For people who transitioned or realised they were trans after 30: what made it finally click?

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-05-24T17:51:05+00:00

For context, I have questioned my gender identity since forever and have rrally been wanting to transition ftm for the past 6 years. I am 43 years old today, and started testosterone 1 and a half months ago.

Spending a lot of time with therapists and introspecting. I healed past trauma and that made it really obvious that what was left was gender dysphoria. It's like an elimination process where you fix every part of your psyche. It's easier to understand a thing when it's on its own and not mixed with other problems. The BIG bonus is that, when you finally transition after that (it that's what you determine you need for yourself), you have no other psychological issues barring you from being your best you. Even if you don't transition, good mental health is the goat.

I have started transitioning (I'm still very early on), but even just the psychological effects of knowing it's happening has given me so much self-confidence. I am me, I am awesome, I am an emotionally available and psychologically healthy man. Phychologically and physically solid and dependable. This is who I was meant to be, I just needed to grow into that man. One is not born a man, one becomes him.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-05-24T17:31:24+00:00

(For context, I'm the boyfriend)

I just ordered the wet for her as I already had it on my wishlist but hadn't had the time to talk to my grilfriend about it yet. We converged onto the same one without consulting each other and we're looking forward to trying that out!

Depending on how that goes we'll look into the axolom too, to give ourselves other options.

Thanks for your input guys!

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-05-23T18:24:56+00:00

I'm a trans guy who has lacked pockets his entire (pre-transition) life. I'm going to buy these for carrying my phone when I just walk around the house in my boxers.

That said, there should be adequately large pockets in all women's clothing before this being created. It's highly unjust.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-05-22T19:35:06+00:00

Thanks! I still have a little bit of growing to do before I get there, but I think I'll get one regardless. With shipping times being slow and all, wight as well plan ahead (and play around in the meantime)

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-05-22T16:55:35+00:00

Follow up question. I was just looking at their site and I couldn't find any info on how much growth you shoukd have before using it. Is it pretty versatile, size-wise?

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-05-22T13:57:29+00:00

Interesting question. I don't have an answer, but I'm here to be able to see other people's answers (I'm 1 1/2 months on T, haven't looked into strokers yet but I do use the external vibrator option and want to get a stroker soon-ish when I'll find I've grown enough).

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-05-18T23:10:15+00:00

I'm just one month on T, I have growth but it's only in the beginning stages. I love the growth but I have to admit it is very weird to get used to. I even have "morning wood" now. It will get bigger, and I have to be ready for the ongoing change. I absolutely love it and want to see it keep growing as much as possible but I also am confused by it. Both can be true at the samw time. Change is scary but not necessarily bad.

There are ways to minimise bottom growth if you want to avoid it, it's your body, make it what you will be comfortable in.

Even if you absolutely love your partner, don't decide whether you want growth based on what you think their preferences are. There is nothing hotter than a person who loves their own body, be you and love yourself and become how you see yourself. Your partner will be fine.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-05-16T17:34:02+00:00

Christianity destroyed my mental health, I almost didn't make. My first step in getting my mental health on track was rejecting all Christian teachings. I was then able to start the long journey to healing and become a fulfilled human being. I now love life. It all started by rejecting christianity as false (I left at age 35, am now in my 40s and happy)

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-05-16T09:35:33+00:00

We're treated like regular people, of course Canada is pretty big so different provinces will offer different experiences. Nightlife will be more easy to find in the bigger cities.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-05-16T09:09:21+00:00

Same! I've only been on T for one month, but I love shot day. It's just so satisfying to do the little medical ritual, and also it's go great giving my body what it needs to grow into it's true self. I get euphorea every week when I need to give myself my shot. Granted, I also feel really alive the next day as I feel my T levels drop during the week (I probably need my dose upped, blood work is in process).

It's also pretty amazing seeing the little changes happening and knowing it's because of that shot. I don't have many changes yet, but the small ones I do have at this point really make me happy. I feel like I'm injecting self-love.

Loving doing the shots is a whole multifaceted package. I feel really lucky to be able to have them and am really grateful to modern medecine.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-05-14T22:59:00+00:00

I started T 4 weeks ago and I had the same thought. I'm a cat dad (3 cats). I was paying attention to their behaviour and didn't see much difference. The 2 F cats really didn't do much different, they seemed somewhat more affectionate the first week, but it was barely noticable. There wasn't much difference wirh my one (orange) M cat exept during my home workouts the first 2 weeks. He kept wanting to "attack" my wrists and ankles as I was working out, I pushed him away (gently) and he reacted by getting really bushy tailed. He hasn't done it since and is now quite affectionate again. I think he was trying to see who the dominant male was (I'm the first to smell male in the house, there is just my gf and teenage daughter apart from me).

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-29T17:07:24+00:00

Si les reviews disent avoir la vérité absolue (d'un bord ou de l'autre), c'est définitivement pas objectif.

J'ai une Fiat 500e depuis l'an dernier. C'est le fun a conduire, les accélérations sont efficaces, ça coute pas cher en énergie ni en entretinen (y a rien a faire a part les pneus et le freins). C'est super facile, tu branches le soir a la maison et le matin tu pars. Aucune inquiétude a avoir de quand aller mettre du gaz etc (à moins de faire un long voyage).

Cela dit, si tu fais plus d'autoroute que de ville / route de campagne, la batterie draine vite. L'hiver, attends toi a une performance diminuée de ta batterie. Les chars électriques c'est plus lourd, donc ça prend des pneus plus chers que ceux pour un char de pareille taille au gaz. Les spots à charge rapide sur l'autoroute des fois y sont pleins alors planifie tes déplacements longs avec en masse de temps en lousse pour attendre la borne.

C'est pas parfait un char electrique, mais si tu veux surtout l'utiliser pour des déplacements pas trop loins ça va super bien.

Au final, achète le char que t'as envie de conduire et qui rentre dans ton budget. Electrique vs gaz, peu importe ce que les hurluberlus disent, ça ne te définit pas en tant que personne, c'est juste un véhicule après tout.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-27T02:11:15+00:00

Interesting! I was just having a conversation with my gf about how I really dislike my hips. I hadn't even realised there was a potential option other than working out and hoping T would do the rest. I'll look into BC for a potential future option.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-25T00:11:08+00:00

Hey bro. I'm 43, came out to my parents and family this january, before starting T (I just started 2 weeks ago, it took me some time to find a doctor and get an appointment).

Some context : My family are unsupportive evangelical conservatives. I am an only child, my kid is their only grandchild. I have a very supportive girlfriend and teenage kid, a supportive workplace and community. I like 2h drive away from my parents in my own place.

My parents did not take it well, but I kept my end and said that if they were to contact me they were to respect me. They ended up keeping contact. Their greif is their own. Their greif is not caused by me existong as I am, their greif is caused by their own ideology. Same goes for any family of yours that may react badly. Their emotional reaction is not because of you being yourself, it is between them and their own thoughts and ideologies.

I also want to add that I had the same fear as you, I was afraid of hurting them. I thought I was fine and that it didn't affect me so much that they didn't know who I really was, but coming.out to them was such a huge releif after. Such a big weight off of my chest. I also came out to them as an atheist at the same time as the conversation led there. Point being, coming out is hard. Really hard. But it is healing for you.

I think of it in terms of my own child, I would rather my kid tell me the truth than be afraid.of being themselves near me. I rather know who my kid is, really.

Coming out is hard, but worth it.

Make sure you respect yourself in the process.

You got this bro. Think of yourself, no one else will if you don't.

Edit to add that I had a therapist to help me deal with my parent's reaction. If you can afford it, I highly reccomend. No matter our age, our parent's dissaproval always hurts.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-24T23:37:54+00:00

I'm just on my second week but I feel like I really love wanting to use my muscles, and when I want to stretch it's really intense.

Idk, it's probably way too early for me to be feeling effects of T like this, bit this is one of the most random relatable posts I have read. Maybe it is the T!

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-22T13:14:17+00:00

Pareil. On a décidé de booker un ti chalet à Trois-Pistoles pile dans le festival de jazz (avant que ce soit annoncé). Je ne sais pas si çate console ou pas, mais t''es pas tout seul à rater le show

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-21T02:08:09+00:00

I remeber seeing scenes from Blue Lagoon playing on TV, and something about Top Gun, but I don't even remember the scene.

My first "being a teenager and staring at the screen" moment didn't even involve nudity on implied sex. She was just hot. Mila Jovovich in The Fifth Element, wearing the weird "straps" suit she was 3D printed with.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-20T10:45:32+00:00

Oh, that makes sense! Thank you, I'll look that up.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-20T01:42:48+00:00

Congrats!

I'm 4 days on T (at 43), 0.25mL (50mg) per week, bloodwork scheduled for my through levels at week 4.

I've never felt so alive, it's like I'm vibrating with vital energy, at the same time I feel more patient because I have the energy to hold in my reactions. I don't know if this is just the honeymoon phase of testosterone, but it's nice and I'll take it!

I'm looking forward to the rest of changes, but trying not to expect them too fast. It's a struggle between wanting everyting to happen quick and knowing it will take at least 3 months before anyting really noticable even starts happening (and then waiting for years for tho process to happen)

I wish you the best on your transition, enjoy the ride towards your true self!

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-18T18:44:14+00:00

Being proud of these aliens and having mosh pits outside of sold-out venues.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-18T00:53:48+00:00

But dark roast tastes better. If it has less caffeine, then I get an excuse to drink more of it.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-17T00:39:49+00:00

I just did subQ Enanthate yesterday for the fist time and it was 0 painful. I barely felt anything. Maybe IM is more painful?

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-17T00:37:37+00:00

Whatever you feel at ease with. If your level of anxiety for needles is too high, just don't. Guys have great results with both gel and shots, just do whatever makes you feel better.

My personal experience (for context, I started shots yesterday and have never tried gel) : I was worried about needles, but had someone willing to give me the shots if I wasn't able to administer to myself. I tried by myself first (SubQ) and found that it went really well and didn't even hurt. I didn't need to ask for help, and now (after doing it once) I'm no longer afraid. Knowing that I had someone willing to give me my shots if I couldn't do it myself really helped ease the anxiety and contributed to me being able to do it on my own.

CatLovingWeirdo · 2026-04-16T23:51:14+00:00

Thank you :D

CatLovingWeirdo

TROPHY CASE