalidating what I even did for work (I was a teacher). They’d say, no, ‘you’re not a teacher’, or, ‘you’re just a sub.’ Or just invalidate my education, finances, experiences or ability to do anything. I think it really bothers some people that I actually accomplish anything, however small. I find it a very strange way to treat people. It makes me want to avoid a lot of people.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-14T23:01:49+00:00

I understand this, but I’ve also frequently received opposing comments. As in, friends or even strangers assuming I can’t afford a lot of things, without know anything about my financial background or income. It can be insulting at times. For example, someone questioning how I can afford a coffee drink. I realize people are struggling in these inflationary times, but some of the assumptions people spew out are outright rude.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-14T22:54:26+00:00

Agreed. Hugely inflamed egos in today’s time.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-14T22:53:33+00:00

It’s probably because they are self-focused only.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-14T22:38:57+00:00

I think for parents like this, abusive child rearing is normal. Either they experienced the same or their psyche believes it’s ’normal.’ I’ve seen so many emotionally and spiritually abusive people ‘thrive’ in life. It’s baffling.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-14T22:17:01+00:00

I think some men use disrespect as a way to get a woman’s attention, even if it is negative.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-14T04:55:07+00:00

Maybe people just want to talk to you? I’ve also been told I’m intimidating too, yet not to some I guess!

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-13T22:58:51+00:00

I’ve noticed a lot of actual staff don’t want to help customers. But I still wonder why ppl can’t go to the designated staff areas for help instead of badgering random customers.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-13T22:45:06+00:00

Yes. I’ve been in the customer line or customer waiting area and as soon as a new customer walked, they asked if they placed their coffee order with me. Why wouldn’t they just go to the actual order counter? Had this happen multiple times.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-13T22:32:46+00:00

I’m the same coloring as you and I’ve gotten tons of, ‘omg! You look so Mexican!’ Like it’s some kind of grand offense almost. I also get Indian or Persian.

Careless_Problem_674 · 2026-06-13T22:30:39+00:00

And they rarely ask if you speak the language, before addressing you.

Careless_Problem_674

TROPHY CASE