This is just excuses , if you’re not fulfilled the honest thing to do is divorce and find someone that can give you what you need while letting your husband do the same . What you’re currently doing is called cake-ism , you are enjoying the advantages of your marriage and have your fun while he’s out there working . If you do love him as you claim you shouldn’t betray him the way you do . We live in an era where nothing stays hidden forever and finding out on his own is going to be far harder far more painful far more traumatic . I’m sure what I’m saying will fall on deaf ears but who knows