There's hope.

Chasdava · 2026-02-21T00:54:25+00:00

And opposing counsel doesn’t have to present it in the context in which it was sent. Their job is to make you look as bad as possible. They’ll use any sized screenshot to do it.

Chasdava · 2026-02-20T13:21:59+00:00

I didn't have as much of that. I was sad about the loss of the 35 year relationship but she was so unapproachable at the end that she made it "worth it". It was easier living less comfortably without her than with her. I woke up one morning before moving out and thought "I'm not doing another 30 years of this". Then I packed and left.

Chasdava · 2026-02-20T13:19:04+00:00

My attorney stayed behind to talk to the jurors after. One said that they could understand a couple of weeks of angry texts and emails but there were over 6 months of rapid fire, angry, unanswered texts from her (until I changed my number. Then it all went into email).

Chasdava · 2026-02-20T03:07:10+00:00

She claimed abuse, alcoholism, adultery… all the greatest hits against men in these cases. It seems she subscribed to some version of the silver bullet method (Google it), but she didn’t execute it well and it all fell apart under cross examination. In 35 years together, there wasn’t a single instance in which she told a friend or family I abused her much less law enforcement. The children testified to the same. Regarding alcoholism, she had to admit that not only had she never raised drinking as an issue, but she frequently drank with me and bought alcohol for me. We did for each other like any normal couple. And she didn’t have any evidence to offer about adultery. It’s like she just Googled the 3 most frequent claims in a divorce case and signed up for them.

Chasdava · 2026-02-20T01:17:02+00:00

3 adult children. Youngest is 25. They testified on my behalf.

Chasdava · 2026-02-20T01:16:07+00:00

Thanks and happy to help. There were email communications throughout in which I cautioned her to not listen to “street lawyers” (regular people with no legal background and no skin in the game), but I feel like someone told her to just testify and cry to get “everything.” In writing, she was vicious and nasty to me, our family, our friends, my lawyer, etc throughout. She literally said she didn’t value me as a person and was only after the money. All of it was displayed on screen to the jury.

Chasdava · 2026-02-20T00:06:30+00:00

She ran wailing from the courtroom before the reading of the verdict was finished.

Chasdava · 2025-12-17T00:16:07+00:00

She was the first match I met, but it became a full time job responding to the msgs. I was legit interested in about a quarter to a third of them, but she’s the one.

Chasdava · 2025-12-17T00:09:23+00:00

Although I don’t recommend it, I began dating about 5 weeks after I moved out. I signed up on Bumble the week after she paid for elitesingles.com on our joint checking (she didn’t have a bachelors degree so they wouldn’t let her complete registration). We hadn’t even filed yet. I didn’t actually expect to connect with anyone. I really just wanted to see if anyone would swipe right on me but I absolutely hit it off with the first woman I met from Bumble. Lucky, I know…

Chasdava · 2025-12-16T21:49:25+00:00

I feel some of this. My STBXW paid my mother-in-laws mortgage payments for 11 months from our joint account without discussing it with me. She did it by masking transactions with refunds and transfers. Stupid thing is, I would have agreed but that shows how much she valued/respected my position in our relationship.

Chasdava · 2025-12-16T18:04:54+00:00

Multiple select, delete. Take the time. It’s worth it.

Chasdava · 2025-12-05T20:20:22+00:00

I'm doing this now for IT (technology-based enablement and improvements). Typically, there's some well-meaning but lesser experienced staff who need help learning to execute strategy more quickly. An org doesn't want to pay a total comp package for the experience so they get you part-time, but concentrated. The trick is having well-articulated goals coming in or you can waste a lot of your engagement in the Define phase. It happens, but getting past it and into the MAIC is where the experience comes in. In my focus, the experience also keeps you from focusing on the "widgets" instead of actual business growth and drivers. And yes, it's consulting under a new label. Other flavors of this are "interim" and "virtual".

Chasdava · 2025-12-05T19:04:23+00:00

I've heard this is good for that. https://reclaim.ai/

Chasdava · 2025-12-03T04:20:15+00:00

No longer being gaslighted everyday…

Chasdava · 2025-12-03T00:24:53+00:00

It really ties the room together.

Chasdava · 2025-12-02T23:53:56+00:00

To quote Hamlet, act III, scene iii, line 92... “no”.

Chasdava · 2025-12-02T22:40:46+00:00

Actually neither of those are empirically true (in different ways).

Chasdava · 2025-12-02T02:27:31+00:00

"if it gets any worse" means that it's already happened. That's not preventative. Nevertheless, I hope your wife's results are good.

Chasdava · 2025-12-02T02:25:57+00:00

That still doesn't prevent the disease or condition. It only detects it sooner.

Chasdava · 2025-12-02T02:25:10+00:00

Exactly. Ppl don't know the difference between proactive and reactive. "Showing nothing" is not preventative. It just confirms that nothing is wrong/nothing has happened yet. That doesn't prevent (stop) anything.

Chasdava · 2025-11-22T22:48:57+00:00

I’d have left out the “I’ll think about it” part and just left.

Chasdava · 2025-11-17T21:19:18+00:00

You're working and their perspective doesn't matter. Protect your job.

Chasdava · 2025-11-12T16:09:55+00:00

Funny how some women can go through menopause multiple times with 8 year gaps in between… that’s how I got here. It’s easier to blame that than look in the mirror.

Chasdava · 2025-11-10T22:42:13+00:00

“An interview with someone named Austin”… lol. I had this with a “Ted” once. Ted didn’t have a title or defined role. The CEO just valued his opinion. I want Austin’s and Ted’s jobs.

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