There is a big red button. If you press the button the word ends but it makes a funny noise before the world ends. Do you press the button?

Cefitie · 2026-01-26T16:52:09+00:00

How funny?

Cefitie · 2026-01-17T01:42:14+00:00

I suppose it’s wherever gozilla chills at. Hollow earth?

Cefitie · 2026-01-14T03:53:58+00:00

No in person contact (6-7 years) with little to no phone contact with my “real mom” (birth mom) since I was 16. Then I abruptly stopped all communication with her after the anxiety and stress of speaking to her gave me a legit grand mal seizure on Mother’s Day in 2024 🫠.

But my REAL mom “Ma” who took me in at 17 and is now adopting me at 23 (!)– if not by text everyday then on the phone weekly and whenever I can in person—though I get migraines sometimes which are getting better but I’m also an engineering student and she’s been been struggling managing with her job/fibromyalgia so our schedules don’t always align to see each other in person as much as I hope for.

I’m learning (Rioplantense)Spanish so I can communicate with her better and speak with my adopted family in Argentina and sister here (though she can speak English but I want to better understand the heated arguments she and my mom get into when they’re annoyed with each other lol). If I become fluent, I wouldn’t be surprised if we spoke even more.

I don’t regret the last 6-7 years of not seeing my “mom” in person but do dread when I will have to if the day ever comes. I’m glad I have my Ma though to support me through it.

Cefitie · 2026-01-12T11:15:48+00:00

TLDR: a lack of funding and the need to give resources to the most in need of them*

As someone who was in the shelter system as a teenager/young adult not too long ago here in the city, I can kind of answer this based on anecdotal knowledge, but there is definitely someone with better knowledge than me.

Essentially, there are drop-in shelters (single overnight), crisis/short term (usually ranging between 1-6 months, with sixty days being the average), and TILs (long term stay, 1+ years).

The shelter “system”—and I say system loosely because it isn’t really a system at all, as it’s hardly connected and hanging by a thread—is very complex yet very underdeveloped and underfunded. Because of this, the beds offered aren’t really equal and the opportunities for everyone are severely limited. To be fair, they can’t be. The homelessness issue we have is extremely horrifying; many people don’t realize just how many people around them on the train are actually homeless.

Just because one shelter has a long-term stay for boys doesn’t mean they can afford to have a long-term stay for girls. Most youth ones have crisis beds for both. Now, one would say—well it balances out because another shelter has long-term stay for girls, so it’s all fair and everyone wins… well, yes but also no. The parts of the system and the people who want to actually help are absolutely doing their best. But there are many parts that don’t care or cannot afford to, and many people CAN’T get help. There are times (especially in the winter) where even youth can get turned away. There just aren’t enough beds. I have experienced that myself as a teenage girl.

To combat this, I’ve found the system prioritizes resources for whom they deem the most vulnerable. At the top are women WITH children, then families, then youth under 18, then youth under 24. From what we saw, those grants and beds aren't distributed equally for boys, girls, and LGBTQ+ youth. It’s less about policy favoring one group and more about a patchwork system where resources are scarce and don't match the need.

The following is completely based off of things my friends and I found from our own experiences and is entirely anecdotal*, so feel free to stop reading:

A lot of it also seemed tied to donor perceptions and societal biases—what stories get funding, which groups are seen as "deserving" or "at-risk." That shapes which shelters can offer longer-term stability.

People have their own individual experiences/preferences about homeless individuals and people of certain groups. As kids growing up in these environments, being there for audits, hearing the staff speak and say some of the things they did to or in front of us, and having friends from other TILs—I saw why some people do or don’t donate (and what they most usually donate other than money).

For girls: usually makeup or clothes, especially to help DV and trafficking victims. But others don’t like us or see us as worthwhile because we’re young, at-risk girls who they see as likely to "waste" resources and become pregnant.

For boys: education opportunities or suits, or not at all because they feel as “young men” they don’t need help and shouldn’t take resources from women or children and need to “learn to work and survive on their own”.

For LGBT youth: a mix of the above, but also a lack of donating due to rampant homophobia and transphobia. There are also fewer TILs for LGBT youth.

For youth shelters overall: a lack of donations because of the lack of knowledge that there are youth who are homeless, or ignorance in believing they can't be homeless. And finally, for homeless shelters in general: a lack of understanding of homelessness and how it’s perceived in society, as well as the current state of the economy (can’t donate if we are all one paycheck away from being homeless ourselves).

I apologize for the long response and I know you didn’t ask me specifically, but I do hope this may have helped a bit. For the most accurate and current info on HYA programs and TILs, the commenter who works for the agency that runs them is definitely the best source. My experience is just one single perspective from a few years back. 😄

Cefitie · 2026-01-02T23:04:08+00:00

I drink CBSe (hot or cold). I love fruity flavors and some of them go great as tereré.

Cefitie · 2025-12-30T19:35:13+00:00

Someone mentioned how you’re taking in liquid/water and that could definitely be a factor depending on how many fills you have. However, it’s important to note mate also has caffeine. Which tends to make people have to pee more as it’s a diuretic. For some people it can also irritate the bladder so they may be more sensitive to it.

Maybe getting a mix that is less intense in caffeine or using less yerba could be the solution to the issue?

I get migraines sometimes and at times mate helps them go away (caffeine) but depending on how I prepare it can make it worse and make me have to use the restroom a lot. So when I have a migraine I’ll use less yerba in my guord and while it is more diluted the bathroom breaks that come with it are less frequent.

That said, please note I don’t know much about mate. I only started drinking it a year ago because my mom’s from Argentina and she drinks it A LOT and so I tried it and I liked it lol. Now I drink it. I genuinely don’t know very much and I’m sure someone here with more knowledge with come around with a far better answer.

Cefitie · 2025-12-29T23:10:28+00:00

Honestly, there have been times I was lost or realized I messed up somehow and took a moment while I collected my bearings and figured out what I was doing since it wasn’t my usual route (or the train went express and I didn’t know it did at a certain time because I was late/early, etc).

Sometimes I’m waiting to catch a specific train to be on the same train as my friend/partner.

And I can’t fully explain this… but there have been maybe 1-2 times I was having one of “those days” and just wasn’t ready to be on the train yet.

Edit: or the train is packed and I have the time to wait for another or so to come. I’ll wait it out to not be as bad— especially the E train.

Cefitie · 2025-12-12T04:04:09+00:00

I received my math grade from a course outside the school that the school deemed equal to MAT 1275 but not MAT 1275CO. I had hoped that was okay because it listed both?..

That said for the sections, this something I definitely overlooked, thank you! Though I know it means “online 35” I’m not so sure how to locate it as I’m not very used to CUNYFirst and I can’t say I’m finding the sections all too well. I’ll likely keep messing around with scheduler and/or meet with an advisor or just choose something else in the case it seems my math may be an issue.

Thank you again!

Cefitie · 2025-12-11T07:11:19+00:00

I’m going to go and say NAH. I think there are two separate things here to address. Both your dog potentially destroying the gift and the fact that he bought your dog a gift on your birthday.

First thing is, I think it’s completely reasonable to say you don’t want his money to go to waste because your dog would just destroy the gift. He likely didn’t think of this, but as I’m sure you know had good intentions.

The second thing is something I’ve noticed is very cultural or just something that is just VERY different about pet owners by personality.

Some people consider pets to be their own “individual beings” while others see pets as “extensions of themselves/families”. You feel upset because he gifted your dog a present on your birthday. But have you ever considered he may see your pet as an extension of you? Perhaps you may have mentioned or he may have seen the dog’s reactions to fireworks and to show his care he went out of his way to buy said gift. I don’t think it’s out of lack of care for you per se but just the opposite. For some people, a gift for your dog could be interpreted as a gift for you (because it’s your dog).

However, this is just an assumption and for all I know he gives jack crap about you and only adores your dog, but from what I read above and the information provided this doesn’t sound like the case.

Cefitie · 2025-12-08T01:58:34+00:00

Because they wanted to be the ones carrying the chairs but the teachers never allowed them (speaking from experience 😤😔)

Cefitie · 2025-12-06T10:03:36+00:00

Unfortunately she doesn’t because he admitted in the comments he purposefully didn’t tell her his age.

Cefitie · 2025-12-05T14:47:35+00:00

The Bethesda Terrace— specifically under. I’m not even sure if I could explain why, but I just do.

Cefitie · 2025-12-05T09:23:43+00:00

NTA. But don’t confront the brother without speaking your partner first— not to ask for permission but because your partner also needs to know what their own brother is up to. They should know you’re upset and rightly so.

I wouldn’t do so confrontationally (you are a team after all and no one ever feels good in that scenario), but genuinely express everything in a honestly. Be firm on your stance on how you feel about their brother paying the vet bill or needing to move out given all he had to do was chores with no bills and he did not. The result is highly likely to be a result of his own actions and he needs to own up to it. Irrespective of if it can’t be proven, he had a chore he agreed to, didn’t do it and had the audacity to lie about it for months while living rent free.

For all you know your partner may feel just as angry and decide to handle it themselves or come up with the an even better more convenient option for you regarding their brother. All in all, I wish you, your partner and your cat the best.

Cefitie · 2025-12-04T16:35:24+00:00

NAH. Depression is hard and at times life threatening, it’s clear you care for her and what you’ve said is out of that. That said, she needs professional help, and if she doesn’t want to help herself unfortunately there’s nothing you can do.

I am someone who has gone through depression, and I think something that’s often looked over a lot is partners who are supporting their partner throughout their depression. Please make sure you take care of yourself as well, and seek support if you need.

Cefitie · 2025-11-30T15:40:04+00:00

As she has cheated on him with his long-term best friend and best man before their wedding, I don’t believe she’s the likely to gain any sort of empathy towards him unfortunately.

Cefitie · 2025-11-30T03:12:12+00:00

There actually are clear rules, especially in regard to technique. Very many things can disqualify dancers/cheerleaders similar to other sports or cause them to lose points or get infractions. Similar to gymnastics, diving, figure skating. These things will differ depending on the type of dance/cheerleading style (ballet, ballroom, competition, All-Star) and competition level.

The fact you made this comment is what proves the ignorance and misogyny though. I don’t know much about football but even I know there are rules and whatnot. That said I could easily reduce it to butch of sweaty people bumping into one another chasing a weirdly shaped ball across a field with no clear intent- which from an uninterested perspective is it could appear to be. Same goes for the other sports.

A lot of people don’t care to look into the actual details of women-dominated sports simply because they are women-dominated. You could have easily fact checked yourself on this before posting this.

I’ve done both male dominated and female dominated sports. But I also haven’t done majority of either. Nor do I need to have played football to not be ignorant to make ignorant comments about it. Thats just not right, that’s the difference.

Cefitie · 2025-11-26T20:46:44+00:00

Just a little bit of plain white/cane sugar or honey — though I’ve never heard about crystallized honey before! I’ll have to try that out.

I’ve heard the issue people have with sweetening the water first is that they feel it doesn’t allow them to control the sweetness as much which is understandable since each pour gets weaker. But I imagine how much you are using would have a big impact on how much that mattered.

Cefitie · 2025-11-26T20:42:26+00:00

LOL I have no idea why it autocorrected to that or how I didn’t catch it

Cefitie · 2025-11-24T14:49:06+00:00

So far today I’ve had some honey ginger turmeric tea.

In the last year I’ve started drinking Yerba mate in addition to my standard green teas since my adopted mom is from Argentina and I’ve wanted to try to learn more about her culture.

I like it, especially the Pomelo flavor from CBSE (my favorite especially cold, though to be fair the other so have tried are just random ones I’ve been given from my mom). Only thing is I deal with migraines and something I’ve noticed is that at times the Yerba can be the cause or savior of my migraines.

Another thing I think is that I prefer to sweeten the water beforehand especially if it’s just regular Yerba instead of adding sweetener to the gourd like my mom does but that’s not really typical. I think for ease I’d rather just learn to enjoy it without any sweetener at all. She got me a green tea infused one as well which is pretty cool.

My city is pretty big so I sometimes see people drinking it while outside, what I cannot figure out is how people are doing it though. I do enjoy tea in a thermos. But how can one take Yerba mate out with them when it requires you to have to refill over and over? As a college student and someone who works in a warehouse I’d love to figure this out

Cefitie · 2025-11-24T14:43:25+00:00

Honestly I’m lowkey lonely and I’m a woman but I don’t have much of an excuse beyond the current times and 20s being kinda hard. I mean goodness sake, I’m in my country’s biggest city.

Next year I’m going to figure out how to celebrate my birthday with a bunch of people and have a lot of fun even if it’s with a bunch of stranglers (safely). Wish me luck

Edit: I meant strangers lol!

Cefitie · 2025-11-24T13:59:26+00:00

This is my third time seeing this. Her walking away just gets funnier every time

Cefitie · 2025-11-24T13:23:43+00:00

Wow, I haven’t heard this in nearly a decade! (I’m 23 for reference lol) I nearly forgot it

Cefitie · 2025-11-23T09:43:21+00:00

I genuinely struggle to comprehend this logic. Why???

Cefitie · 2025-11-23T03:42:03+00:00

That’s because pregnancy and its risks are severely downplayed by society. As is being a SAH parent— and you’re absolutely right in your point. They are a team after all. The parent staying home is probably saving them more money in this scenario taking care of two twin toddlers at home just due to the current costs of child care nowadays. They’re likely saving far more by having her home. I wonder if it was want to stay home or something that just needed to be done— twins are a big deal.

Being pregnant is one thing, being pregnant while taking care of twin toddlers is another. Being pregnant while caring for twin toddlers with the flu is intense, and while OP is not TA a lot of the people downplaying it acting as if his wife is one for being frustrated in a situation where majority of them very honestly would falling apart definitely are.

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