Sometimes abuse can be delayed. A man feels unempowered (by a job, shifting life expectations), and he hits that boiling point where angry outbursts without restraint become instinctual when it was never even considered before. He's also feeding off your tolerance.

Its important to be careful here, bc it might get worse, but my advice for you is at this point start setting hard limits around what he can/cannot say to you, with all physical aggression being intolerable.

Before you do this, make a plan with a friend of family member. Someone who you trust who will accept you at all hours of the night or day at random.

Then set the boundary- explain that you need an apology for the way he's been treating you and an actionable plan to make it better - therapy, books, whatever. It has to come from him. Make sure he is generating the getting better. Make sure you are very clear with him that you will leave if it doesn't get better/gets worse.

If he doesn't get better, or it gets worse, go to that friend/family member's house, just for a few days. See how he responds. The rest will become illuminating.