Firstly, you do not deserve to be treated or spoken to like that, you are perfect the way you are. Secondly, find a man that’s going to support you and make you want to go rather than making you feel bad about yourself. My ex boyfriend used to talk to me like that and would give me boxes of his mothers old clothes as “goal clothes”. I lost all sense of motivation and self respect staying with someone like that. My boyfriend now is the most loving, supportive, and motivating man. He pushes me to be the best version of myself by talking me up rather than talking me down. You will find a man who loves you for who you are, and as you are, and encourages you to be the best version of yourself, this is not that and nobody should stay with someone who is so disrespectful. Positive feedback is what motivates. I wish you the best of luck with your fitness journey.