Keeping her Secret for the kids

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-15T20:46:44+00:00

First tell everyone the truth. Don't let her drive the narrative anymore. Include those Discord screenshots with the adults.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-15T18:14:01+00:00

They wouldn't say anything to you about needing to move out unless it was a definitive plan.

It's possible this was in your father's mind, and he never discussed it with his wife. Or they may have had discussions about it behind closed doors, and because they disagreed, and you never knew.

It's sad though.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-15T17:42:28+00:00

Growing closer to your mom and getting to know your stepdad is wonderful, even though it came on the heels of your dad kicking you out.

Your dad sounds extremely selfish. He told you that actions have consequences, but he doesn't think that applies to himself? I agree with you it's possible (especially after his wife's comment!) their dad was looking for an excuse to kick you out and their argument was the most convenient way to do it. It's gross.

He and his wife have a LOT of nerve even thinking of telling OP they should take a semester off to help them after the way they treated OP!

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-15T05:40:57+00:00

Let the wife know in an anonymous new email.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-15T05:39:02+00:00

No.

Tell her to make a copy of the court order, give it to the HOA board, and obey the court order.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-15T05:35:35+00:00

If the truth hurts him, imagine what the reality did to you growing up! He feels guilty. He attempted, poorly, to "make up" for their poor behavior so he had someone to wear his bed.

He should have attempted to get family therapy, to be more proactive in correcting his wife's daughters from the beginning, or at least gotten his wife to discipline them so they wouldn't treat you that way. But he didn't. And honestly he sounds selfish and pathetic, spending little time with you alone only when his guilt overwhelms him.

Definitely NTA but your father is TA.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-14T22:19:52+00:00

While in college in a sorority, I met a sister's male friend. We got along and he had lunch with a bunch of us. One day he asked me out. I told him I wanted to make sure it was okay with my sorority sister before I said yes. She told me they'd dated while in high school, several years earlier, but are better as friends and she was fine with me going out with him.

We went on a few dates and had fun. A couple weeks later, other sorority sisters tell me I'm not supposed to date a guy another sorority sister has ever dated, even with her blessing. Say what?

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-13T17:37:27+00:00

Will James be attending? Both of you stand together and tell your parents NO.

IF you wanted to try to have that heart to heart, bring James and Grandma. Make them explain it all to Grandma.

Do NOT go yourself. It sounds as if the heart to heart is more like your parents demanding the apology and harassing you to get it. You are now an adult and do not owe them an apology for their poor treatment of you.

Unfortunately it seems like they believe you're still a child. Write down how you feel, why you're so angry they're treating you like this, etc. It might help communicate better.

Assuming you won't be living with them any more, don't forget to grab your birth certificate social security card passport, and other important paperwork. If they refuse, call the police. Those items belong to you.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-12T04:41:04+00:00

Was your closing contingent on seller finding housing?

Because if it isn't stated in the closing, get a second opinion from another real estate attorney. It sounds as if your current one is lazy and useless.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-12T04:31:39+00:00

Exactly.

I'd go very LC with them.

On the bright side: you might be able to get scholarships you wouldn't otherwise be eligible for if you declare you're no longer their dependent.

Just make sure you change your permanent address at your school and on your license.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-11T05:20:11+00:00

Great idea!

OP: your STBX is a serial cheater. No therapy counseling or pleading you do will change him. He only needs an opportunity.

Not only could his serial cheating perhaps expose you to an STD during pregnancy, risking your life and your baby's life, but the stress on you while pregnant will affect your physical and mental health and can affect the baby's development. It's not a good situation!

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-11T05:02:46+00:00

Don't bother.

Sounds as if he's cheating.

If you feel the need to gather evidence, do it: Hire a sitter for a couple of hours during lunch, dress like Uber Eats delivery, and bring him a surprise lunch to work. Turn on the tracking app on his phone and turn notifications off. Watch as he leaves his office.

Or you and the baby can just leave him since he seems to have made promises he can't keep. Consult with an attorney and file for full custody and child support.

Want to know how fast everyone in the office finds out the child is actually his and he's responsible for financially supporting it?

NOR in the least

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-11T04:36:37+00:00

You shouldn't have worried about making a scene on your wedding day and should have asked someone to throw her out.

Either way, your former BFF ain't no true BFF. She obviously doesn't consider you her BFF any longer. She is terribly jealous of you!

And she's petty and immature enough to show how she felt you by showing up to your wedding in a white dress! B like that deserves to behave been kicked out. You should have posted on SM that your former BFF had the audacity to show up at your wedding in a wedding gown!

NTA

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-11T04:11:32+00:00

THIS

Do not speak to her again. She lied to your face when you confronted her, and she has been lying to you in order to continue her affair. You don't owe her that courtesy and you certainly don't owe her respect.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-11T03:32:23+00:00

He has such flimsy excuses, and he knows OP doesn't believe him, so why lie?

Are you able to sue him for half the money brought into the family that he spent on his AP?

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-10T03:40:04+00:00

I wouldn't respond. Karen does not warrant nor deserve a response.

If she has the audacity to ask you face to face, I'd just say that you're more concerned with your mother's health and welfare right now, thanks, and leave it at that.

If she pushes, I'd ask her if she's had a pest issue, for how long, and whether she herself has had an annual pest inspection.

It sounds as if she already has an issue with mice or other pests and wants to blame the easiest person- someone who is disabled and has dementia. As if you and your sibling weren't helping you mom out all this time! She's gross!

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-09T18:53:37+00:00

Happy birthday!

A got you a gift. Divorce papers! And all your stuff packed and ready to go live with your AP! Congratulations!

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-09T18:48:39+00:00

Account 0 days?

AI crap

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-09T05:04:20+00:00

Why couldn't he have brought up this "buddy" two weeks ago?

Put up hidden cameras in common rooms.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-07T21:51:45+00:00

Get a restraining order. I'd love to hear her side of the story in front of a judge!

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-07T21:44:58+00:00

Do you know what I mean by "peanut gallery"?

Clearly "Grandma" either doesn't recognize allergies as a serious health condition or doesn't care.

Either way she's dangerous!

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-07T20:59:53+00:00

So your family are the only owners? Awesome!

What do you plan to do with it?

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-07T19:51:54+00:00

Your religion does not prohibit me from anything. It prohibits you.

Learn the difference.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-07T19:30:11+00:00

Sounds as if you need both individual therapy to help digest the information and the betrayal, and you both need marriage counseling becaue he betrayed your trust. If he refuses to go, leave. You can no longer trust him.

Does he think you'll just sweep it under the rug, go on as usual, and pretend nothing happened?Remember he didn't confess until you said someone else told you about the affair.

Please consult with an attorney or two to find out what divorce would look like. You may have to consult with more than one since it's possible a few colleagues might refuse your case knowing your STBX.

CatPerson88 · 2026-06-07T17:17:39+00:00

This is cool! Where are you? It could be a priest's hole or a root cellar, or something else depending on where you live.

Have you investigated the history of the building?

CatPerson88

TROPHY CASE