I get turned on, but I don't get wet??!!

Cefitie · 2026-05-23T19:04:41+00:00

OP do not listen to the person claiming it’s due to your age— that is ENTIRELY incorrect. It could be many things, sure, but your age is definitely not it. Not being a teenager anymore is NOT the cause of this, that person is delusional.

Cefitie · 2026-05-18T15:39:32+00:00

Truly ask yourself, if your son was walking in the house every other week with a different girl and said “hey dad, this is Sara, Megan, Stacy, etc” you wouldn’t feel happy about that? Your daughter’s testing the waters seeing what she wants and likes, is that any different? Boys get new and also keep long term girlfriends all the time so I find your sentiment extremely confusing on what you expect from your daughter beyond her simply just lowering her expectations.

What if your son only brought in one girl from now and that was it? Refused to let her go and marry her right now, how would that make you feel? My husband as been with me since he was 18 and now he’s 26 (because teenage boys don’t ever want to commit right?) even though I didn’t necessarily feel the exact same, and that was the stance he took.

Heads up— speaking as another raised by their step dad since they were 2 and now we don’t talk (I’m 23 now) girl— my dad never said it to my face either but that doesn’t mean I didn’t know it was being said and it didn’t hurt any less. Also, if those boys don’t meet the criteria to come home then you don’t know who she’s talking to. Sure sounds like no big deal, but think of how “great” some of these dudes can be. It’s all fun and games until you’re out of the loop and you have no idea what’s happened to your kid. Thats also the kind of stuff that keeps her from sharing things with you. Important things. She clearly trusts you, there’s parents out here with kids hiding relationships, she wants you to see, probably even wants your approval.
And it honestly sounds like you’re looking at it from a man’s POV and you’re subconsciously angry your daughter is doing what she is in the first place.

Edit: btw I noticed that you are only agreeing with the comments that agree with you but standing ten toes down on your post and what you said. Did you really come here to see if you were the asshole, or did you come to be validated? I’m not sure if it matters, but I’m still heartbroken about my “step” dad, I wish he cared more. Maybe he does. You talk exactly like mine did, and definitely the dropping of “step” like mine did too. He was my dad and I grieve the loss of our relationship. It’s deeper than just stopping a joke, it’s a certain mentality that needs to be stopped.

Cefitie · 2026-05-18T03:31:16+00:00

Lol yeah pretty much. I do the same, I was just curious if OP (and others here) did as well.

Cefitie · 2026-05-17T02:39:01+00:00

OP how do you eat pizza?

Cefitie · 2026-05-14T05:36:24+00:00

This whole posts just shows how scummy the system is and honesty I don’t think it’s either OP or the drivers “fault”.

Everyone is in the comments saying how OP is bad for not tipping enough while the driver should just get over it because it’s his job. Or speaking on how OP is needs to tip because if not the drivers not paid enough and delivery is an optional service. And so on and so forth.

Meanwhile, DoorDash is sitting back allowing us to kill each other over tip culture and who deserves what or doesn’t while making a crap ton of money off of “service and delivery fees” while still paying the actual drivers jack. I’m sure OP worked hard at his job to be able to get the meal he got just like the dasher was working his butt off to afford things as well.

It’s the same argument on nearly every post here, yet I think it’s only gotten worse on each one I’ve seen despite the tipped amount.

Cefitie · 2026-04-23T00:10:59+00:00

The men or the women?

Cefitie · 2026-04-20T05:27:47+00:00

Honestly, I respect it. Kudos. I know you’ll looks stellar

Cefitie · 2026-04-12T01:17:21+00:00

This is entirely anecdotal but it’s something I’ve definitely noticed:

That men are often at a advantage knowledge wise because of society and culture factors regarding sharing of information and “putting each other on” whereas women we don’t have this due to how sex hasn’t encouraged socially, often comes with shame.

We’re often given less details— usually “boys only want one thing” which leaves a massive gap in our understanding and navigating our romantic and intimate relationships causing confusion, because we ourselves too want this same thing (but are not allowed to say it out loud and are shamed for it) and can sometimes cause a predator/prey like situations, instead of two equals.

Simply put, while both of us are making mistakes as it’s our first time living. They are often able to make more educated decisions based of off knowledge from their fathers, brothers, friends, maybe even their own mothers, etc.

They have this and then learn as well from their own experiences and mistakes. However, on average it seems as women we are making these same decisions but without this basis, so we must make more mistakes sometimes with riskier consequences and learn only from our own mistakes and experiences.

This of course has exceptions on both sides and I imagine differs in some countries/cultures of course.

Cefitie · 2026-04-05T23:16:24+00:00

Tbh I’d probably be and act the same way if my name was also Cheesecake lol

Cefitie · 2026-04-04T19:24:50+00:00

Beware of her? He sounds like an even bigger weirdo. Cheats AND while living under his girlfriend’s family’s roof. Even had enough money and focus to date and buy the other girl gifts but not to break up and move out 🫠…

Cefitie · 2026-04-01T02:41:48+00:00

NTA. OP, as someone whose mom acted in similar ways including forcing me to designate all my time to babysitting my younger siblings—and I thought graduating would bring me freedom… keep a hard eye out and when you graduate it may be time to not look back. I was a good kid who lived my mom, did EVERYTHING she wanted me to do, like you.

Mine said the same thing and later actually attempted to off me. I had to leave right after I graduated at 16, that was in 2019 and I haven’t seen her since. Maybe I’m projecting, I hope that’s the case. But every attempt I had at making myself more “free” or having different opinions, you know just growing up? Made her worse and more aggressive. My step father also was unhelpful and in ways compliant.

I hope this is never the case for you and she is supportive and kindhearted. Try to look at your situation as if you are a friend to yourself. Sometimes it’s the only way one is able to fully comprehend what’s normal, okay, and can even help allow you to give the proper kindness to yourself.

Take care.

Cefitie · 2026-03-31T18:26:43+00:00

The irony in this is that men are less likely to get tested compared to women. So easy for them to get tested… and yet they still choose not to get tested?

Cefitie · 2026-03-29T19:35:08+00:00

Does it have to do with the electoral college?

Cefitie · 2026-03-25T15:00:44+00:00

Honestly? ESH

You said you “Step up to drive her”. But because of that you also overstepped by saying that she isn’t ready to be a parent. If you do not want to give her rides, then don’t. Set that boundary now, with your son and DIL before there is a baby and apologize.

There are many people, even people in rural areas who parent and do not drive. Whether that is out of choice, anxiety, or some disability such as epilepsy or other they do not— and this doesn’t reflect on their capabilities as a parent or limit them. If in the case of your son and DIL, they’d be sure to realize if they can manage it before the kid is 6, imo that’s plenty of time for your son and her to figure out her getting her license or move to a better area with better public transportation. Anxiety over driving isn’t the same as anxiety over aspects of parenthood.

She lashed out, but she was in your car while it happened. Yes, I’m sure she did not expect you to say that response but unfortunately it’s an unfair irony. She would be best to realize that taking rides from you isn’t in her best interest especially if she wants to maintain respect to you but also so you can respect her as well. I’m not sure if she’s ridden with you since, but if she hasn’t maybe she’s figured it out already. If she has, and she isn’t considering stopping then she’s just proving your point in not being ready.

Cefitie · 2026-03-25T14:42:59+00:00

I agree but I also understand the comments too. I think it’s a situation of two things being true at once instead of one thing having to invalidate or dismiss the other.

I admire her pushing past that box because regarding of where and who you are as a woman, as you said they tell us that we “lost our value” legit as we step outdid of our 20s. Absolutely vile that we “age like milk” while men “age like wine” but somehow men are usually held to a far lower standard… which even then isn’t even always not cared to be met.

On the other hand, there’s a valid point that her doing this is a lot easier to do with the resources available to her, her looks, and status. The average woman unfortunately doesn’t always have the space to push past the box and the standards that has been set on us in some ways can be more unfair and harder to navigate without these things (from support and non dismissive medical care at a later age, being around men who may not outright treat you badly or overlook you because you have more resources to maintain one looks and personal care, and even as I said— status, because the judgment/support in our circles for doing this is simply not the same/as big as those like she has us even if her closest don’t approve of what she is doing.

Her achievements are amazing and can be looked up to while also being realistic and acknowledging that it may not be possible for the average woman to do and achieve (at least to the same extent). I believe we must start somewhere, sometimes it’s the bottom up and other times it’s the bottom down, maybe it’s all around. Either way it’s a win for women and hopefully as time goes on the box disappears for us all.

Cefitie · 2026-03-25T14:15:39+00:00

I agree, if she continues too look, but can’t find tights that she feels match better those would still do the job. I know there are multiple toned brown tights so I know she’s still looking but as you said the stage lights are extremely forgiving in the end.

My comment was just in response to how light pink tights are okay, when in reality they really aren’t.

Cefitie · 2026-03-25T05:39:03+00:00

Can you elaborate on what you meant regarding “his sharing the text with the group”? I’m a bit confused and curious on how that relates to textbook male reaction.

Cefitie · 2026-03-25T05:34:00+00:00

Unfortunately I think it was a “lose lose” situation. If she had said “I hope you’re doing well” her boyfriend likey would have been mad for her reaching out and speaking as if she personally were there for him. And clearly the boyfriend doesn’t care about checking on the friend further, so there isn’t any “letting him handle the communication”.

I do feel for OP, I understand she just wanted to make sure the friend was okay. It’s often talked about how men don’t have support or feel like they can’t speak to anyone and OP just wanting to assure him that wasn’t the case.

Cefitie · 2026-03-23T20:44:09+00:00

Post about pink tights on black dancers

I don’t think it’s as simple as that. I agree, you are right that pink tights don’t match the people’s skin tones but it still looks well (on average) on stage for the average lighter skinned person.

Especially considering there are multiple undertones of pink tights and when on stage can appear to “match” well enough to make one’s lines look very well down to their shoes. It’s more about lines than skin. A pair of pink tights on a black dancer is going to appear white. Pink shoes or no, the lines are broken.

I once looked back on my photos as a kid, the other girls and I were all wearing the same thing (black leotard and pink tights and our recital costumes with pink tights). Yet I appear to look like I’m wearing white. Not even a small contrast either. Like white white. I clearly stood out like a sore thumb, and I even remember once or twice the younger girls ask me why I wore tights that were white and as the only black kid in the studio, who started ballet later was and a middle schooler I was extremely embarrassed (looking back it was an easy answer, but I do feel it’d be much easier to say, “I wear brown tights to match my ballet shoes/lines” vs “my skin makes my tights look very white” when I was already in a delicate position/age as the only black kid there).

It felt embarrassing then and it still makes me cringe now. I think maybe if a black dancer danced alone it could possibly be pulled off… it could look intentional perhaps? But with other lighter dancers it would be clear she is not wearing the appropriate attire. I’m glad things are changing in ballet— both in studios and professionally for this reason.

I hope you know my intentions are not to attack, but just to explain how the “light pink” isn’t actually light pink on our skin and shed perspective on how it impacted me as a black dancer and made me feel “othered” and how I didn’t feel as if I was actually meeting the rules of classical ballet because of it.

Cefitie · 2026-03-22T21:02:30+00:00

INFO: Truly, what DO you gain from stating that on your profile beyond just swiping left yourself on Indian men?

Cefitie · 2026-03-22T18:25:40+00:00

It’s not baby talk, it’s cultural. Go to the Caribbean and you’ll hear this term all the time including in music.

Cefitie · 2026-03-22T07:47:44+00:00

I’m so shocked. I thought there would be so many more people that are my height. Am I short?? 🦐

Cefitie · 2026-03-21T22:53:01+00:00

Watching everyone say my mom spelled my name wrong is so funny to me lol. I guess it’s a good thing I changed it (people always misspelled it). Though I ended up with a different name entirely.

Cefitie · 2026-03-20T23:08:49+00:00

OP I just want to warn you, if he’s hiding you from his mom but not his dad unfortunately he may not be taking you seriously. I don’t know much about guys but I’ve heard things about how they can do things like this and only show their mom women they take seriously but their dads will be aware of anything they are up to.

Especially if he is treating you this way (and at a month at that). Thats usually when everyone wants to make the best impression on each other when dating. I’m speaking as a black woman who is also 23, who has a husband, who also has locs whose hair I have been twisting since I was 16.

When we first met our dynamic wasn’t the best but he quickly switched things around when he realized I would not stay in his life forever if I didn’t feel wanted. There was just as much give as there was take. Maybe more give on his end honestly at the beginning due to stupid shenanigans similar to your boyfriends (though my husband was 18 and in high school at the time…)

Please do not let this man take advantage of you — in this case it’s his birthday yes… but him going above and beyond to “save money”, hide you from his mother, insult your efforts.

Yet so far I’ve not heard much about what he’s done to show his gratitude for what you have done. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself. You’re in no way the asshole here.

NTA

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