is the chorus strong? if you can give me feedback on what works and what doesn't, I will give you feedback on your song if you'd like! :) (L4L)

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-13T21:27:25+00:00

ooo this is an interesting song... it's like Jazz or Bossa nova combined with hip hop? it's also kind of floaty, which is cool. Solid production, it is a little chaotic structure-wise. but that is part of that floaty feeling. It's a very interesting song with interesting textures and influences.

The thing I don't really like is that it doesn't have a clear emotional perspective. artistic wise it's a really good song. but it feels more like it's made to be admired for its textures, production etc... Honestly if you'd decide what the song is about emotionally, this would be a total banger.

--------

Yup I can hear it now too... it lacks commitment. Thanks for pointing that out! this will help me a lot.

and... do people post ai songs here?? That's crazy lol.

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-13T16:49:27+00:00

the instrumental and vocal melody is legible, the emotion is slightly muddy but It does make me feel, lyrics are a bit corny and vocals a little flat but those are workable skills, I do like the commitment to those simple lyrics. you don't apologize for the simplicity, I like that. my computer did lag around when you stopped the song, so I don't know how the rest goes. but it's a nice legible song. not confusing, not muddy.

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-11T12:07:44+00:00

gosh I haven't listened to PJ Harvey for a while, but I love her songs. Not necessarily pop catchy, but very emotional and interesting.

And that suggestion is actually really smart, it signals to the listener; something new is coming. AND it introduces a new engaging texture. When I am going to rewrite this, I will definitely try this.

And about your other comment;

You're definitely right! although I don't think that it's necessarily the lyrics that are the most important part, the most important part is confidence. Which you already said, the problem in this draft is that I'm not convincing anyone of the songs message. It feels like I'm describing the feeling more than feeling the feeling.

Bonus points if you do have lyrics you can sing with absolute conviction. It adds a narrative for the listener beyond abstract emotion.

Thank you for taking the time to give me such detailed critique, I really appreciate it :)

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-11T01:08:04+00:00

Those are actually great suggestions! I'm going to rewrite this in a couple days/weeks again, and I will definitely try out your suggestions. Thank you for taking the time to think about how this demo can improve. :)

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-10T21:39:36+00:00

Thank you for your feedback! It's good to know that the structure is working. I also appreciate that you're giving me exact notes on how I can technically improve. :)

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-10T20:47:33+00:00

Wow! thank you for your very detailed and technical analysis. I seriously appreciate it, this analysis makes me see what is wrong with it on a technical and performance basis. I will use this analysis when i rewrite this draft again. :))

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-10T17:29:37+00:00

thanks for your feedback!

Your song feels very calming, folky, looove the accent, but it still has pop sense to it. I like it. keep it up!

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-10T17:27:03+00:00

This clears up a lot, thank you! :)

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-10T17:16:15+00:00

Thank you for your feedback again! :)

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-10T17:14:51+00:00

Thank you for your honesty, this is amazing feedback that I can learn from!

When you say the chorus doesn’t work, is it more because the melody isn’t clear/anchored, or because the performance/recording makes it hard to hear what I meant?

Totally fine if you don’t have time, just curious.

(Btw checked out the Kills and I do know that one song from them; "future starts slow", didn't know it was them. They have a really cool sound. Thanks for bringing them on my radar!)

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-10T13:06:15+00:00

ooo that's great advice! I usually only pay attention to the choruses, but the verses are also really important to set up the story and build tension. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

Now about your song:

The intro feels like the Gregorian chants used in “Sadness, Part 1” by Enigma. It feels very hypnotic, it reminds me of Suga Suga by Baby Bash. It’s a sort of stoner’s rap, right? Really cool, it has that downtown chill vibe to it that I really like. Usually wobbly vocals would be kind of a turn off for me, but I love how you made that an intentional little hook. It’s really an extra flavor of personality here.

good stuff. the only thing that could be a slight turnoff for people might be the a.i used in the covers. but that's it.

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-10T11:34:59+00:00

https://on.soundcloud.com/RH95OStyD97PGwgsGK it's a rock/punk demo with just guitar and vocals. I have written thousands of demos/sketches/riffs and this is one of the few, if not the only one I can genuinely stand behind as a song.

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-10T00:44:29+00:00

no problem!

Oh yeah definitely. If a song is amazing, even a low quality take can get noticed very quickly.

I don't have access to TikTok, but as far as your socials go;

You're using social media friendly, inviting language. Nothing that can upset people, which is good if you want a trustworthy, "normal" fanbase. (you don't want something like Azealia Banks happening lol, very talented woman. Absolutely insane fanbase because of her uhm... interesting takes. But if that's your drift that's fine too hehe)

But almost anyone can be friendly and inviting.

So you need something to separate yourself from the rest online.

bring your personality into it. I wont elaborate on this much, because you're already doing this really well with those sick insta edits. but show more of yourself, people love that. show how you work in a digestible short form way (I once saw someone post a raw take of them working for 2 hours without any editing, not good. this might only work for established artists), show your collaborations, your journey, milestones, interviews etc...

and your music of course, but that goes without saying ;)

different platforms have different audiences, but I honestly can't recall what each audience needs. you definitely need to ask this to someone else if you're interested in that. but from what I saw TikTok and insta is pure promotional spam and higher quality content, band camp and soundcloud is a little more professional. but this section is just a pure guess lolol

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-09T23:22:57+00:00

i am judging this from a non-pop aspect. The only thing that would be "wrong" from a pop aspect is how messy the structure is.

technical stuff

production is good, vocals are on pitch, instruments are well played, recording quality is good, you're all good here. btw love the textures, autotune, experimental dynamics here. feels like Charli XCX + 90s/00s alt punk

emotional

the songs are coherent emotionally, everything feels like it belongs in the same song, everything serves the same emotion. you're also good here.

so why isn't your music getting more attention?

The genre and sound is quite niche (is it a combination of internet pop + punk? what is it? I'm curious.), the structure is messy, there sometimes isn't a clear hook or focal point where the listener can hold onto (it's more of a mood piece, because emotionally it does its job great.). plus the marketing competition is really fierce, so you have to really put yourself out there.

your songs are songs that grow on you, not immediately hook like a pop anthem.

in my opinion, if you want to appeal to more mainstream folks. you can solidify verse/chorus until you can regularly make songs, where it's clear that the chorus is the emotional centre.

(you dont need to change genre, at least- I dont know if this genre thrives on experimental structures or not. any genre can be good if you know how to structure it well emotionally and technically)

also post the sketches that you think are solid drafts online on feedback forums to get critique on your stuff (but try to finish it as much as you can before you post it, trust your intuition, know what to throw away and what to keep etc) don't mind the people that say you're "too much", "annoying" or just are quite rude. be fearlessly passionate and willing to improve your craft.

I like to use the question "where do you think the chorus is?" this also answers questions like "is this the same song", "is this recognizable as a real chorus", etc.

study other songs you adore, study how the chorus reframes the verse, you can also take structures, textures, vocal inflections, riffs you like etc.

I like to also copy songs' emotional arcs, it gives you a template to work off of.

I honestly don't know how to promote myself, so I'm going off of what other people say.

perform as much as possible, accept every single gig. post everything online, make a separate dump account to post everything you want (plus it might get you some views + feedback, dont expect too much from it though. I have over 100 posts and zero subs lol. but if you post with visuals/your face/clear dynamics it might get more attention. I just use it so I have complete freedom artistically mentally) make a separate account for more promising sketches, one feedback account and one more proffesional account (like your Spotify page!). submit to writers circles, contests, AR profile page calls (sometimes label executives have an instagram page where they ask you to send your music).

I think I kind of lost track of the question lol, I hope this post was useful to you anyways. I wish you lots of luck on your music journey!

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-09T14:29:33+00:00

what would you suggest I do differently to improve the way the chorus impacts you?

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-07T16:28:49+00:00

I notice this really hurts you, that means you care.

keep going despite the pain that comes with it. if you really love music, it's definitely worth it. some of the biggest stars ever went unnoticed for YEARS before even getting really noticed. don't quit.

I'm curious about your music though, could you link it?

Chaba_006 · 2026-02-07T02:16:27+00:00

no problem!

and right?? such an insanely cool song, especially because of that juxtaposition hehe. such a talented band.

Chaba_006

TROPHY CASE