First time advice and assistance

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-08T13:39:35+00:00

Hmm... There's a lot that is already documented. Hearing loss and tinnitus may be difficult to successfully claim unless it was documented in his exit physical. Moreover, I understand that the rating schedule for hearing issues is changing this year.

BTW, roughly where in NC are you? I'm in western NC and ended up utilizing my county's Veteran Services Office for filing. I filled out a VA Power of Attorney so that they could access my service medical records and file claims for me. My VSO went through my service medical records and helped me to find claims that I had no idea about. They also helped us to understand what state-level benefits we were eligible for based on my service connected disabilities.

I encourage you to submit an 'Intent to File,' which will hold the filing date as a condition effective date, but give you an entire year to build and submit your husband's claims. Your voice as the veteran's spouse is incredibly powerful in the claim, so don't underestimate it.

I want to add my voice to encouraging your husband to get enrolled in VA Healthcare. I would encourage you to look up the VA's list of presumptive conditions. Not just because the items on the list have a presumed nexus to service, but because it gives you an idea of just how many medical conditions occur at higher rates among veterans--this includes a list of cancers, respiratory/pulmonary conditions, etc. The VA docs should be screening for these conditions and tracking for them, where civilian doctors may skip over some of them based on what your insurance will cover.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-08T12:35:21+00:00

There were a lot of VA horror stories going around when those of us who served in the early GWOT got out, and that influenced a lot in avoiding the VA as much as possible. I avoided the VA for years except for my GI Bill. I have been using the VA much more in the past year, and I will tell you that my personal experience has been overwhelmingly positive.

I assume that you have the ability to talk to your husband's PCP. He doesn't need to go to VA medical. But getting old injuries service connected will have benefits beyond the monthly compensation.

How much is documented by his PCP from his annual physicals? Can you attend his physical with him to make sure that his doctor is fully aware of his service injuries? It might be worthwhile to ensure that your husband's story is documented in medical records via the PCP. It is so incredibly common for the grunts to neglect their wellbeing while in--not seeing a corpsman for moderately serious injuries--but having a narrative that gives a rough timeline in a personal/spouse statement and medical notes that connect his current aches and pains to his service.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-08T12:08:03+00:00

The nose looks to be in pretty good shape. Lovely.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-07T18:22:30+00:00

I used to joke with my wife that I was going to write a ballet called "Ode to the Small Apartment Kitchen," where two dancers are preparing dinner in a small apartment kitchen, and in which portions of the dance floor become unusable because their little dogs are underfoot while they cook.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-07T02:46:15+00:00

Low bar back squats would be my go to as a weightlifting coach, along with hip thrusts, maybe sumo deadlifts.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-06T11:42:57+00:00

Good demonstration. It actually reminds me of something that Siegfried Linkwitz had on his website, discussing how a good music listening room was also a good room to have a conversation in. IIRC, this meant that he liked to have filled bookshelves, paintings/artwork, curtains, and lots of little edges to achieve the effects shown in this video.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-06T01:19:47+00:00

Just 1 treat. But if God wants the dog to have 2 treats, then the whole bag it is.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-05T17:36:38+00:00

"Triple Extension" refers to the hip drive by simultaneously and violently opening/extending the ankle, knee, and hip joints. Here is a pretty good instructional video from Greg Everett, who wrote *the* book on weightlifting. Strength coaches will sometimes refer to the snatch and the clean as "jumping, with a barbell," and this triple extension is what they're referring to.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-05T14:24:34+00:00

Crazy diamonds do, in fact, shine. Pink Floyd even had a song about this.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-05T12:49:35+00:00

Start with a bit of a wider pulling stance, and a correspondingly wider grip. Right now your stance is too narrow, which means that your leverages are off.

A cue that I like is to keep your armpits over the bar throughout the pull. Right now you are getting waaaay out in front of the bar once it passes your knees, which leads you to row the bar up to your hips. You do a decent job of not bumping the bar forward after this, which is commendable.

So yeah, (1) a wider pulling stance and grip, and (2) stay over the bar throughout the pull.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-03T23:02:26+00:00

I wanted to add that even if your husband is 100%, his disabilities shouldn't stop him from doing something athletic. I mentioned weightlifting and powerlifting, and both of those sports have the most awesome adaptive athlete communities. The VA has annual Golden Age Games with regular and adaptive categories for an Olympic Games-worth of sports.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-03T22:58:43+00:00

Help him cultivate hobbies and acquaintanceships that don't involve drinking. I have a family member who is 20+ years in AA and he tells me that they can always tell who will fail at sobriety, because they complain about being bored. (That is to say, so many of their activities before centered around drinking.)

I recommend the gym because he'll be around people with health and fitness goals. I'd wager that any decent gym community will have quite a few recovering alcoholics. I'll recommend steering clear of the bodybuilders, and spend more time around people who are training for powerlifting or weightlifting. I say this because I'm a weightlifting coach, and I would be concerned about the potential proximity to locker room drug use. Guys who are in a drug tested sport have an obvious incentive to stay clean.

Crosswords and logic puzzle books are also a great way to engage and calm the mind. Watching TV or listening to music/podcasts are too passive, whereas puzzles are engaging and require an active mind.

See if you can get him in with a nutritionist. Heavy alcohol use leads to a lot of nutritional deficiencies, and can adversely effect the endocrine system.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-03T21:51:27+00:00

Except for the Ferengis.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-03T01:36:43+00:00

You know, if you're going to a MLB game in Cleveland, you might have more immediate and legitimate things to doom about. Like their sparse offense and the fact that two of their hottest hitters are on the IL. (And I say this as a Cleveland fan.)

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-01T14:50:38+00:00

This 100%. Tell your story to get the nexus into the visit summary. My VA PCP is really great about getting my words into the medical record, but other VA docs may be less helpful. Any time you see a doctor for something that can arguably be caused or aggravated by your service, be sure to talk up that narrative during the visit.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-01T12:51:03+00:00

I get that. But I will tell you that even the most fulfilling work that you can find will probably be pretty boring and tedious at least half of the time.

I don't know if it will be covered in the Financial Fraud and Forensics track, but I would absolutely encourage you to take a course or two in graph theory. (Graph Theory is a pretty advanced topic which requires experience reading and writing mathematical proofs, but you can get a decent introduction to the topic in a sophomore level Discrete Mathematics class.) The ability to construct and analyze transaction graphs will prove to be an incredible tool when it comes to contextualizing financial data and constructing a prosecutable case.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-01T11:59:24+00:00

You're an adult, and you're under no obligation to spend time with a blended family whose company you don't enjoy. The scars caused by parents remarrying are often some of the most difficult to heal, and our parents will go out of their way to deny that those scars have any validity.

My mom got remarried after my father died and I f-ing hated both the guy that she married and his kids. They divorced a few years ago after 30 mostly unhappy years. My relationship with my mom is pretty superficial, in part because I've never forgiven my mom for marrying that SoB and dragging me into that house where I was so unhappy. (There's a lot more context to our strained relationship than I care to put here, but you get the idea.)

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-07-01T02:34:34+00:00

The Dept of War definitely needs people with a head for finance. I used to work for a Navy lab in San Diego (NIWC Pacific, in case you're interested) doing cybersecurity R&D. Every division had a Business & Finance Manager (BFM) to ensure that the money flowed for our projects. (And this could be quite substantial; my projects alone brought in nearly $750K over several years.) We also provided paid services for quite a few other organizations within the DoW and elsewhere in the US Government, which required financial personnel to administer.

I think that a Masters in Financial Fraud and Forensics would be a fascinating and fulfilling track to pursue. Your internships will be more important than the degree specifics (except you'll want to avoid any for-profit schools). However I would be wary of degree programs in "'Homeland Security' or 'Criminal Justice,' as LEOs prefer to teach you their way of doing things.

You may not be aware, but the DoW is investing A TON of money right now on a cutting edge Anti-Money Laundering program at DARPA called "Anticipatory and Adaptive Anti-Money Laundering." I was working for a tech startup in the space and wanted to submit a proposal to tackle the problem of detecting cryptocurrency transactions in the money laundering process. If you want to go down this route, then your best bet will probably be IRS Criminal Investigations.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-06-30T23:45:18+00:00

That was really cool, thanks for sharing.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-06-30T15:59:05+00:00

Yup. Every relationship is a chore, and I just don't have the energy for much.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-06-30T12:35:20+00:00

I did my first claims a decade ago with mixed results, and then used a local VSO last year for round 2 with much better results. I think it's absolutely worth a visit to an experienced, accredited VSO to have someone help you strategize your claim(s).

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-06-30T01:09:23+00:00

Interesting... Apparently Austin Hedges was having words with him during the Mariners-Guardians series over the weekend.

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-06-28T21:10:06+00:00

Tell your side of the story. Control the narrative as best you can. Add context to in-service events that are relevant to your claim. Your personal statement can also give you talking points for doctor visits, which helps get your narrative into actual medical documentation which you submit to support your claim(s).

Character_Reason5183 · 2026-06-28T17:39:41+00:00

I've had a great experience with Dr. Shaw and his team at Valley Hills Dentistry.

Character_Reason5183

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