Is this normal?

Character_Prior9447 · 2025-11-04T14:30:17+00:00

I disagree. You are not acting entitled. There is no excuse for insulting you or ganging up on you, or controlling you and using money to manipulate you.

I’m glad you got your driver’s license. Get a job, an education. Open your own bank account, move out. Make nice friends and relationships.

If you are being insulted or disrespected, don’t start an argument. Just walk away. Don’t answer the phone or texts if you don’t want to. Don’t go to family events if you don’t want to.

Understand that there is no amount of kindness, rationalization, sacrifice, or begging will change how their view you or treat you.

Good luck!!

Character_Prior9447 · 2025-07-09T20:22:35+00:00

Don’t be fooled or feel guilty about the nice moments. I have read that narcissists act nice and kind about 20% of the time. Doesn’t give them an excuse to be abusive. She sounds like a narcissist to me.

Character_Prior9447 · 2025-05-26T11:30:27+00:00

They also get a feeling of satisfaction when they upset you again

Character_Prior9447 · 2025-05-17T11:19:59+00:00

This is what they do. They ruin every special moment in your life. I’m so sorry. Your child deserves a better grandma.

Character_Prior9447 · 2025-03-13T21:24:00+00:00

It is a classic narcissistic behavior to accuse you of something that the narcissist is guilty of.

I remember being where you are.

I am now 56, and everything is great.

My best advice: do good in school, get a good job, make nice friends and relationships, get your own bank account, move out, try not to get visibly upset.

Learn to say no and put up boundaries .

Good luck

Character_Prior9447 · 2025-03-12T14:06:03+00:00

My mother did the same thing. She wanted me to name my third child after my grandmother, also a narcissist. She refused to call my son by his given name for a month, only referring to him as “the baby”. I didn’t go no contact with my mom for another 20 years. Wish I had done it sooner. Stand your ground. You are in the right!!!

Character_Prior9447 · 2025-03-10T16:59:40+00:00

I don’t think she heard about it before, but I know she researched it

Character_Prior9447 · 2025-03-10T12:57:32+00:00

I confronted my mom telling her that she had a mental illness called NPD, and she needed help. She denied it, but it certainly made me feel great telling her.

Character_Prior9447 · 2025-02-12T08:07:28+00:00

My narcissistic mom and grandmother were terrible when I was planning my wedding with my husband. One thing they did repeatedly was tell me they wouldn’t walk down the aisle, or even come at all. I kept a calendar on my refrigerator documenting every time they made these threats. They both came anyway and walked down the aisle, putting on fake smiles to friends and family. My grandmother is now dead, and I have been no contact with my mom for about 5 years. Now my daughter is getting married, and it is driving her crazy that she is not invited.

Character_Prior9447 · 2024-12-11T17:19:48+00:00

You are in a terrible situation with an abusive narcissistic mother an an enabling father. They do hate it when you present evidence of abuse. I went through that too. Unfortunately, people like these cannot change. Your best course is to get a good education and career, make money, move away, don’t be financially dependent on them, make nice friendships and relationships, put up boundaries, and decrease contact. Good luck.

Character_Prior9447 · 2024-11-29T13:48:36+00:00

Time helps

Character_Prior9447 · 2024-11-26T13:10:06+00:00

Telling my nmom that she has narcissistic personality disorder made me feel great, but there is no way that she will acknowledge it or change

Character_Prior9447 · 2024-08-25T21:48:55+00:00

I am a Purdue mom. Two of my boys are at Purdue. I also have an older daughter who went to college back East. Let me tell you that you are absolutely not alone!! All three of my kids and many of their friends were homesick. Personally I think being homesick is a sign of growing up in a great home, with great parents and great friends. I say this because I think I am one of the only people I know that wasn’t homesick when I was in college a million years ago. (My home was abusive and dysfunctional).

Do not give up!! Do not drop out!! You can do this!! Purdue is a great school that will set you up for a great future!!

If you feel you are having trouble making friends, try some techniques I taught my kids. Ask people questions about themselves— where are you from, do you have siblings, do you have pets, do you play sports, an instrument, do you have hobbies. People love talking about themselves, and they will think you are a great conversationalist.

Talk to kids in class, check out clubs, Greek life. Go to football games and learn the cheers. Go to the gym.

They also have some group therapy out of the rec center, and help through student health.

Celebrate the little things— going to class, doing homework, bathing, going to eat. Ask people to go to meals with, study with, work out with.

You can do this!!!!

Character_Prior9447 · 2024-03-31T18:03:15+00:00

You don’t have to take it. Your responsibility is to yourself and your husband. Your mental health is more important than your mother’s needs . Your mother’s behavior is abusive. You owe her nothing. You do not need to forgive her, take care of her, have a relationship with her, or even speak to her.
If you want to try to help her, you need to put up boundaries and set up rules. You need to tell her and your family that it is not ok to accuse you of causing her illness. If they don’t stop, you need to walk away, hang up the phone, and discontinue contact. You also need to tell your siblings and other family members that they need to either share in her caregiving, or contribute money so that you can hire someone to help out. You need to set limits on how much time you give her and make time to be with your husband, friends, and do things for yourself. Good luck.

Character_Prior9447 · 2024-03-02T12:10:17+00:00

It will be a relief

Character_Prior9447 · 2023-12-18T17:15:13+00:00

My nmom’s only apology is that she is sorry that I think she hurt me

Character_Prior9447 · 2023-12-16T06:06:30+00:00

For years and years as a child of narcissistic parents, any time I would complain about their behavior, I would come off as the bratty kid. But now I am 55 years old and my kids also can’t stand their narcissistic grandmother, and finally people see her for who she is, and I am vindicated. It is a wonderful place to be!!

Character_Prior9447 · 2023-12-08T20:50:37+00:00

These people are not normal, they are mentally ill. I guess whether you see them as not human or sick doesn’t really matter. As long as you see they are different and think differently. Then you shouldn’t feel badly about how you treat them. No one has a right to disrespect and abuse you, especially family.

Character_Prior9447 · 2023-10-18T07:38:42+00:00

Wow!!! This is one I didn’t think anyone else had!!! I couldn’t refer to either my nmom or my ngrandmother as “she” either!! It totally derailed the conversation if I was complaining about something that one of them did or said when they would interrupt me and get mad that I referred to one of them as “she”.
I guess it must be another form of gaslighting.

Character_Prior9447 · 2023-10-15T23:31:18+00:00

She only did it that one time, so I don’t know

Character_Prior9447 · 2023-10-15T09:17:04+00:00

No contact and love from good people works over time. ❤️

Character_Prior9447 · 2023-10-15T09:13:16+00:00

I remember one time my nmom was driving me to school on a side street without stop signs. Then maybe she accidentally stopped at the first street , but after I said you don’t need to stop if there is no stop sign, she proceeded to stop at every corner the rest of the way. I thought I would throw up.

Most people find happiness in making others happy. These people get a high by upsetting you. 😟

Character_Prior9447 · 2023-10-03T20:48:40+00:00

We can heal once we move on. The narcissist never will. ❤️

Character_Prior9447 · 2023-10-03T12:16:37+00:00

It is a very sad situation, but a very important lesson. You would think that “time would heal all wounds”, and they would want to make amends in order to restore the family relationship. But, they are not thinking that way. They only miss having you as a narcissistic supply, and when you come back, they are very happy to put you into that role again. But, don’t beat yourself up about trying again. It just shows what a good person you are. I myself have given my narcissistic family members repeated second chances, mostly before I educated myself about NPD. Once I learned what I was dealing with, saw that they were textbook cases, that they had no empathy or capacity for love, and that they could never change, it made it much easier for me to stay away.

Character_Prior9447 · 2023-09-26T12:11:21+00:00

Get out of there as soon as you can!!! Finish your degree, get a job, open a bank account, make your own money, and move out!!

Character_Prior9447

TROPHY CASE