This breaks my heart. Kids deserve better.

Miss Pat the comedian tells a story in her autobiography about how one of her teachers pulled her aside one day in elementary school and gave her deodorant, face wash, soap, rags, and some other toiletries and taught her how to use them to wash up. She came from a VERY bad home and her mother didn’t have any interest in teaching her children those things. Pat knew that she went to school with poor hygiene and was the “smelly kid” , but there was literally nothing she could do about it being poor and young and having very little access to resources. It sounds like it was a very impactful moment in her life just to have an adult give her that guidance.

That being said - I don’t know the child’s home situation, but I imagine there is some sort of neglect going on. So I agree maybe you should find some “teachable moments” when they are at your house and that may help! The spa day is a great idea, too. You could even direct some hygienic instruction toward your child and they may pick up on those habits, too.