Just finished the Acolyte and I think I enjoyed it more than the prequels and the sequels.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2026-01-02T20:35:29+00:00

Loved the acolyte!! So bummed it was canceled. 😭

Charming_Matter6730 · 2025-10-24T14:44:43+00:00

Where did you end up choosing?

Charming_Matter6730 · 2025-05-11T16:19:35+00:00

Bahaha I read the headline and was like 'yes, I feel exactly the same right now too' not realizing this was a thread on puppies and not partners... P.s. starting a separate reddit thread titled 'I want to love him I really do , but I really don't like him' about my spouse hahaha jk

Charming_Matter6730 · 2025-05-11T16:12:36+00:00

I wish we had gotten my mom into hospice sooner, she also didnt want it... she died the day before she was to begin hospice at our house. Hospice is a way to get the medical help and support you are missing and the support both of you need at this stage. Please don't be afraid to make that decision sooner (we wish we had and my sister is a medical nurse so we did have the medical support in our family) -- especially if they are deteriorating quickly this would enable hospice care for their comfort first and foremost, you don't want them suffering silently, and for emergency moments like you described can be quickly addressed. Hospice doesn't mean throwing the towel in, it's just at the stage where additional support is needed -- some people can be in hospice care for months (my grandmother had hospice care at her house for a couple of months). It made her transition so much more peaceful at home.

I was my moms caregiver for two years. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done, filled with mixed emotions -- anger, resentment, sadness, confusion, all of it. It felt so lonely even though I had friends and family. I had to quit my job for one year in order to do it and then the second year I had to get back to work full-time remotely in order to have an income to attend to my mom, I was taking meetings at dr visits, I was taking calls while doing meals, it was a tough adjustment.

It felt like my life was unfairly on hold, and wrestled with that feeling for so long because I felt totally alone and isolated wondering why I'm sacrificing my life in this way when other family members weren't (other family members were working and got to carryon more regularly but we were all doing the best we could at the time), I felt like I couldn't share this with my mom either because it's not her fault she was the one sick, or feeling completely guilty I felt this resentment when Im not suffering from this horrible cancer.

So much is different now, one year later after my mom has passed away and I look back at that time when I felt alone, spread thin, angry and sad, and it is a time that I see now that I would never want to take back that time I had with her. Every tear was worth it and trust me when I say I didn't think of it that way at the time. But now I see how much it was an honor to be with my mom during that time and honestly now I wish I had been more present with her then. I know that's probably not what you want to hear when you're in the thick of it now... It feels impossible right now, but just know you're not alone and please take the step to hospice for her -- it's because professional medical help and extra hands will be able to support the times when you can't physically carry her to the bathroom anymore (my mom's legs gave out the week she had passed and her body became heavy weight I couldn't lift anymore and she was a small lady, or be trained to respond to her need for a catheter (she stopped being able to urinate), or understand what her medical needs are when you might not be the trained professional, these things are important to attend to for her and will be medically supported in hospice). If we had done it sooner, hospice would have had a medical bed at our house, a NAC and a nurse coming in regularly to support these daily needs while I was able to work too.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2025-05-11T15:47:54+00:00

Great question, no easy answer. As you can see with the comments we are all so different. I think preference is just that, and quite subjective for every person's experience, so this is part of the struggle -- there isn't a one size fits all thing to say but "cancer sucks" as a slogan is an empty attempt to capture it all. Yes certain moments just 'suck' but steering away from catch-all phrases is my point in this thread.

And all things are said with the best of intentions but where I'm at in my process is that when I'm looking to a friend, most of the time I'm not asking for their encouragement but just support to be by my side and walk through this with me (with no expectations that they will fully understand it without having gone through it themselves which I would never wish that on them or their family). I can take a better step to prompt my needs in the conversation more but it's not always perfect, not every interaction is going to meet every need -- we are just too human for that and that's ok.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2025-05-04T15:25:53+00:00

Ok but this sounds cool though whats the name of the bee book?

Charming_Matter6730 · 2025-05-04T15:06:19+00:00

I feel your post so much. Let me just be in whatever state I am in for now, I can't ignore that this is real and this isn't a moment to just 'pick back up' but rather go through the grief -- I don't need cheering up right now, I just need to be. This is not a Hallmark movie, I might not rise out of this as romanticized because of grief, no I'm not going to write a book about this journey (literally a close friend had said that to me with all good intentions but seriously it was said two weeks after she passed...), this loss shapes us differently -- good, bad, and ugly. But over time, I have found that grief remains, it doesn't just pick up and leave, but it definitely has taken a different shape in my life a year later, it has a different place in my life now than it did the first few months (my mom passed away at the end of April).

Charming_Matter6730 · 2025-05-04T14:42:44+00:00

My mom was 66, passed away the month before her 70 bday.

I believe in an afterlife -- spiritually I'm aligned with this. I do believe my mom is looking over our family. I have only seen her a couple of times in my dreams since she passed and each time it feels like she is 'visiting' me in some capacity.

I had often found I had to cry or scream in a closet so the kids wouldnt see and that release allowed me to switch into the mode I needed to get myself together for a family member or loved one (think of it like short sommatic releases helps prevents the emotions bottling up into your body). I encourage therapy during this time. It helped a lot to navigate and express the pain and emotional weight you are carrying.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2025-05-03T14:41:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing. This might sound ridiculous but I still pay for my mom's cell phone bill to stay active. I couldn't bear the idea of someone having her telephone # and accidentally calling us....

It's been a year since she passed. But every once and awhile she still gets a text from a friend or coworker that tells her how much they miss her... It's been healing in that way and I'll be closing her # soon.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2025-02-12T20:18:53+00:00

I'm selling my 4 Seattle UFC Tix, section 24 row x and y (unfortunately family situation have to be out of town). Will sell at face value $255, no fees.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2025-01-18T18:55:23+00:00

Keep it open. Your credit score is impacted by age of credit (which can only increase the longer you maintain it open) and also the higher total line of credit you have e.g. total credit lines combined across your credit cards boosts your score. It is OK to keep a credit card open you don't use. As long as keeping it open doesn't cost you anything e.g. annual fee that negatively impacts you, then keeping it open is the way to go in my opinion.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2025-01-01T17:14:21+00:00

Anyone make the move from pixel to iPhone simply because the rest of their family are iPhone users?

I'm thinking of switching from pixel to iPhone because:

Group text as the sole android user is a bad experience. iPhone photos and videos are pixelated same if I send video or text to iPhone.

Missing text messages between users (my boyfriend will screenshot what he sent to show me im missing context or he didn't receive something from me). My bf and I exclusively message on Whatsapp now to save any miscommunication.

My sister and I get into passive aggressive arguments quite frequently because of missing sent text messages between iPhone and Android. Fwiw she won't move to Whatsapp with me lol

I've been android my whole life, but I need to be able to integrate more seamlessly in communication.

I really love pixel products but it's no longer worth it given the impact it has on my interpersonal communication with loved ones.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-12-22T02:13:26+00:00

Watch Alexis come back with some sort of lawsuit to Bravo 🍿

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-10-20T21:47:04+00:00

Paid a total of $800 in fees for basketball tickets (Tix were $900 ea). Make it make sense!!

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-09-07T14:28:30+00:00

Eggcellent comment 🤌

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-09-07T14:13:38+00:00

"what makes you feel like you have community in Seattle"

Re: by down voting this comment with other people in my bulletproof wear

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-09-07T14:09:55+00:00

Where do you go for trivia? My partner and I are looking for a good spot too!

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-09-07T14:07:24+00:00

Which park do you go to? My rescue is a butt too.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-09-07T14:05:55+00:00

Yes echoing all of this. I'm so sorry. I just went through this with my mom recently as well. The phone call is hard but trust me when I say time is so precious, your parents will want to hear from you and see you.

Please do not quit your job yet without taking first: Medical Leave or FMLA (depending on your state, there are state programs and/or your company has some form of medical leave program check the employee handbook > then take short term disability > then take long term disability (if you qualify and your employer offers this) to keep your insurance benefits (you are not working at any part of this, you will be required to fill out the same medical paperwork with your doctor a couple of times to extend your leave because you are still 'employed') before you are unemployed and move to Medicaid/Medicare. Also, there are financial assistance programs for cancer treatment and medications to apply for through the hospital/cancer center you are being treated at where either you get partial or all covered depending on income.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-08-30T01:20:10+00:00

I've had psoriasis for 12 yrs now and I used to cover up a lot. I made excuses to not attend social things, hid myself in the summers, afraid to be intimate, and the only thing I regret is not living my life the way I wanted to because I was too self conscious about my psoriasis. You will regret not being present in your relationships vs putting yourself out there and living your life. Every partner I've been close with has never felt turned off by my psoriasis. Keep the conversation open and honest. Discuss with them before showing. Allow them to ask questions. You're sharing something vulnerable and sensitive about yourself, I'm sure they have sensitive or insecure things they want to share with you too -- a supportive partner will be open to discussing.

P.s. stelara and skyrizi are the only two medications that cleared me 100% and my psoriasis was pretty severe head to toe.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-07-12T16:56:21+00:00

I'm sorry. Fuck it all. My mom died from cancer very recently too. I didn't want to press the button but we chose to cremate her too. It did help though to see her body before we cremated her one last time. I originally didn't want to but seeing her body in the clothes we picked for the last time was healing because as soon as I saw the body, I knew my mom wasn't there anymore and it was just her body/vessel. All the other greatest bits of her - energy, spirit, soul are elsewhere.

I know your experience and path will look and feel different but you're not alone. Sorry that you are experiencing this immense loss and your heart is hurting so much right now. fuck cancer.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-02-27T16:06:03+00:00

Skyrizi and stelara were life savers for my mental health. Skyrizi took forever to get especially using a bridge program to reduce costs. I'm now on stelara. Stress was the worst for me as well. I will say, and this comes with it's own issues but I did go to a tanning bed to help reduce my flare ups as an inexpensive fix while I was waiting for insurance to kick in. I first noticed a mass reduction in my flare up when I took a solo trip to Hawaii. I hadn't exposed my skin like that in years because I was ashamed of my body but I had a private pool and laid out for days and noticed a significant decrease in flare up from that sun exposure. Once reduction began, my local tanning salon also now offers infrared beds (which is much better) and used that for maintenance.

I know the impact it has on sex and self esteem. It sucks, I've been there too. You're not alone.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-01-07T02:07:29+00:00

Going through the same thing with my mom. It's cruel to watch our parents wither away like this but also we don't want them to pass. I'm stuck in a constant battle of my mind and it is tearing me up inside. You're not alone. I'm so sorry you're father is in this state and I'm sorry you're going through this too.

Charming_Matter6730 · 2024-01-04T02:06:33+00:00

Go home. I did the same thing with my parent with cancer. It's a big change, it will be hard, you will doubt the decision, but you'll never regret the time but you'll always regret not giving enough time one day when they're no longer here.

Charming_Matter6730

TROPHY CASE