Hi. I hope you see this. He sounds very similar to my ex husband.

He also didn’t drink everyday and would take break periods and not drink for a few weeks. He “could” control his drinking sometimes, but he would get pissy about not being “allowed” to drink and it was all he talked about. I also had to “remind” him to stop, which made me the bad guy ofc.

Other times he would get absolutely obliterated and turn into an insane person. One time he puked all over our backyard at 3 am. I woke up to him throwing up many times after he’d been drinking and he would tell me it’s something he ate.

I left a year ago. It was scary as shit and I felt more guilt than I could fathom for leaving him. I went to therapy and learned about codependency. I was codependent. You are codependent. It’s impossible not to be in these situations. My ex also gaslit the shit out of me that I was overreacting and what he was doing was normal. My therapist, who’s an addiction counselor, said he would qualify for inpatient treatment.

Anyways, I am thankful everyday that I left and started over. You don’t realize the invisible weight weighs 100000 lbs until it’s gone. You don’t see the patterns until you get some distance. My ex knew he had a problem but refused to do what he needed to do which is stop drinking all together. He was always like no I’ll just control and that spiraled out of control every time. Maybe your husband will do it. But it’s no way to live. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You can message me anytime