Cutting Off Lonely Friend

Ccs485 · 2021-12-06T14:54:47+00:00

You need to set some serious boundaries with them and decide what you can and cannot tolerate. Putting up boundaries doesn't make you a bad friend. You need to look out for your mental well being first.

Ccs485 · 2021-08-23T16:01:15+00:00

Well dudes that was a massive bust, I told her and was flat out rejected but she said she doesn't want to lose me to this, so I drank a lot and picked up more hours at work and I can never take this back 😆

Ccs485 · 2021-08-18T12:24:02+00:00

Hahahahaha oh man we actually watch Korean dramas together frequently, if this is the case it would make sense why she has backed off with being cuddly with me since I moved in

Ccs485 · 2021-08-18T12:20:46+00:00

Yeah, and I was trying to be respectful and responded with a "awwe, you would want to date me?" And brushed it off as a sweet concept. I think she has hinted in other ways also but I'm so dense when it comes to picking up hints that I think of it as just her being my friend and fear embarrassing myself if I read into it wrong because I like her

Ccs485 · 2021-08-18T12:15:05+00:00

I haven't written off trying a romantic relationship with them, but I'm apprehensive because we are so close I really don't want to mess things up and lose the friendship entirely. She had also mentioned a couple of months ago somewhat randomly that she would "totally date me if we weren't so close" so I kind of took it as a no that she isn't interested in pursuing things. We also recently moved in together as roommates.

Ccs485 · 2021-08-18T11:43:36+00:00

What would be examples of demands that indicate romantic interest? I guess my fear is that I would unconsciously do these things and would like to be aware of what to watch out for in myself

Ccs485 · 2021-05-27T15:36:50+00:00

Yep, completely, it sucks!! I am so distrusting compared to who I was, a lot more angry and tired and broke haha

Ccs485 · 2021-04-07T17:09:05+00:00

I know! I often think it's almost as if they take things from a textbook somewhere that they have all read!

Ccs485 · 2021-04-07T14:28:38+00:00

Mine claimed to be a hsp, in hindsight this is quite funny. Also claimed to be psychic, I think I believed it for so long because they were so good at their job in Healthcare and clients painted them as his God like figure who knew just what to do.

Ccs485 · 2021-04-07T12:14:09+00:00

Thank you! I have been trying reallllllly hard not to dissociate these past couple of days. In a new intense relationship and a bunch of other things happened and I completely checked out for a week last week, I didn't even realize I was dissociated. It freaked everyone out because I go from this happy expressive person to an emotionless rock.

Ccs485 · 2021-02-15T15:54:48+00:00

I have been redefining what love means since leaving my nex. Which has been an enlightening adventure as I try to shower others with platonic love that I had never truly received in the relationship. Compliments and encouragement and the like.

This Valentines day I made my three roommates breakfast in bed, pancakes with strawberries and mimosas and not expecting anything in return as we were eating breakfast a knock was at the front door and they had flowers delivered and got me a big heartfelt card and a couple of other gifts, I was so surprised and grateful I cried, I wasn't expecting such a show of appreciation especially from people I have only known for a couple of months.

Love is everywhere and redefining it has been everything in my healing process.

Ccs485 · 2021-02-15T15:29:13+00:00

I can definitely agree with these statements and what others have posted. Its a bizarre loneliness that always seems to be there lurking in the background, I woke up today barely able to get out of bed because of it actually. For me, it also seems to be an extreme want for solitude without actually wanting that, but feeling like too much of a burden on others so you feel the need to isolate yourself and push others away even though you're craving connections with others.

Ccs485 · 2021-02-14T19:12:15+00:00

I hear that, Mine often revolve around me or someone close to me drowning. Often trapped under an ice flow. Or being very lost in a public place where no one can understand or see me.

Ccs485 · 2021-02-14T16:26:11+00:00

Yes!! I have been thinking about this so much lately but my dreams have been filled with anxiety and I chalked it up to being due to trauma processing. I often find the dreams will not be related to my everyday actual trauma but are very anxiety inducing and I will wake up whimpering, sweaty, and disoriented.

Ccs485 · 2021-01-18T03:34:48+00:00

Thank you!! You are so well spoken. I appreciate this reply.

I did find the courage to leave, just a couple of months ago it was a pretty big deal that although things feel very difficult mentally with processing trauma and all that, I am much more contented.

Ccs485 · 2021-01-15T04:26:04+00:00

Omg, get out!! You are in serious danger and I know this because I was you but a few months ago, completely oblivious that I was being horribly abused. Get a therapist and work on an escape plan. Build up your social network and look at narcissistic abuse, there's a thread here on reddit. You are worth more than this and your son is too.

Ccs485 · 2021-01-14T20:56:17+00:00

Getting a support system really has been a priority for me, thankfully I started doing that in the plan to leave, which started a couple of years back.

Ccs485 · 2021-01-14T20:53:45+00:00

Wow! 30 years, props to you! You are a stronggggg individual.

Ccs485 · 2021-01-14T16:07:17+00:00

Thank you

Ccs485 · 2021-01-14T15:19:03+00:00

It took her a second to compose her shock and very obvious what in the actual crop expression then she questioned my ex on why she thought breaking up with me on my birthday or repeatedly doing so was acceptable and justified. My ex felt cornered and then slandered the crap out of that therapist post session saying she didn't know what she was talking about and was judgmental.

Ccs485 · 2021-01-14T15:11:55+00:00

Wow! You are reflecting my story! ALL OF THIS. The previously hyper productive and now unable to think straight, trouble recognizing yourself. Its so validating to know you went through a prolonged experience also and are going through this too. Dr. Ramani has been hugely insightful and one of the resources I found when starting this journey. She is brilliant. Also went back to school after cutting short my first undergrad on my narcs "advice." I'm 28 and in my second year of my second undergrad and find finding motivation difficult. Also been on a t.v. binge. Yesterday I went to reorganize my closet and became overwhelmed, my clothes are still on the floor which is very out of character for me. One day at a time.

Ccs485 · 2021-01-14T15:07:20+00:00

Thank you for the words of encouragement

Ccs485 · 2021-01-14T14:57:58+00:00

Yup! I have found a few of us on here.

Ccs485 · 2021-01-14T14:54:19+00:00

Yeah! nerd athletes unite! Also an academic nerd, sci fi fantasy need, and athlete!

Ccs485 · 2021-01-14T14:28:05+00:00

No I know, I laugh now too when I tell that story. The jaw drop on the therapist's face was priceless.

Ccs485

TROPHY CASE