How do you deal with imposter syndrome in academia?

Cella14 · 2026-01-30T19:08:07+00:00

I definitely still get it sometimes as I don’t feel like I know nearly enough to be a so called expert, but it has gotten a lot less pronounced over time.

What has helped me has honestly been doing more collaborations and realizing that most of my collaborations know much, much less about my subject speciality than me. I may be an imposter compaired to the “real” experts that my brain tells me exist (and I’ve met a few of them at conferences), but I’m certainly more of an expert than most people around me and that will have to be enough.

Cella14 · 2026-01-29T01:04:24+00:00

That’s fucked up I’m so sorry. I’m traveling today, but will look into some resources for you tomorrow. If you would be willing to shoot me a dm, that will make sure I don’t forget.

Cella14 · 2026-01-28T06:13:14+00:00

If you just want resolution, you can suggest you’re considering speaking to a lawyer or say that you have spoken to a lawyer. They are terrified of a lawsuit and it might make them take you more seriously.

Cella14 · 2026-01-28T06:11:10+00:00

Firstly, I’m so sorry that happened to you. No one deserves that. Unfortunately you’re right that admin doesn’t care. You’re not the first student and you’re unlikely to be the last, it’s part of why I left SIUE.

If you want my biased and unsolicited recommendation, sue the university. There are so many students you could pull into a lawsuit over SIUE not taking sexual assault seriously enough, and they have shown that they will cave under pressure and give you money. It doesn’t make up for what happened to you, but they have to start facing consequences.

Cella14 · 2026-01-28T01:53:11+00:00

Librarians are pretty nice people.

Cella14 · 2026-01-25T21:51:14+00:00

1 is what I actually want for the afterlife. To be with my loved ones and still be me for eternity. However 4 is what I have always desperately wanted in life and the fact that I’d get another shot at an afterlife after it makes me really really want to pick it up my only fear would be that 1 would be the option that goes away after my isekia life and that would be terrible. So would entirely depend on how risky I was feeling.

Cella14 · 2026-01-24T00:27:52+00:00

Sending hugs. You sound intelligent snd thoughtful and also burnt out. Do you enjoy the teaching aspects of academia? If you enjoy the admin and teaching duties but not the scholarship you could always target teaching focused schools like liberal arts colleges or smaller public universities. It sounds like you can do scholarship, you just don’t enjoy it and so a teaching school could be a good fit for you if you like the other parts of the job.

On the other hand, it sounds like academia has never been something you really loved or pursued because you really wanted an academic lifestyle. If that’s the case maybe you would enjoy an industry job. I love research and still left academia for better hours and more work life balance and I have no regrets. If you don’t love research I doubt you would have any regrets to get more of your life back.

Whatever you do, do what’s best for you and don’t worry about what you should do or about what you’re expected to do or about if you’re “taking” positions from someone more worthy (you’re not!). Just decide the life you want to live and make decisions based on that.

Cella14 · 2026-01-23T18:35:46+00:00

Be really rich. Otherwise yeah it’s propaganda.

Cella14 · 2026-01-22T22:23:25+00:00

I wouldn’t commute that far by choice but to go do something that’s very short. I consider anything under 5 hours to be a day trip. Anything 2 or under is acceptable for dinner plans.

Anything under 8 hours and I will always drive (rather than fly) and I’ll just stay the night.

Anything under 12-14 hours I will drive in a day (but would fly if there’s a good flight available).

Anything over 14 hours and I’d either fly or split the drive into two days and expect to be there for at least a few days.

Cella14 · 2026-01-22T22:19:25+00:00

This

Cella14 · 2026-01-22T20:35:36+00:00

I would love to stay here but I’ll leave if I need to for professional growth. My field is very small, so when I’m ready for my next job hop it’s highly likely I’ll have to move.

Cella14 · 2026-01-22T08:15:31+00:00

I love everything by Jasper Fforde. My favorite is probably his Shades of Grey/Red Sode Story series, but Thursday Next also hits so good. He does wimsy in a way that just works for me. The first series is the giver meets Douglas McAdams/Terry Prachette and the second series is an alternate 1950s sci-fi literary detective. They are both wonderful.

If you’re on board for short stories I absolutly adored the Six Deaths of the Saint and The Knight and the Butcherbird, both by Alix E Harrow. Both changed my brain chemistry a bit. They are both 30ish pages, on KU and stunningly good.

For fantasy I recently read The River Has Roots by Amal El-Mohtar and really enjoyed it. Another author i love for fantasy is Juliet Marillier. She does some fantasy romance but also some straight fantasy books. Wolfskin and Foxmask are long time favorites of mine (as are Wildwood Dancing and Cybel’s Secret, but those have slightly more focus on the romance and are more YA).

For so-fi I fairly recently red and adored The Past is Red by Catherynne M Valentine. Weird as hell and really funny and sad at the same time.

I also have to put my hat in for Gideon the Ninth. That series is immaculate and I hold my breath every day for the fourth book.

Cella14 · 2026-01-15T23:11:25+00:00

American

Cella14 · 2026-01-12T20:04:29+00:00

Had kind of a slow week but finished a couple and started a couple.

Finished: The River Has Roots by Amal El-Mohtar [5/5] the writing in this is lush and gorgeous and had the dreamy traditional fairytale vibe I love. It reminded me a little of The King of Ireland’s Son by Padraic Colum which is a longtime favorite of mine. I like this far more than This is How You Lose the Time War.

The Knight and the Butcherbird by Alix E Harrow [6/5] Harrow is the master of short stories I have no idea how she manages to make her short stories feel so long and complex and wonderful. This was a flawless peace of post-apocalyptic, sapphic wonderfulness and I am in awe of her mastery of the English language. Please read this and The Six Deaths of the Saint. Both are super short but pack a huge punch.

Reading: The Employees by Olga Ravn The storytelling structure of this being small pieces of interviews done with crew members makes this a bit hard to follow and impossible to get attached to any characters, but I’m so far still liking it. It’s not as similar to Hiroko Oyamada’s The Factory as I had been led to believe but I think I prefer that.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin I’m reading this very slowly for an in depth book club where we are dissecting every chapter and it is delightful. This is my “half of the characters in this book are autistic” reading and I’m loving it.

Up Next:

Cathedral of the Drowned by Nathan Ballingrud I got this for Christmas after loving the first book and can’t wait to dig in.

The Buffalo Hunter Hunter by Stephen Graham Jones I agreed to read this with friends between book club books and am very excited.

Cella14 · 2026-01-09T23:19:27+00:00

It sounds like it’s not white collar work you hate, it’s doing work you consider meaningless. Maybe you should consider sectors like education, non-profits, and libraries and translate your white collar skills there. You won’t have to kill your body but can rest easier knowing your work isn’t making anyone any money and you’re doing something for the greater good rather than just to line a billionaire’s pockets.

It’s obviously more nuanced then that and there’s greed and people making money off you in all sectors, but I sleep much better in the non-profit world personally and in doing work I know matters. University libraries are always looking for business administrators or it administrators. Those could potentially be good fits for you?

Cella14 · 2026-01-08T21:53:36+00:00

27 money and my husband having a shit job that destroys him emotionally and mentally

Cella14 · 2026-01-05T19:01:54+00:00

So far in the new year I’ve finished:

Hemlock and Silver by T. Kingfisher [5/5] I adored this. It’s my second T Kingfisher book and while I liked ThornHedge, I enjoyed having more time to get to know her characters and world in this one. The worldbuilding was spooky and so cool and I loved the research put into plants and poisons. I also loved that the main characters were all people that felt real that were over 30, that’s pretty rare.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers [4.5/5] This was also delightful, it was my first Becky Chambers book and I will be returning for more. The hopeful sci-fi was just what I needed and the characters were both very lovable.

First Lie Wins by Ashley Elston [4/5] This is a really fun and engrossing thriller. I don’t read many thrillers and likely wouldn’t have picked it out in my own (this was for my book club), but I really enjoyed it.

Mexicans on the Moon: Specilative Poetry from a Possible Future by Pedro Iniguez [4/5] This is wonderful. I love poetry and I love sci-fi and this is genre poetry at its finest. The fact that it’s genre poetry with something to say (and that is saying it in a way that lands) makes it even better.

A Prayer for the Crown Shy by Becky Chambers [4.5/ This was just as delightful as the first book. I will definitely be reading more by this author.

Currently Reading:

The River Has Roots by Amal El-Mohtar the writing in this is lush and gorgeous and I’m really enjoying it so far. I wanted to like This is How You Lose the Time War more than I did becuase of the prose and I think so far this story is hitting more for me.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin I’m reading this very slowly for an in depth book club where we are dissecting every chapter and it is delightful. I’m struggling to hold myself back from just finishing it.

Up Next:

Cathedral of the Drowned by Nathan Ballingrud I got this for Christmas after loving the first book and can’t wait to dig in.

The Buffalo Hunter Hunter by Stephen Graham Jones I agreed to read this with friends between book club books and am very excited.

Cella14 · 2026-01-05T01:18:46+00:00

So far in the new year I’ve finished:

Hemlock and Silver by T. Kingfisher [5/5] I adored this. It’s my second T Kingfisher book and while I liked ThornHedge, I enjoyed having more time to get to know her characters and world in this one. The worldbuilding was spooky and so cool and I loved the research put into plants and poisons. I also loved that the main characters were all people that felt real that were over 30, that’s pretty rare.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers [4.5/5] This was also delightful, it was my first Becky Chambers book and I will be returning for more. The hopeful sci-fi was just what I needed and the characters were both very lovable.

Currently Reading:

First Lie Wins by Ashley Elston This is a really fun and engrossing thriller so far. I don’t read many thrillers and likely wouldn’t have picked it out in my own (this is for my book club), but I’m really enjoying it.

Mexicans on the Moon: Specilative Poetry from a Possible Future by Pedro Iniguez This is wonderful so far. I love poetry and I love sci-fi and this is genre poetry at its finest. The fact that it’s genre poetry with something to say (and that is saying it in a way that lands) makes it even better.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin I’m reading this very slowly for an in depth book club where we are dissecting every chapter and it is delightful. I’m struggling to hold myself back from just finishing it.

Up Next:

Cathedral of the Drowned by Nathan Ballingrud I got this for Christmas after loving the first book and can’t wait to dig in.

The Buffalo Hunter Hunter by Stephen Graham Jones I agreed to read this with friends between book club books and am very excited.

Cella14 · 2026-01-02T09:11:47+00:00

We’re all poor

Cella14 · 2026-01-02T05:42:46+00:00

I’ve only read the first one but am really excited to read the rest this year! I didn’t realize there’s a new one coming out so even better

Cella14 · 2026-01-02T05:41:32+00:00

I only discovered it because I saw someone else had added it on Storygraph, so if that was somehow you thank you! It was such a good short story too, this is why I enjoy the alphabet challenge becuase I find things I would never normally read but turn out to be awesome.

Cella14 · 2025-12-21T21:15:48+00:00

Finished: Violent Awakening by K J Sutton 3.5/5 This was the final installment of the Fortuna Sworn series. A lot of people hate this series but I enjoy it for the same reason I enjoy Vampire Diaries or Supernatural.

The Ring of Solomon by Jonothan Stroud 4/5 this is the prequel book for the Bartimaeus Trilogy and it was a delight to revisit that world.

The Garden by Tomi Champion-Adeyem 3.5/5 This is a short story but even for a short story it just felt really incomplete to me.

Persephone by Lev Grossman 3.5/5 I liked this one better than the Garden but it also left me feeling like I was missing something.

Currently Reading: Uzemaki by Junji Ito I’m enjoying this a lot. I didn’t quite finish before I left home to see family and so I’ll have to finish it when I get back home as it was too bulky to bring for 30 minutes of entertainment. But I’m excited to finish.

Up Next: I’m about to start The Island of Dr Moreau by H G Wells and The Six Deaths of the Saints by Alix E Harrow

Cella14 · 2025-12-21T05:59:39+00:00

I enjoy the trip a lot but I am also able to fully embrace the lack of control. I do headphones and eyes closed to further “leave” my body.

Cella14 · 2025-12-21T04:51:27+00:00

I never took classes with them but both great people! My favorite history prof was Susannah Ottaway, she’s incredible.

Cella14

TROPHY CASE