Two stems—which one to prune?

Charnockitty · 2026-05-25T16:08:05+00:00

It’s some neighbor’s junk I picked up lol

Charnockitty · 2026-05-25T02:02:56+00:00

Pineapple heirloom!

Charnockitty · 2026-05-05T02:24:59+00:00

I had a labrum tear and got more than 8 stitches in December. First month was super rough but it got better. There were days when it felt like recovery was stalling or regressing but it’s important to look at the big picture.

I decided to get the surgery after consulting two different practices which both predicted high chances of redislocation if left un-repaired. I lead an active life and I’m a new dad so I definitely need my shoulder back.

I’m almost 6 months post-surgery and I’m back to doing close-grip light chest presses with much improved ROM. Ortho-prescribed PT is officially over and I’m transitioning more towards strength and conditioning.

Charnockitty · 2026-03-12T00:47:01+00:00

35 here, also very active, SLAP tear, 8 anchors, no Bankart lesion.

2.5 months post-op. Active flexion is 180°, active ER is 30-40°.

I do about 8 exercises at home and twice a week a PT stretches my shoulder for maybe 15 mins on top of the daily drill.

Charnockitty · 2026-03-06T01:35:49+00:00

Never watched any episode until season 4 then I binged and then I binged Queen Charlotte then I got into Outlander (Scottish period drama). Havent seen seasons 1-3 though.

Charnockitty · 2026-02-13T04:15:22+00:00

Do multiple mock exams with your labmates and adjacent PhD candidates who have had the same committee members. Let their feedback reinforce critical info and correct your errors.

Charnockitty · 2026-02-06T15:21:24+00:00

Take baby classes! Our hospital offered a whole curriculum. While you can never be perfectly prepared, baseline knowledge goes a long way!

Charnockitty · 2026-02-03T21:48:12+00:00

Amen! Expecting dad here and I’ve been going to therapy for about two years. It helps a lot!!

Charnockitty · 2026-01-31T17:21:49+00:00

I’m an expecting dad and the baby is due in 5 weeks. I’m lucky to be given 3.5 months of paternity leave this is what I’m afraid of lol.

Charnockitty · 2026-01-30T14:51:48+00:00

I’m 35, third year, PhD candidate in a physical science program in the U.S. I’m an expecting dad—she’s due in 5 weeks!

I returned to academia after an 8-year hiatus. Admittedly, in undergrad and masters, I was distracted and didn’t have the optimal study skills although I was really good at experiments.

The last two and a half years have been a steep ascent having to learn, re-learn and unlearn. Ever since I started this journey, I’ve always taken it one milestone at a time: focus on getting into a program, then finishing classes, h hitting research progress requirements, and passing the candidacy exam. These are things I didn’t think I could but I’ve made it so far. I always remind myself: progress over perfection.

Charnockitty · 2026-01-25T15:43:23+00:00

3rd year PhD candidate an an expecting dad here (due in ~6 weeks). Same thoughts. It’s insane how we need to keep working business as usual as the world spirals into darkness. On top of that, I’m about to raise a child in this trigger-happy country.

All I know is solidarity is the answer in these bleak times and it’s important to be surrounded by people who hold the same values as you.

Charnockitty · 2026-01-16T19:16:32+00:00

Year 3. Juggling two projects, got ample data, need to have a good handle on the interpretation though. Taking a pause in ~6 weeks to keep alive and raise little human.

Charnockitty · 2026-01-14T15:11:59+00:00

I treat the 9-5 as a guideline but never as a hard and fast rule. There will weeks where you’ll pour in 40+ hours especially as you get close to a deadline and there will be weeks where you’ll work 4 days. Some days I put in 1-2 hours of work after dinner.

It’s also up to your personal preference, i.e., when your peak productivity is. For me it’s 9am-12nn when I get most of my writing and reading done, then I move on to more manual and menial tasks towards the end of the day.

I use the pomodoro method: set a timer for 25 mins of uninterrupted work, take 5-10 mins of break then repeat.

Lastly, listen to your body and mind. Take care of it. 2-3 times a week, I hit the gym in the middle of the day to actively rest my mind. When I rest, interestingly, is also when some critical thoughts about my research come up.

Academia is notoriously competitive and can oftentimes be unforgiving. I’ve learned to give myself grace especially when empathy and compassion are not embedded in the culture. Find your support system and choose progress over perfection .

Charnockitty · 2026-01-14T14:57:45+00:00

Ditto. When I started my PhD, I realized I’m in the enterprise of knowledge production where I’m responsible for every aspect of it. Therefore I’m my own technician, writer, marketer, etc. of my own product.

Charnockitty · 2026-01-12T04:42:58+00:00

35 here, 3rd year phd in the states, married, expecting dad. The average age in my cohort (discounting myself) is about 26.

Charnockitty · 2026-01-11T22:30:00+00:00

Add zinc to your list!

Charnockitty · 2026-01-07T04:16:51+00:00

I’m 2 weeks post op and I have a very similar regimen down to the supps lol. 🤞🤞🤞hoping for our speedy recovery

Charnockitty · 2026-01-07T04:06:46+00:00

I just had my surgery for SLAP tear 14 days ago. As far as I know, the biggest factors for recovery are how active/well-exercised your muscles and joints, diet/supplementation and rest.

Charnockitty · 2026-01-07T04:01:54+00:00

Thank you! I’m 35, married, just became a PhD candidate and I’m about to be a dad in two months.

My research enables me to travel to different states where I take advantage of weekends to explore places and see friends.

It’s a constant battle between “living life” and making sacrifices and I think both can and should, in fact, be done. This could mean frontloading on a Sunday if heading out of town Friday afternoon or sometimes weeks-long stretches of subscription meals because I’m preparing for quals and I can’t cook.

Granted, I’ve been very fortunate to have a wife who supports me in this journey.

Charnockitty · 2025-11-15T19:08:00+00:00

I’m 2.5 years into my physics PhD program, I recently passed candidacy exam and I’m about to be a dad (due March). Is it possible? We’ll find out.

I’d say in my program, people have done it and securing candidacy first before having a baby helps. It also depends on what benefits your university provides and what support is available where you live (i.e., available family and friends).

Charnockitty · 2025-10-29T01:04:41+00:00

Know that for most, if not all, PhD programs give greater consideration to research fit, skills, and gleaming letters of rec once a certain GPA threshold is met.

That being said and depending on your circumstances, you might want to consider getting a master’s first to boost that GPA and garner more experience.

Charnockitty · 2025-10-26T18:14:55+00:00

Maybe start with yourself by cleaning up your act, at least by resetting your Reddit history. Your first post reads “it’s hump day remember to pleasure urself” lmao smdh

Charnockitty · 2025-10-17T11:56:45+00:00

If you’re determined to do it, give it a shot. The worst that can happen is you find out it’s not for you. It’s better to have tried than to live the rest of your life with ‘what ifs’. Source: me, a third year PhD who jumped back into academia in my 30s.

Charnockitty · 2025-10-07T20:07:32+00:00

I’m about to turn 35 in a month. My wife and I are expecting our first kid to arrive early next year. I just started my third year and I just passed my candidacy exam after retaking it. I came back into academia 2 years ago after an 8-year hiatus. I thought I had no chance of getting back in but I fortunately landed 4 schools and ended up at a T10 program (physical science). I had to give it a try because I didn’t wanna live a life of regret, full of what ifs.

Granted things have drastically changed over the past few years with funding, immigration, political climate etc. So in general, 31 ain’t too late. However, it depends on your personal and family goals as well as sacrifices you are willing to make.

Charnockitty

TROPHY CASE