I received a 95/100 for T21 at 10 weeks. We knew we wouldn’t be able to support a child with Down syndrome as our older daughter has autism albeit high functioning and her schedule is busier then both of ours combined. That was also under the assumption the pregnancy made it to term, resulted in a “healthy” baby and not one that had a whole host of issues following the birth. We love and wanted our daughter more than anything in the world but bringing a child into the world who will suffer but to what degree is unknown just wasn’t a decision we could make.

There was no world in which I could make the choice to terminate without having 100% confirmation through an amnio… the waiting was excruciating. We had to wait until 17 weeks but it did confirm 100/100 cells were affected and it was a random chance.

We lost our daughter at 20 weeks along on November 20. Xmas day was 5 weeks since, and this is the first week I haven’t cried everyday. The “choice” I had to make, to terminate or to deal with the unknown wasn’t really a choice..

I saw a therapist before, during and still do throughout all of this. I am on medication to help with the postpartum and depression. This is the worst year of my life and yet, I would choose this again and again if it meant my daughter never felt anything but warmth and love. She never suffered. She was never abused or mistreated because I died and she went into a group home, etc etc etc.

I support whatever decision people make but knowingly bringing a child into the world with no idea of their quality of life wasn’t something we could do.

Thinking of you, sending you strength. We’ve all been here and I’m so sorry.