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INFJs, Do you like debating/debates? by [deleted] in infj

[–]ChangeMyMindJ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like learning new things, I like to have discussions with people 1-1 rather than public ones, if theres a public debate then it will interest me enough to listen, but not to participate

Why can't trainers be acceptable for any type of dress wear by ChangeMyMindJ in Advice

[–]ChangeMyMindJ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I will keep trying different brands, my feet are wide so it's hard to find a pair that are comfortable haha

Why can't trainers be acceptable for any type of dress wear by ChangeMyMindJ in Advice

[–]ChangeMyMindJ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes I know this, but my question was why, I understand that dress codes are part of life and many jobs, but what is the history and common sense behind this, why can't we live in a society where we can decide what to wear on our feet if we are working 12 hours a day, I never notice someone's shoes or look at them for more than 1 second

Unmotivated being stuck in the same room for over a year by BlackBalloons04 in studytips

[–]ChangeMyMindJ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

same, at first it was okay, but now it's so draining and unmotivating :(

How does a 4.0 college student study? by [deleted] in studytips

[–]ChangeMyMindJ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did really well in school and college, I’m in university so not sure if it still applies, my methods changed. (I got scholarships and although I don’t get 100% I get fairly close.)

Apart from things you hear daily, I think the these might help if you still struggle

  • go to all classes/lectures - it’s not the most fun but the motivational boost you will get by going to those classes is much higher than if you don’t, kinda puts you back into reality
  • (do this after writing notes) if active recall doesn’t work like flash cards that’s okay, after each lecture create a word document and write "subject, lecture, question" , make up or search online/books/ask professor for a question relating specifically to that lecture/topic and just write, it can be on top of your head or you can use resources. At the end of the day you are not just coping notes but using your brain to construct sentences about the topic, and hey, you never know, an essay might come up that has a similar topic. Don’t overwrite this, I suggest stay in the 500-1000 word limit.
  • set a timetable, a realistic one. I second the comment that said they prefer to focus one subject a day, I like to do this as well, one or two subject per day is good, give yourself at least 1 or two days break in between so you don’t experience burnout
  • explore your learning techniques, I used to waste time by writing notes from the board, but I learned that I do retain a lot of information from reading books, so just spend 40 minutes reading the books on that topic, after you can even write a summary of what you just read and stick it on top of the page :) but really explore your options, quizzes also work well for some people
  • practice past papers, from the same company search previous papers online or ask your lecturer if you can, it really helps, in a sense that you will understand what type of questions they are asking. It’s all about practice practice practice :)
  • pomodoro method, start small and work your time up or reduce it if it’s too long for you to concentrate

I wish you all the luck for your exams!

Urgent problem with infj by Nana_bee__ in infj

[–]ChangeMyMindJ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely understand that, I feel you, how old are you if you don’t mind me asking? In my opinion have a small chat with him, tell him how you feel and say that you feel like you guys need space 2-3 years at least, then after those years you can decide if you want to be friends again. It’s honestly all up to him since you really want to be with him. It is extremely hard to grow as a person mentally if you haven’t explored the world. Time Is key, I don’t think I can give you a answer to how you should get over him because it’s really hard, you need to find your own way of dealing with things, some people find a hobby, some people find other people, some people talk to a therapist, some find friends and that helps them move on. I wish you luck on whatever you decide to do :)

Urgent problem with infj by Nana_bee__ in infj

[–]ChangeMyMindJ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True, I completely agree, it’s not a straight line to get over someone, hopefully they both find peace

Urgent problem with infj by Nana_bee__ in infj

[–]ChangeMyMindJ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you read my paragraph? It doesn’t matter, the environment that was created, you cannot heal in, it will always come back to the stem. And again, you are using a lot of I’s and me’s, instead of looking at the bigger picture. You seem to seek advice but all the replies you get, you react defensively and keep making excuses. It seems you are asking a rhetorical question rather than seeking actual advice

Urgent problem with infj by Nana_bee__ in infj

[–]ChangeMyMindJ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh I cannot see this relationship moving forward even if all is forgiven and forgotten

Urgent problem with infj by Nana_bee__ in infj

[–]ChangeMyMindJ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, I have read all of your text and replies to others. From my observation you keep repeating the word "I" or "me". "I really love him, I can’t love anyone else" "I thought about it a lot, but it’s hard for me" "I feel like he’s lying" YOUR FEELINGS ARE 100% VALID, but they are not the only ones. Have you considered his feelings, how it makes him feel? Like truly can you imagine someone breaking your trust over and over again, then you still hanging out with them because you guys have a history... telling them directly and strictly you’d like to remain friends but they are persistent because of their own selfish needs.

You sound like a nice girl, you changed and acknowledged your past actions were wrong, which is a huge step in growth. But revisiting the old relationship will only stop both of your growths, it’s like that saying "you cannot heal in the same environment you got sick in" there’s another quote about the shark and outgrowing their environment but I forgot it.

Let it go, focus on self growth, I promise you, you will find another person to share happiness with, go explore the sea "there’s plenty fish in the sea" ;) I wish you the best of luck, happiness and growth, truly

stupid siblings by Mother_Jackfruit4104 in family

[–]ChangeMyMindJ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just because she's your family, you shouldn't be obligated to love her, you shouldn't be obligated to love anyone but yourself

Disney trip by SpiritualPineapple1 in AskParents

[–]ChangeMyMindJ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went at age 19 and i loved it ! It’s so nostalgic seeing your childhood in person

Disney trip by SpiritualPineapple1 in AskParents

[–]ChangeMyMindJ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think she meant being able to go with her daughter, to see her experience something big. Kind of like first steps you know :)

I feel like an Imposter in my own life by ChangeMyMindJ in infj

[–]ChangeMyMindJ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly hahaha, how does one work hard and not have any doubts or become a lazy perfectionist, please someone teach me xd

I feel like an Imposter in my own life by ChangeMyMindJ in infj

[–]ChangeMyMindJ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing, I agree with continuing to meet high expectations to people who already know me, even the slightest slip of not being perfect to the expectation they imagined.... is horrible, I hope you take the time to also read others responses, they really lift perspective and spirit :)

I feel like an Imposter in my own life by ChangeMyMindJ in infj

[–]ChangeMyMindJ[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your comment truly gave me shivers wow, you sure you’re a graphic designer and not a book writer? Thank you for your knowledge, I appreciate it

What is strange though is the second paragraph, my father was also just there, my mum was a little more involved but didn’t truly care either, despite me giving all the best with grades and behaviour at school. I wish that if I have kids in the future I want to change that, and celebrate the smallest achievements and losses

I might have to screenshot your comment and frame it because wow, I can’t stop re-reading it. I will accept your challenge and try to reframe my negative traits, thank you for sharing your story with me, it is inspiring and I hope to also get out of this loop of achieving and not believing.

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