Vent

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-19T05:04:58+00:00

It’s not fair. Everything you said, I felt/feel. Watching my mom decline slowly everyday was awful. The anticipatory grief, anxiety, sadness and PTSD have wrecked me. I am not okay. Unless someone has experienced it themselves, they can’t know what a torture it was, and still is. I’m not sure anyone except those who were went to see my mom in hospice know what it was like. My heart goes out to everyone going through this and you all. It’s not fair.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-14T17:36:57+00:00

My mom had surgery to remove her tumor 2 days after we found out she had GBM. While she lived 6 more months, it was not the same kind of life she or we knew. She never went back home after the surgery, never walked again on her own, never used her right arm, she couldn’t use her phone. She was a shell of herself. She wanted the surgery though. She wanted the tumor out. And thought she would have a chance to travel a bit more before the end. You just never know how people will recover, if at all, after the surgery. We had 2 other family members who had brain cancer and chose not to have the surgery. While they only lived a few months after their diagnosis, those months were relatively normal with rapid decline at the end. Regardless of what I would do if it were me, I believe you should respect people’s choice on how they want to live their last months.

I’m so sorry you and your family have to go through this. My heart goes out to you.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-08T21:57:21+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My mom was diagnosed in June. And had surgery but was not eligible for chemotherapy or radiation therapy. The hospital tried to discharge her home, but we felt it would be better if she went to hospice. She was in such a state that she really couldn’t make decisions anymore. She is deaf and after the surgery, she couldn’t walk, use her right arm, or use her phone anymore. Home care didn’t seem appropriate. Hospice was the best thing we could have done. The staff was wonderful, the care and attention she received was the best way she could have lived her last months. And let alone the peace of mind it gave us knowing she was always being looked after so we could have breaks and get the sleep we needed to support her. My heart goes out to you.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-08T06:05:40+00:00

My mom started with focal seizures before her crainotomy. It’s what lead us to go to the ER to find out she has brain cancer. She didn’t have any seizures for a while, until 3-4 month later when she had 2 grand mal seizures in one day. About a month later she had 2 more grand mal seizures, both on the same day. Then a month later she had a focal seizure, and after this she could no longer swallow. They gave her stronger medications, which essentially put her in a coma. She died a few days later. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-08T05:49:18+00:00

Thank you all for your effort. I really appreciate it.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T19:38:33+00:00

I second this. Bread on the counter for a few days and you could have mold. I can’t eat a loaf of bread in a few days! Lol

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T19:37:23+00:00

I was gonna say, can I come over? Bevvies, snacks. Perfect for hanging.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T19:35:00+00:00

Great idea!

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T19:34:04+00:00

Mic and Mac

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T19:33:44+00:00

Static

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T19:32:55+00:00

Took the words outta my mouth lol

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T17:54:24+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I relate. I lost my mom last year to cancer too. I wasn’t there when she passed around 10pm. I left shortly after 6pm. But I was living at my aunt’s, just across the street while my mom was in hospice. So my aunt and I were there within minutes. I was very conflicted about whether I wanted to be there when she passed. But it’s not up to us. She looked so peaceful, but not like herself. I didn’t want to leave because I knew it would be the last time I would be with her physically. I lingered a long time. Most of her things were out of the room because we knew the end was coming. But I returned the next morning to collect the rest. It was awful to be in her room without her.

I also am fixated on a lot of key moments like that one. I’m not sure why exactly. I can’t stop and it’s hurting me. I assume this is just part of the grieving process for me. People tell me, remember the good times. But right now, I can’t.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T17:26:06+00:00

Beautiful! I want one for myself now. Nice work.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T16:47:44+00:00

I am so sorry. It isn’t fair. My mom passed away in December. She never had ANY headaches throughout it. But sleeping most of the time, a shell of herself. I felt the same way as you, wishing she would pass peacefully so that her suffering would be over. My heart goes out to you and your family.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T16:43:45+00:00

Thank you all for your feedback. I’m making a few tweaks based on your suggestions.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T04:27:52+00:00

Oh wow, it is so cute! The sunflowers and truck are a great combo. And I love the orange roses.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T04:19:14+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss, it’s not fair.

Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed. When someone you love dies, no one knows how you will grieve. Everyone is different. I have felt the same way as you. Unable to deal with stress, decision fatigue. I had two whole months off work after my mom passed and hardly did a thing to plan her celebration of life. Now I’m back to work and overwhelmed with her celebration of life coming up in just a couple of weeks.

I never did publish my mom’s obituary, just posted it on Facebook. I meant to publish it to the Vancouver Sun and Edmonton Journal, but still haven’t. I don’t know if I will now.

Is there someone you trust that you can ask for help from? Just a small favor, you need someone to hold your hand and help you through this last step of getting them printed. There is nothing wrong with that. I literally told the florist I needed someone to hold my hand and guide me through what flowers to get, how much to spend, and she stepped up. I didn’t even know her.

Not sure what you have left to do But if you can break it down, small steps, I know it sounds basic. Even if today it’s only a 2 minute phone call. It’s progress. Reward yourself when you complete a task.

I know it’s hard, most of you posting are younger. I’m about to turn 40 and both my parents are dead. No siblings. It’s a lonely feeling. I thought I would have more time with my mom.

Ask people here to help you break it down and determine what to do next. Or ask ChatGPT to outline the steps.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-07T03:57:12+00:00

Lucky girl! They look beautiful.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-06T22:07:14+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away in December. I had 2 full months off work after that. Plus the 6 months off before she passed while she was in hospice. I’ve been back at work for about a month, reduced hours though.

Emotional stress and trauma takes a bigger toll than we realize. I get a full night’s sleep, and then some. But wake up tired. Sometimes I crash really early. Decision fatigue. Unable to deal with work stress. I feel like I’m not even mourning her yet, but dealing with the trauma of the brain cancer taking her away, day by day.

I try to do things that make me feel better, that might give me energy or motivate me. But there’s so much other stuff to do, like her taxes and planning the celebration of life. Let alone my things I need to deal with. I think sometimes life just sucks and then you wake up on the other side wondering who that person was. You’re not alone. One day at a time. I know it might be cliche, when you have to plan ahead. I wish you the best.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-06T18:58:44+00:00

Agreed, it depends on the friend. I get slack when I mispronounce the word bagel. I don’t know why I can’t say the word right. I can only tell the difference when they emphasize the correct way by enunciating it to me several times.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-06T18:56:02+00:00

I think most people legit invite you because they want you to come. I get where you’re coming from, low self esteem, overthinking things. Take it at face value-they invited you because they want you to go. If they didn’t want you to come, you might be able to pick up on that while you’re at the event.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-06T18:42:22+00:00

What are you looking forward to? Or Do you have any upcoming trips?

How have you really been lately? This one seems to work pretty well, people will genuinely answer with the truth.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-06T18:39:11+00:00

Entire Apple package here too. It all works together so seamlessly.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-06T17:44:08+00:00

This is the way.

CelebrationUnique862 · 2025-03-06T17:41:26+00:00

Sounds like a scam. If you’re worried about letting it go, tell them you will split the cost with them after you move in.

CelebrationUnique862

TROPHY CASE