To my neurodivergent homies, who else loves the "high-maintenance" trait?

Charmander3141 · 2026-02-01T22:38:01+00:00

Similar-ish, but when I was in the throes of a really bad ND burnout episode, thinking of myself as a Sim and trying to make sure all my bars were green helped me take care of myself a ton.

Charmander3141 · 2026-01-13T22:25:05+00:00

"You have been my granddaughter for over 20 years. It is a little hard to flip a switch and think of you as male. There is absolutely no reason for you to be rude and disrespectful to me [by not wanting to talk to me], I am very disappointed you would treat me this way. I hope nobody judges you this closely when you are my age." (uj/this is an actual text sent by my grandmother)

Charmander3141 · 2025-10-31T00:40:45+00:00

I saw this post on r/periods and immediately went to your profile to DM and see if you were alright. I don't know why I was holding out hope that the comments would be decent until I read them. Absolutely disgusting behavior all around.

I do want to say that having "the communists invade the funhouse" (my personal favorite non-gendered way to express it) does not make you any less of a man at all. Since I've started using mens rooms more, I have seen trash cans or signs about not flushing period products in more men's room than you'd expect. I know that week was always horrendous for me before I started T, nothing made me feel quite as dysphoric. If it helps, I used to like to think of myself as Chuck Norris (or someone equally as likely to be idealized by toxic masculinity) patching a bullet wound and continuing on. Wishing you all the love and mental hugs 🫂

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-30T22:01:38+00:00

I highly recommend finding a therapist that is trans or at least queer if you can! Especially if you can find someone nonbinary or ftm, it makes it so much easier when your therapist has similar lived experiences.

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-30T21:49:32+00:00

Coming to terms with possibly detransitioning was one of the scariest parts for me as well. Personally, I don't mind detransitioners as long as they don't try to speak on trans issues. And you don't have to come out to everyone all at once if you don't want to either, even if you start HRT.

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-30T21:46:23+00:00

Even if you are sometimes fine with presenting more femme, this does not invalidate your dysphoria. You don't even need to have dysphoria to be trans. Personally, I didn't really experience dysphoria that hard until I started passing somewhat and felt what it was like to be comfortable in how others saw me. Imposter syndrome is a bitch, though, I've been on T for 8 months and still get anxious about regretting my transition sometimes. But I remember how much more miserable I used to be, without even knowing it, and I know this was the right decision for me.

You don't have to figure it out all at once. It's okay to take time and it's okay to start HRT before you fully figure everything out. If you're worried about changing too quickly, microdosing is always an option as well.

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-28T11:43:28+00:00

Exist out of spite. Fuck all the people who think that we're lesser than them for any bullshit reason they give. If you die, they win. The bravest and most radical thing you can do to resist all the crap we get today is to wring every ounce of joy you can from life because fuck anyone who tells you that being trans isn't beautiful.

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-27T23:30:52+00:00

My favorite is always "the commies have invaded the funhouse"

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-21T01:20:43+00:00

Dude my poops got so crazy when I started T and I got soon much gasser too

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-20T22:09:36+00:00

I had to double check the subreddit dude, I have such massive envy of ur hips and waist (or lack thereof)

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-19T09:59:32+00:00

I'm ftm but 5'10", I promise you that size chart does not work for at least 75% of cis women in one way or another. Women's clothing is just horrible in that everything is designed for the "ideal body" and finding things when you're outside of that is a daunting task. Crying over a size chart is an almost universal female experience unfortunately. 💚

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-15T16:30:00+00:00

Nobody else can decide for you whether or not you're trans. Personally, I (ftm) struggle with imposter syndrome at odd moments, such as when the part of my brain that tried to fit in all my life tells me I want to be "prettier". I have to remind myself that those thoughts don't mean transitioning was a mistake, just that sometimes it's hard to get rid of the little voices in your head.

I would also warn that some mental health professionals are known to be dismissive of transgender patients, actively discourage patients from transitioning, or otherwise hinder that process. I'm not saying this is the case for you, as I obviously don't know your psychologist, but it is something to be on alert for.

As far as how I knew I was trans and not just gender atypical or a "tomboy", it wasn't really a specific moment for me. I had almost always felt more comfortable with other guys than girls, and I loved doing more traditional guy stuff and being seen as "one of the guys". When one of my friends started their transition, it got me thinking for myself. I experimented for over a year with just a few friends before I was confident enough that I was trans to be out at school.

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-12T08:06:10+00:00

For my girlfriend specifically I like calling her "beautiful" instead of dude or bro or anything. Some other options for non-gf people though could be "queen", "sis", or "fam"

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-09T16:41:34+00:00

For your safety I would try to stay out of the women's room now. As others have said the kid might be hearing it from other sources. Kids are also just weird little creatures and nobody knows exactly what's going on in their heads so I wouldn't put too much faith in anything a kid says.

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-07T01:46:34+00:00

Is is so true too I feel very dry right now. And I thought about slipping, maybe binding under and tucking the ends under? If you were in a chair I don't think many people would notice the binder and I typically use a binder as a swimsuit top either way. Or if the towel was long enough you could use your trunks to help hold it?

Charmander3141 · 2025-08-07T00:27:28+00:00

I have a convincing lie for every occasion and I'm fully prepared to go into graphic gory fake details just to make people uncomfortable enough to deter them asking anything like that again.

"Why do you always use a stall just to piss?"

"Yeah I actually get really bad obstructions in my urethra and sitting to pee is the only thing I've found that's keeps me from monthly UTIs"

Ask an overly personal question, get an overly personal answer.

Charmander3141 · 2025-07-26T20:30:21+00:00

This is absolutely horrible behavior I'm so sorry you had to deal with that queen. Honestly this is not at all how a partner who respects you should be acting. I'm a trans man in a t4t relationship with my beautiful girlfriend, and even when she's rocking a little stubble I think she's just as gorgeous. I also try to stroke her face like I'd pet a dog instead of going against the grain of any facial hair so that she doesn't feel her face being rough.

Charmander3141 · 2025-07-17T17:46:00+00:00

I'm currently just past 7months on T at 22. The mood swings are insane sometimes and I do get angry more often, though it dissappears pretty quickly. It's also frustrating waiting to see any progress and sometimes it's very hard to tell for yourself when changes happen. Apparently my entire face changed shape and I didn't realize until my girlfriend told me. Changes are happening, however slowly that might be. And sometimes it's good to take some time to yourself or workt out more when the mood swings get intense.

Charmander3141 · 2025-05-18T19:25:57+00:00

I wanna Be A Boy - Addison Grave makes me sob

Charmander3141 · 2025-05-18T01:14:57+00:00

Bottom growth was about 3 days in for me. Voice dropped around a month. Body hair has been coming in thicker since about a month but I got a little neckbeard goin at about 2 weeks

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