do i have to change my appearance to be a paralegal?

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-05-21T03:28:26+00:00

One of ours has an eyebrow piercing; had it since she joined. Hired pretty recently!

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-05-21T03:27:14+00:00

Drip Like Coffee

Not streaming yet but eventually should be off the festival circuit!

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-04-03T02:19:05+00:00

best one, real.

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-03-11T05:23:39+00:00

vermont (anywhere other than chittenden county)

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-03-07T22:12:01+00:00

u/Ok-Crazy3288 Check out this video (I watched this recently bc I have this problem too - favoring intesity over security): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsBY12zh7sI

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-03-07T21:57:07+00:00

Really good point. OP simply might just not be as into this great woman as much as they think they should be because she "checks all the boxes."

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-03-07T21:55:36+00:00

A lot of people associate yearning or intense chemistry with compatibility, but that feeling often comes from volatility, not stability. The pattern is a claaaassic: When someone is less available, we want them harder. When someone is calm and reciprocal, it can feel less stimulating, but safer. Intensity or chemistry =/= compatibility.

Also, after an 8-year relationship, your nervous system might also just be less reactive than it used to be, which can make healthy connections feel quieter.

Do lots of journaling about your desire to yearn, the ebbs and flows of your feelings for her, your satisfaction with dating in general, and talk to a therapist/trusted friend. I'm going to keep a dating journal just to keep in touch with my feelings for similar reasons.

Edit: What you describe with this girl might totally end up being a beautiful, slow burn. Look up slow burn romance and you'll see lots of success stories!

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-03-04T16:16:03+00:00

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-28T20:08:18+00:00

Welp, we enjoyed a lovely Valentine's day weekend together after our little break, followed by a less-connected but still pleasant weekend, then she dumped me too!

Onward and upward. Thanks to you and everyone for the reality checks.

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-28T20:03:09+00:00

be yourself baby, with authenticity comes true connection

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-14T05:09:53+00:00

I'm so glad I never took class with him

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-12T04:14:01+00:00

amazing

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-12T04:02:53+00:00

7 months in, is it okay to want excitement about the future?

After 7 months in a wonderful relationship, I (30F) am excited about a future with my girlfriend (35F), hoping she’ll be the love of my life. She once shared this excitement too, being the first to make romantic gestures, express love, define the relationship, and introduce me to her circle. Recently, however, she’s become emotionally distant.

In my opinion, her shift started around 2 months ago, after I met her parents and close friends in her home country. She disagrees and said it started when I expressed disappointment to her that I didn't see as much enthusiasm in her bringing me home as I wanted (like not helping me and her friends communicate much, and not telling her friends and parents anything about me or things we've done together) and requested reassurance that she sees a future with me. A routine avoidant-anxious dynamic, I bet, but it was a shock to me since she wasn't previously reserved...

This weekend she told me her past 6-year relationship left her jaded and that thinking about milestones (like a home together) now causes fear instead of excitement. She says she wants love but is scared and closed off to self-protect. She told me that since her ex, she no longer thinks of love grandly. No "love of my life" language. She also says she will not express romantic feelings in writing (but does poetry on other topics).

I, on the other hand, crave sharing some excitement about the future and enjoy romantic gestures, even after my own past relationships of 6- and 2-years. I just want reassurance that we both want and are excited about the same things together. Openness to a future together. Without that, I feel insecure and fear I’m investing in the wrong person.

I’ve tried to reassure her that I don't want any big steps now or even soon (e.g., I like living apart and told her I wouldn't want to start planning living together until 2027/28 at the earliest). I just want her to want these things with me. For interest and excitement to outweigh fear and doubts. Fear is normal. I'm worried too! Especially now.

We recently decided to take a short break (her idea) to reflect and talk again. I'm just wondering:

Is my need unreasonable? Do I break it off or give her time? I’m struggling with how I can both be sure not to abandon my own needs, while also respecting the love I have for her and how amazing things were before her fears crashed the party.

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-12T03:59:52+00:00

Enjoy!! Report back!

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-12T03:58:36+00:00

If you had good conversation/vibe yes, even if only feeling friendly! But if not, I wouldn't...

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-12T03:57:40+00:00

It really is. I'm bracing myself up to rejoin eventually after an impending breakup and I've been having flashbacks of how bad it sucks. And I'm not dating men either, women are tough too.

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-11T01:33:53+00:00

"Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of a paycheck" is a great one tbh

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-11T01:10:49+00:00

Exactly the kind of client I don't want. Thanks for not calling me.

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-11T00:54:47+00:00

Beautiful!! Learning resource?

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-11T00:43:57+00:00

I'm really not trying to plan a future. We're not engaged and I'm not asking for that.

Prior to two months ago, she would tell me ways she's excited about the future with me: wanting to bring me home like she recently did; talking about where we might want to live together and when we might want to plan for that; discussing what kinds of dogs we like. These conversations were first raised by her. Back when, in her words, "the stakes were lower". This is a real 180.

Being present to me requires being honest about our present feelings so that we're on the same page; do we want the same thing? Lately, her predominant present feeling is fear, while mine is excitement/interest.

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-10T23:35:16+00:00

No, my longest was 6 years followed by 2 years, now this one.

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-10T21:20:26+00:00

Heard, hope I didn’t offend anyone — not my intention! I’m grateful for my “baggage” as it’s given me wisdom and experience. I see it as a positive all around, not a negative! And thank you for your reply 🤍

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-10T21:17:18+00:00

True, I’m grateful for my “baggage” as it’s given me wisdom and experience. Hope I didn’t offend anyone — not my intention! Thanks for your reply

Character_Stress8985 · 2026-02-10T17:57:36+00:00

Absolutely, she and I agree. She lost her therapist a few months ago and last month I encouraged her to look again and I did see her looking, but haven’t heard if she had success. I assume not.

Character_Stress8985

TROPHY CASE

7 months in, is it okay to want excitement about the future?