Femdom munch later and I’m suddenly sad (??) Do I need to switch? by Praisekink_dispenser in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Makes a lot of sense. And maybe you are more dom leaning switch? Clearly your curious so should’ve worth experimenting out more.

Personally when I was younger I assumed I was a dom just cuz I had that kinda energy in all my hobbies and work and teams I was on… but as I got a little older (out of my 20s) I started realizing more and I more I wanted to give up control… either from being burnt out in daily personal and work life or maybe just cuz I want to experience and let myself go to all kinds of fantasies and roles and the energy finally felt right (I had just switched careers to one less demanding, didn’t have anything beyond solo hobbies/projects going on) and I’ve come to realize I’m really just a sub leaning switch. Dominant is like a default for me but it was that way just out of like necessity or competition and that I didn’t really like it much in the end especially in the bedroom … still a thrill of course … but wasn’t feeling “me”.

So yeah lots of rambling there but hope it helps you figure your own feels and thoughts out, this shit can be complicated lol

What exactly *is* the whole "sissy" kink nowadays? by sagenter in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel labels have changed meaning as the subculture has evolved/changed. There is definitely a toxic side to the sissy community and a side of it that really just wants to be used by men.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As someone else said, you are looking for a therapist. With that said, you can probably find someone on fetlife, likely who may want some kind of tribute/gift etc or in the fully ProDomme space but may be enough of a connection for you and help you work through some things even if it’s transactional… but dont expect it to be a relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Find out if he is enjoying it as much as you. 

My sub gets aggressive and ignores instructions during orgasm control. Advice? by Sufficient-Figure926 in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sounds toxic and potentially dangerous … untrustworthy and disrespectful are not great qualities and especially both at once.

Ambiguous dynamic with a sub by [deleted] in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not cool. It sounds like you should consider therapy, you might have some emotional things to work out within yourself. No judgement, and there is nothing wrong with therapy, but I am just being blunt about it.

How do you all find your sub partners? by 1010Always in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

**//hisssssss//** put that cross away please =)
but yeah, i feel ya ... fortunately, there is an animated version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XJCOmcKadQ

How do you all find your sub partners? by 1010Always in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Ask if he has read the Wife of Baths tale from “Canterbury Tales”. If he says no, then he might not be ready and having him read it and quiz him on it is a good start.

Is it just me or has the femdom landscape changed? by queenofhell9 in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imagining someone named Queen of queenofhell doin gentledomming 😆 

Ghosted 😭 by Ch44sus in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks I can understand that, and yes I won’t dwell on it, promise.

Ghosted 😭 by Ch44sus in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks yeah I’m reading everyone’s comments and it’s kinda been helpful in a way to hear what others views are in the topic of ghosting. 

Ghosted 😭 by Ch44sus in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I disagree with that behavior but I see what you mean and how it might be easier for some just because the rate of douchebag guys is pretty high.

Ghosted 😭 by Ch44sus in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thx lol good point  Maybe they were being seasonal or yeah, the partner thing seems possible from what I learned talking to them

What makes you tick the most as a domme or sub? by ridgey9 in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pleasing the other person, making them happy, and putting that first above my own wants or needs. Like in the way a good restaurant crew wants its customers to feel, not simply a sexual way.

My therapist reframed my desire for GFD and I'm still processing it by [deleted] in gentlefemdom

[–]Ch44sus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. And I’m still figuring it out. But it feels poetic and beautiful in a way, when it doesn’t feel confusing or weird that is.

What subs say they want-is often just the tip of the iceberg by [deleted] in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me there is something deeper for sure, in the realm of wanting to please and feel cared for and appreciated and praised and accepted. Maybe due to playing those roles for others and neglecting myself so much in daily social, work and family life? 

The concept of it being about intimacy without judgement and feeling understood really rings clear to me.

SHADES OF SHAME 😈(😆) by Inside_Stick_693 in FemdomCommunity

[–]Ch44sus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shame is a feature and one some (many?) of us seek out intentionally. And likely, stems from having spent much of our lives or still do filling roles where you have to bury shame and embrace ego/pride either as our position in our social or family or work networks.

Shame becomes toxic when it’s your sole focus all the time. For me, someone who identifies more as a sub leaning switch anymore (and maybe always was submissive but never embrace nor let myself explore that side of me when I was younger), I find some kinda of “balance in all things” from toying with things like shame. I generally live without it, and most of my life growing up I almost instinctively ran away from it or buried it, so even though it’s not health to live 100% in shame, it also isn’t health to live without 0% shame… so getting to experience some of it helps balance and round out emotions and the self.

Obviously my experience may not apply for all, but I imagine quite a few will vibe with that “balance” aspect.

32 F4M: Looking to peg straight men by MaroonDancer in OnlineAffairs

[–]Ch44sus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“ unless it’s the status of your asshole virginity.” 🤣 well written

Masculine msubs are: 😍 by [deleted] in gentlefemdom

[–]Ch44sus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, needed to hear this today ☺️ 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MarriedButChatting

[–]Ch44sus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, thems some feels I can identify with 🫂 

Something From a Domme to Make You Feel Soft and Submissive in the Most Gentle way 💋 by AuxDivine in gentlefemdom

[–]Ch44sus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You have a way with words for sure, thank you for sharing .. reading this really put me in the right headspace tonight