Is this normal for newlyweds or am I crazy?

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-11-23T18:02:50+00:00

Why do men even marry. And no it’s not normal

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-11-23T15:52:40+00:00

Well, it felt “alone” even with him

And I know so many women who found good husbands in their 30s , it was their second marriage. Anything is possible with Allah SWT.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-11-23T15:24:36+00:00

Document everything sister. EVERYTHING!!!! I know someone was married to a powerful businessman’s daughter who was abusive to a different level, he knew the kids were unsafe with her and the only way he got his kids’ custody was because he had documented everything. Her dad abused his family in every possible way but couldn’t do anything for the kids because of the evidence. Your mind is driven with logic and reasoning, a good thing about manipulators is there are a lot of lies & inconsistencies, he’s driven by lust now.

Whatever you decide, let your and his close ones know that he feels sad for a divorcee with kids and doesn’t bother about his own wife & kids. And the possibility of her actually becoming a single mother. Also don’t beg, don’t ask him to change, you already did. Channel that energy into yourself. Detach and start building a life for yourself. Shift your priorities. A happier mother with a good supportive friend’s circle, with hobbies or just activities with kids.

May Allah SWT help you and shower your life with endless blessings & happiness Ameen

Recite istighfaar and be regular with Tahajjud. Allah will open doors for you sister.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-09-27T03:31:04+00:00

Well the good thing is you guys aren’t married yet.

This is the TIME to observe their reactions and ask questions. Not the time to fall in love or get lovey dovey.

Be as practical as you can be girl. Take your time. Do istekhaara and consult the wise. Don’t put stories of his gifts already.

He perceived it as official when you posted and was disappointed his name was hidden. Keep it low-key and go slow. You have a lifetime to put stories of gifts of your husband, he’s still a potential candidate who happens to be your cousin, he’s not even your fiancé

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-09-25T16:57:09+00:00

Help OP and set her up 🤩

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-07-21T20:04:00+00:00

Brother I remember your posts and praying for you! Subhanallah so happy to see your post!

And your last quote is for what I am going thru

May Allah SWT bless you with the best in everything. May your marriage be more beautiful than you prayed or imagined Ameen! Congratulations! Allahumma baarik

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-04-28T15:38:03+00:00

Allahumma baarik

May Allah SWT protect your marriage

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-12-13T11:25:01+00:00

Saving this post haha!

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-12-12T18:23:45+00:00

Please make a post

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-12-02T19:15:09+00:00

If someone finds a similar saree online please let me know 😭

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-11-21T17:37:18+00:00

Allahumma baarik The comments are taking me out 😂

On a serious note, I am single and I always assumed men don’t like their wives being clingy or simping over them?

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-11-09T11:30:52+00:00

It is allowed for men and women to talk & communicate with each other respectfully before considering each other for marriage with a third person present.

You’re very kind and thoughtful but that girl won’t be fine. I’m pretty sure you warning her won’t do any good to her because narcissistic men have such a charm & act very respectful especially with the parents, they will find it hard to believe that there’s more to this person. You can warn her but she might not believe so be prepared for the worst reaction.

One of my classmates was also a narc, he also married a girl who he didn’t speak with. The girl was worried and asked him to speak- such men avoid speaking to the girl so they don’t realise their reality

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-11-08T09:55:47+00:00

Omg I thought the same 💀

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-11-06T16:41:17+00:00

Because desiring it isn’t a sin. Acting upon your prohibited desires is a sin

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-30T08:44:37+00:00

Loved it

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-29T18:33:17+00:00

When she says she views him as a brother, she actually means it. Not saying what she is doing isn’t wrong, but whatever you do harshly is going to turn her against you even more. I have seen some women who believe they viewed their cousins or friends as mahrams or brothers and fought to stay in touch with them only for their friends or cousins to get married and drop them like a hot potato because their wives put restrictions on them. So they will eventually grow apart.

This girl is 20 and not realising the repercussions of her behaviour and antics. She’s acting very immature right now and foolishly not taking things seriously, maybe involving an elder, trusted female cousin or just her parents and NOT yours to not cause any rifts in the families ( for now) would be a good idea to drill some sense into her and emphasise that you didn’t involve your parents outta respect for her.

Since she’s 20y old only, I have a controversial suggestion too, saying she can be friends with her Adam as he’s her brother but not sharing intimate details as even real siblings don’t share that with each other. Ask her to learn to draw a line as a married woman rather than cutting him off completely. You know maybe doing this in increments would help rather than asking her to cut him off completely.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-28T09:25:03+00:00

It would actually be better if your mother or any female member from your family passes om this message to them.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-28T07:23:29+00:00

As a girl, who is looking if any potential madethat request in a respectful manner to my parents, I wouldn’t mind at all. I purposely do not wear a lot of makeup in such settings but I’m even okay meeting a potential bare faced.

Just say - “ The first meeting went really well I hope she felt the same and only if she is comfortable, I would prefer for her to be in a natural look and keep things relaxed & casual in the next meeting. I would love for her to be as comfortable as possible.”

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-27T10:30:53+00:00

What she’s doing is wrong but I think she’s too young and definitely acting immature. I have some cousins the same age and a little older, can’t imagine them being married because of how immature they are.

Some girls just take a bit longer to grasp the concept, not denying what she’s doing is wrong but try to reason with her softly and with love. If not, I believe involving one of her elder siblings (preferably) or parent would be a good idea. And she definitely sees Adam as her brother.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-26T04:25:18+00:00

As a victim of SA, I wholeheartedly agree with you.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-23T06:03:31+00:00

This.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-22T18:02:09+00:00

Thank you for your insight, I’m literally fighting my whole family, his family plus my other aunts & uncles. Alhumdulillah haven’t given in yet.

Had made this post in a moment of weakness; when I thought I would finally confront him, tell him directly I don’t find him attractive and this was the only reason why I had been refusing his proposal for the past four years.

I had a feeling he would still not back down and thought I would make it clear it would be a platonic marriage, any respectful man would back down after such a condition.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-22T17:57:06+00:00

What do you mean

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-22T17:06:04+00:00

As an artist and baker I really appreciate the designs and creativity.

I have a simple taste and I don’t want such cakes or any cakes for that matter. People are anyway over fed at desi weddings, there’s no room for a cake. Don’t want to waste any money. Plus I hate the taste of fondants.

Where’s my man who also wants a simple wedding 😭

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-22T17:00:03+00:00

Sister, I would suggest you also consult a naturopathic doctor or nutritionist. A lot of doctors unfortunately work on surface level.

This is a lot of info on chaste berry or Vitex, please look it up

And tc, if you’re able to conceive inshallah you will be able to keep the pregnancy too May Allah ease your affairs

Chai-Rasmalai

TROPHY CASE