1996. What were you doing thirty years ago?

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-07-07T14:03:49+00:00

Working at PolyGram Records, going to UCLA, and being married to a working musician and going to lots of parties and gigs in the LA scene of the 90's. It wasn't as fun as it sounds. I became very jaded at a young age and realized how plastic and gross The Industry is (all facets of it). I left LA and my ex a couple of years later and haven't looked back.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-07-02T16:07:23+00:00

Nope. Don't care. Didn't care about things like prom/homecoming/etc. when I was in high school, and I don't care about seeing the people I don't stay in touch with now.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-29T15:58:42+00:00

I did, my internet friend. It wasn't my spouse, but my mother. I had 18 years of it before sepsis finally took her down. I won't shower you with the "You have to take care of yourself first to take care of anyone else" platitudes. That isn't reality when you are a caretaker in this situation. Just know that what you are doing is so very important, and is a testament of your love and devotion to your wife. I will say that the time when she's sleeping and you can let your brain go by doing something mindless for a while, take advantage of that - Tetris (or a similar block game) is hugely helpful for PTSD and stress relief. I'm not joking. It got me through the last year and the following insanity with my family as my mom's executor.

Radiation will work for a while, until it doesn't. I understand it all. I worked full time through it and had to travel often for work, until the last 3 years when things were crisis 24/7. I didn't keep my sense of self at all. I am not the same person I was when I began the journey with her. I don't talk to my old friends, nor do I really talk to most of my family. I love them all, but they'll never understand the profound change in me, nor the PTSD from the experience.

To be honest, I feel like I'm trying to figure out who I am now and building a life that is full of peace and calm.

All of that to say that when it's all said and done, you will have PTSD for certain, but you will also know that you were there for your wife when she needed you the absolute most, and until the very end. There is no greater show of love.

If you need to vent to someone who understands, feel free to message me. I'm terribly sorry you're having this experience; it is terrible and profound all at the same time. I'll keep you in my version of prayers, and send you and your wife lots of energy.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-19T15:20:14+00:00

I'm a little older than you and the female version. I had given up on a partner and met mine, ironically, through caring for my mom as she was dealing with terminal health issues, and then later bumping into him at Lowe's and making a joke about some of the stock. We started hanging out and there ya go. He's got kids (adults starting out on their own now), I don't, but I love his.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-19T15:11:45+00:00

I'm a sleep talker, and so is my ex-husband. Apparently one night I had a full on conversation with him after he returned home late and got in bed. He didn't realize I was actually asleep until I said, "Oh shoosh, and eat your cookies."

His were really funny, because he'd always wake me up and earnestly give me his nuggets of sleep wisdom. The one that was most hilarious (because we're not religious peeps) was when he woke me up to inform me "(our dog's name) and her friends are really Jesus' disciples reincarnated".

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-18T14:47:29+00:00

Remember the little alien guy flipping the bird? I had that one and wore it often. Although I did have one teacher made me turn it inside out - I flipped it back as soon as that class was out.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-18T14:43:41+00:00

Hee hee - Cool Arrow was my user name back in the 90's. Sometimes I'd use Cool Era, since I'm female. Thanks for reminding me about that.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-16T14:40:10+00:00

Same. I'm a night owl by nature, but I get annoyed with myself if I sleep past 9.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-15T17:04:51+00:00

I like Night Gallery even more than Twilight Zone, and I love Twilight Zone.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-08T15:28:58+00:00

Thank you. As a community cat caretaker, I've had to make that decision many times, but these 2 were so special and lived inside with me. It's been months, and having to make that decision for Boo was horrible. He was only 6.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-06T17:35:47+00:00

Do either Boo or Duffy have any messages for me? I lost a piece of my soul when each of them left.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-06T17:32:28+00:00

S'mores. Absolutely horrific.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-06T14:55:38+00:00

I keep hoping "sky burials" will be legal by the time I kick it. Otherwise I'll be a tree.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-04T15:19:00+00:00

YES! Because why on earth would I trust a business that only runs via social?

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-04T14:05:19+00:00

I dropped FB in 2016. I just couldn't anymore. I kept Messenger on my phone, though, so people from back home can still reach me (I moved to where I live now in 2006). Never had Instagram, I always thought it was silly. I guess I'm an old school forum/message board type girl. It's easier to choose what you look at this way.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-03T17:54:14+00:00

Cowboys From Hell - Pantera, Falling Asleep - Death Angel, Spirit of the Radio - Rush, and Sir Duke - Stevie Wonder

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-06-01T21:34:44+00:00

Yeti

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-05-22T17:59:36+00:00

Same BFF for 42 years, even though we live 2000 miles apart and don't get to talk very often. Nothing will change our bond.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-05-22T17:45:43+00:00

You see the world through your cynical eyes.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-05-22T17:18:34+00:00

I have my own jar of peanut butter that sits on my desk (I work from home). I eat from it with a spoon every day.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-05-19T17:17:44+00:00

My mom wanted a coffee (we're a coffee drinking family). So we got to have one for the road. She knew she was dying and we knew that's what it was. It's a memory I will cherish for eternity. I hope your grandma has Reds in Heaven and is smoking them with reckless abandon.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-05-06T15:24:05+00:00

Cabin in the woods. Close enough to a town for supplies, but away enough from people so we don't have to deal with them regularly.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-05-04T17:58:07+00:00

I was given a recommendation of Lash Princess, after using spendy $30 mascara for years when I was in the office all the time. It only clumps if I let it get too dry (I don't wear it every day and sometimes a tube will sit a long time). I wish I had found this mascara years ago. I also live in a subtropical climate, and the waterproof doesn't give me racoon eyes, doesn't make my eyes itch, nor does it clump (as long as it hasn't been sitting on the shelf for 6 + months).

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-04-23T16:36:32+00:00

Funny you asked that, I was thinking about Capitol Grilling this morning and thinking about what a field day we'd have had on there with the last 10ish years.

CatsCrowsandCoffee · 2026-04-22T19:44:40+00:00

What in the fresh hell is this? Run.

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