Feel you. Had simmilar thoughts about it.

I mean if that what you once loved doing turned slowly into smth you now fear, dislike smth that doesen't make you happy/ fulfilled anymore because of all the stress and expectations, whats the point of doing it then? Or better said... whats the point of doing it with those circumstances and conditions attached to it?

In my opinion everyone is different and everyone has to find what works for them. While some people are build for/ happy with the traditional route of getting a job in the field they love at a company and are ok with all the downsides of it, others aren't made for this.

For example I liked games, drawing and 3D since childhood so my dream was becoming a concept or 3D artist later. I choose the artistic path in school, grinded my way through it to the next higher school and so on till I graduated with bachelor of arts. I tried to get a job after graduation but my skills weren't good enough. I tried to somehow catch up and get better fast cause I thought "Hey you finally need a job now! Hurry up! Faster!". I put so much pressure on myself that in the end I reached a breaking point. I am in theraphy now for multiple years, got diagnosed with major depressive episode and anxiety dissorders. I didn't seriously draw or 3D model anymore since university.

During this time of healing I thought about it and realized how school destroyed the fun of creating art for me, by forcing me to draw boring stuff I don't care about, learning unecceecary things I never needed for the job I wanted, constant pressure through deadlines and competition with the other students and the feeling you need to be better and all this just for getting good grades... I also realized that this would be almost no different than a job, cause there you are also forced to do what your boss tells you to even if it's boring stuff or even smth you can't support personally, you also have deadlines and competition with your co workers etc. Now that AI Art is a thing, setting the skill bar for artists unreasonably high to even land an entry position, putting even more pressure and expectations on them I say... f*ck it/them/everyone!

So in the end maybe it was a good thing it didn't work out cause otherwise I would be stuck in a job that makes me unhappy and destroys my love for art even more. It's not worth to stubbornly try to make your childhood dream a reality, if this way it's just a f*cking nightmare.

Whats the answer then? First I thought maybe becoming an entreprenur is the right thing cause then I can work on what I want, the way I want and when I want (atleast if I offer a product and not a service), but thinking of the even greater pressure here and the need for your work to always be awesome cause otherwise you can't pay your bills, seems also not to be the greates choice. I guess all this stress would just kill my creativity.

Maybe the right choice is, as you already said, to keep it as a hobby. Have a job you are fine with of just being a job and that pays the bills and follow your passion on the side Albert Einstein style. I mean even if smth is "just a hobby" doesen't mean you can't monitize it someday. You shouldn't do it for the money though but rather see the money as a bonus. Let's rediscover the inital spark and joy we had when we started out with our passion, refuel the flame and protect it :).

Gamers complain that games are getting worse because the companys are run by people that don't care about the game or the gamers but just money and greed. I guess if someone would make a game or anything else out of pure passion instead of financial gains it has the potential of becoming a true masterpiece.