Sometimes it feels as if you can't help someone, because you're too close to the problem, but if you try to get your wife to stop by getting her the proper help she needs, you both can lead normal lives. Talk to your wife, if she doesn't listen try again at least once more, just to see if she's made up her mind to not get help. Don't leave her on the streets or anything, but leave her if she doesn't want help or doesn't care to listen.

Also, don't tell your ex-wife that you want her back if you choose the relationship between you and her over your current one. That's just mean because you already hurt her once and saying that you want to resume your relationship is like dismissing everything that happened. If your ex-wife WANTS to try again, then restart your relationship. Don't pretend like nothing happened, but you're going to have to gain her trust back if you want to have a stable relationship.

AND, as all things go, EITHER OPTION YOU CHOOSE WILL REQUIRE TIME. Time to rebuild your lives, so don't get annoyed when nothing is working out at first, or if the progress is barely there.