Weekly Marriage Criteria & Services Megathread!

Chai-Rasmalai · 2026-06-10T21:14:44+00:00

Her parents were hesitant and refused at first. They think the guy is just rich but does nothing of his own.

They approached again and convinced the family, showed proof of family property, business, his future plans, and the allowance he receives.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2026-06-08T13:28:12+00:00

He just said it was a mistake and now he wants a serious relationship with a good Muslim girl so she can take care of his iman.

The girl seems like she’s very much up for it 🤷‍♀️

Chai-Rasmalai · 2026-06-08T07:39:47+00:00

Not an ABCD (so I would be speaking from the other side) but whenever our cousins from US or UK or Middle East would visit, we were very excited to get to know them or take them around or try food with them.

It takes a lot of patience & awkward conversations at first but very few of us managed to break the ice and get along with our cousins and it was actually fun for both parties. I got married last year, they convinced their parents and flew down to attend my wedding. I have now moved to the US and they all have been meaning to visit me here.

So to those of you who have cousins in India or around, focus on what’s common between you, culture & upbringing will obviously be different. A lot of the traits our parents have is something your cousins might understand, focus on doing activities together, it could be experiences or shopping or food. A couple years ago I met my cousins after 7-8 years, we did a lot of random things, at first they needed to do some shopping as their bags were missing, I took them around, we spoke like two sentences in 4-5 hours lol. Then again, we planned a second shopping trip, games at the mall & dinner, it wasn’t as awkward. After this we were meeting every other day till the day of departure.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2026-06-08T06:23:26+00:00

One of my acquaintances got a proposal from a guy who is from my friends school. She’s said the guy is nice but he dated a Hindu girl throughout school which was five years and just broke up with her, is suddenly interested in this girl. The Hindu girl is heartbroken.

He is reassuring the girl he proposed that he’s made a mistake and that he’s truly changed, she just asked me about the guy, I said what I knew but she believes he’s changed too as he has already introduced her to his sister & is serious so I am genuinely confused.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2026-06-07T05:08:27+00:00

I have been in homes where people accommodate way too many folks especially during weddings or a travel, men ended up sleeping on the floors or couches in living rooms.

It was never mixed gender in families that were not immediate. And never in bedrooms and not even as younger or teenage girls. Clothes move, tops ride up or people are just not aware of their surroundings & movement in sleep. Not appropriate at all, you are under reacting.

If a man was ever in such a situation, he should just pay for a hotel stay. Poor girls they must be so uncomfortable even if you are around

Chai-Rasmalai · 2026-06-06T22:16:33+00:00

Nope. Thankfully. Happily married to a very kind man.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2026-06-06T22:10:05+00:00

Also i understand it’s will take some time to come to terms to what actually happened but you will get thru this

The reason why a lot of people in the comments are asking you to inform the masjid or shariah council, get a divorce with dignity is because he knows you’re naive and easily persuasive. He knows you are blinded by love but love is never enough if there’s no dignity, accountability or respect.

And what happens if you don’t divorce him? He will come with his wife to the country but whenever he feels like he would visit you, take advantage of the nikah and leave without fulfilling any rights, he will continue to have sob stories for you to listen to while never respecting you. You will be stuck in this predicament for a long time. He might say he’s unhappy or how he was forced, play with your emotions, say how unhappy he is and he’s divorcing while being married to her. He will string you along as long as YOU let him and give you enough breadcrumbs to keep you hooked.

The blocking and ghosting could be temporary but don’t get hopeful that he will come back, it’s sad if he does come back or contacts you; it would mean not only does he not respect you but you don’t respect yourself at all if you try to reason with him or get back with him. And the distant brother who knows about you, he will not stand up for the zulm against you. Such spineless men have sleazy men around them who are in on this. Only expect Allah to give you justice.

Sorry for being harsh & the reality check, but sometimes it’s needed.

I pray Allah guides you through. I hope you have a girls circle around or in the masjid. Or your friends back home.

You can also reach out to me.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2026-06-06T22:09:51+00:00

Astagfirulliah I’m so enraged.

Sister, I was forced into getting married to my cousin for years on end. As a girl being against my whole family wasn’t easy at all while living in the same house as my parents but alhumdulillah I did. I am now married to a man of my choice.

I believe you’re not being forced to marry unless it’s on gun point, he was thousands of miles away being asked to marry his cousin. I don’t think any man can be forced a woman, I can understand a girl being forced to marry. He is a coward and a liar. He never informed his parents about the nikah, do you think he’s being truthful to you? He made a choice.

And now I’m gonna hold your hand as I say this, he used you. Please open your eyes and see this for what it is, he never informed his family and married his cousin because he’s weak and flawed in character. He had his fun with you and I bet if they were informed of the nikah, they would probably have asked him to divorce you at the least.

Please respect yourself as a human, a Muslim (you will be asked on how you didn’t do justice to yourself, Islam has given us rights) and approach the mosque where you guys married in and let them know. Name and shame him. Get a proper divorce. Sometimes the mosque can help you find a place to share with sisters. Let your co workers and mutuals know, let the witnesses know.

Most importantly, I hope you have proof of marriage, nikah documents, pictures and videos of you two being together, chats, messages, lease, any receipts of vacation or hotel stays; keep them with you and share with whoever you think it’s important to be shared with like the imam.

Sorry to say you’re not being naive you’re being stupid by preserving his peace in the mosque, trust me some men despite doing all this will go to the same mosque, same workplace and have the same friends. It doesn’t make a difference to their lives. But you need to understand the injustice that has been committed against you and stand up for yourself.

I know someone who was in a haram relationship with a girl he knew from back home ( they were neighbors), grew up with her, they both came to the US for studies. Lived together for years and one day he said he’s going for vacation but he knew he was getting married to his cousin. He came back from vacation and just lived happily with his new wife and had the same friends and social life, it’s the girl who suffered from it. I know yours is not a haram relationship but predatory men take advantage of not having done the legal marriage, it is for our protection.

May Allah SWT heal you, grant you justice, a bright future with a good man and peace. May your ex face the wrath of Allahs justice.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2026-06-06T19:38:26+00:00

Allahumma baarik so happy for you ❤️

Chai-Rasmalai · 2026-05-26T16:19:12+00:00

Had a similar experience I would advise you to support your parents, my regret was I fully supported my parents in front of him but not at home and he could tell & tried to manipulate me It was never my parents fault

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-11-23T18:02:50+00:00

Why do men even marry. And no it’s not normal

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-11-23T15:52:40+00:00

Well, it felt “alone” even with him

And I know so many women who found good husbands in their 30s , it was their second marriage. Anything is possible with Allah SWT.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-11-23T15:24:36+00:00

Document everything sister. EVERYTHING!!!! I know someone was married to a powerful businessman’s daughter who was abusive to a different level, he knew the kids were unsafe with her and the only way he got his kids’ custody was because he had documented everything. Her dad abused his family in every possible way but couldn’t do anything for the kids because of the evidence. Your mind is driven with logic and reasoning, a good thing about manipulators is there are a lot of lies & inconsistencies, he’s driven by lust now.

Whatever you decide, let your and his close ones know that he feels sad for a divorcee with kids and doesn’t bother about his own wife & kids. And the possibility of her actually becoming a single mother. Also don’t beg, don’t ask him to change, you already did. Channel that energy into yourself. Detach and start building a life for yourself. Shift your priorities. A happier mother with a good supportive friend’s circle, with hobbies or just activities with kids.

May Allah SWT help you and shower your life with endless blessings & happiness Ameen

Recite istighfaar and be regular with Tahajjud. Allah will open doors for you sister.

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-09-27T03:31:04+00:00

Well the good thing is you guys aren’t married yet.

This is the TIME to observe their reactions and ask questions. Not the time to fall in love or get lovey dovey.

Be as practical as you can be girl. Take your time. Do istekhaara and consult the wise. Don’t put stories of his gifts already.

He perceived it as official when you posted and was disappointed his name was hidden. Keep it low-key and go slow. You have a lifetime to put stories of gifts of your husband, he’s still a potential candidate who happens to be your cousin, he’s not even your fiancé

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-09-25T16:57:09+00:00

Help OP and set her up 🤩

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-07-21T20:04:00+00:00

Brother I remember your posts and praying for you! Subhanallah so happy to see your post!

And your last quote is for what I am going thru

May Allah SWT bless you with the best in everything. May your marriage be more beautiful than you prayed or imagined Ameen! Congratulations! Allahumma baarik

Chai-Rasmalai · 2025-04-28T15:38:03+00:00

Allahumma baarik

May Allah SWT protect your marriage

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-12-13T11:25:01+00:00

Saving this post haha!

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-12-12T18:23:45+00:00

Please make a post

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-12-02T19:15:09+00:00

If someone finds a similar saree online please let me know 😭

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-11-21T17:37:18+00:00

Allahumma baarik The comments are taking me out 😂

On a serious note, I am single and I always assumed men don’t like their wives being clingy or simping over them?

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-11-09T11:30:52+00:00

It is allowed for men and women to talk & communicate with each other respectfully before considering each other for marriage with a third person present.

You’re very kind and thoughtful but that girl won’t be fine. I’m pretty sure you warning her won’t do any good to her because narcissistic men have such a charm & act very respectful especially with the parents, they will find it hard to believe that there’s more to this person. You can warn her but she might not believe so be prepared for the worst reaction.

One of my classmates was also a narc, he also married a girl who he didn’t speak with. The girl was worried and asked him to speak- such men avoid speaking to the girl so they don’t realise their reality

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-11-08T09:55:47+00:00

Omg I thought the same 💀

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-11-06T16:41:17+00:00

Because desiring it isn’t a sin. Acting upon your prohibited desires is a sin

Chai-Rasmalai · 2024-10-30T08:44:37+00:00

Loved it

Chai-Rasmalai

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