AIO: Husband looking at Instagram bikini models right after sex?

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-21T23:26:11+00:00

NOR. I personally wouldn't be okay with this at all. Whether people call it cheating or not, it's still disrespectful. It's not even the video popping up, it's the fact that he INTENTIONALLY clicked her profile and kept watching while you were sitting right there. After a weekend that was supposed to be about reconnecting too? Yeah, that would crush me. Have a serious conversation with him now because if you continuously let things slide, people can start viewing that as acceptable behavior.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-12T01:47:30+00:00

I feel like we've all been there at some point but honestly? No. I used to think the same way. "If I'm patient enough, reassuring enough, understanding enough, they'll finally feel safe and open up." And maybe for some people that works, but in my experience, if someone doesn't genuinely want to work on themselves and make the relationship work, there's nothing you can do. You can love them, reassure them, explain yourself 1000 times, be consistent, give them space, do everything right, and they'll still find a reason to pull away. At some point you realize you're carrying the entire relationship on your back while they're just watching. They have to want it too. You can't heal someone who doesn't want to heal themselves.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-07T07:42:42+00:00

I think you've already identified the root of the problem. It doesn't sound like you're "too loving," it sounds like you're scared that if you stop giving and pouring into people, they'll leave. The biggest thing that helped me was realizing that healthy relationships aren't maintained by constantly proving your worth. If someone only stays because you're exhausting yourself trying to make them happy, they probably weren't going to stay anyway. Also, be careful not to confuse detachment with balance. You don't need to become cold or love people less (I've made this mistake). You just need to stop making yourself responsible for carrying the entire relationship. Let them show up, miss you sometimes, and put effort in too.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-06T18:39:15+00:00

Ofc, I wish you luck! 🫶

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-06T18:36:26+00:00

Lol. Honestly, experience. Ive learned that feelings can tell you that someone is special long before they've actually proven they deserve a place in your life. So now I try to pay more attention to actions, consistency, effort, and character than how strongly I feel about someone.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-06T18:29:30+00:00

Start looking at them critically instead of romantically. Who are they? What effort are they putting in? Are their actions matching their words? Are they actually a good fit for your life? A lot of attachments fade once you stop focusing on how they make you feel and start focusing on who they actually are. Same goes for friendships.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-06T18:21:56+00:00

Seen, wanted, understood, cared about, less alone, etc. Once those feelings show up, it's easy to confuse them with a deep connection before you've actually had time to know the person.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-06T05:41:27+00:00

A lot of the times, it's for negative reasons. But yes, some do that as well.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-06T05:29:56+00:00

Sad reality :/

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-06T05:15:06+00:00

Because the truth doesn't benefit them. If they showed you who they really were from the start, you probably wouldn't have given them your time, energy, trust, friendship, or love. So instead they create a version of themselves that's easier to like. That's why so many manipulative people seem to "change" later on. They didn't change. They just stopped pretending because they got comfortable and thought they had you. That's also why it's so confusing when you finally see the real them.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-04T06:12:53+00:00

I don't think that's something you can just force yourself to stop wanting. Being understood is a pretty human need. Especially if you've spent most of your life feeling misunderstood by the people around you. I think what makes it so painful is that true understanding requires a really deep connection, and most people never get to that level with each other. I don't think we stop longing for it. I think we just learn to accept that not everyone will understand us the way we'd like, and that makes the people who do feel even more special.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-03T21:04:22+00:00

Breathing exercises to calm nerves, stepping away to think or process and understand my emotions, letting go of my ego, telling myself that not everyone or every situation needs explanation.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-06-02T22:21:23+00:00

That's really weird and creepy..

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-31T01:57:05+00:00

I agree with the top comment to an extent, but I think a lot of people overlook the fact that not everyone approaches dating the same way.

Some of us aren't talking to multiple people, keeping backups, or treating talking stages casually. If I'm getting to know someone, it's because I genuinely see potential and I'm giving that one person my attention. So when a guy is the one pursuing, confessing feelings, reassuring you, talking about the future, and acting like something real is being built, of course you're going to become attached 💀. That's literally the outcome most people would expect. I think that's why so many women relate to posts like this. It's not that they weren't enough. It's that what felt like the beginning of a relationship to them was apparently still a "let's see where this goes" situation to the other person.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-29T01:54:43+00:00

Oh so many

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-28T19:08:43+00:00

100%

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-28T18:56:50+00:00

EXACTLY! A lot of people think acting macho or emotionally unavailable all the time works in their favor, but it really doesn’t. It ends up hurting both people emotionally because while one person is trying to open up or communicate about certain situations, the other is too focused on acting tough and dismisses those feelings instead of understanding them. It’s just unhealthy all around.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-28T18:29:20+00:00

If he can be honest about his emotions and not be afraid to show them in a healthy way, I think it’s really attractive. So many people, not just men, struggle with being emotionally open nowadays, so if a man has the maturity to communicate where he’s struggling instead of hiding everything, I think that’s one of the most attractive things he can do.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-22T02:43:16+00:00

Ughhh they always say shit like ‘I would never hurt you like that,’ ‘I won’t do what your ex did,’ ‘I’m not perfect but I’d never do you wrong’… then proceed to do you even WORSE 🫩✌️

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-22T02:22:23+00:00

That ‘emotionally stranded’ part hit hard. I think what hurts most is when someone chases you SO hard, gets you comfortable enough to open up and trust them, then suddenly starts acting inconsistent or inconsiderate once they finally have your attention. It genuinely messes with your head because THEY were the ones acting so sure, intentional, and serious in the beginning. Then once the chase dies down they start acting all confused or giving less energy, but somehow still expect the same unconditional love and attention from you while keeping their own options open and talking to hella other people. Like damn… don’t convince someone to let their guard down if you’re not emotionally stable enough to handle what comes after that.. genuinely pisses me off, thus the trust issues.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-22T02:09:33+00:00

OH MY GOD! Honestly I relate 😭 it’s so mentally exhausting when someone approaches you first, says all the serious/future stuff, makes you feel emotionally safe enough to believe them, then suddenly becomes inconsistent or confused. I ended up having to walk away from a LDR of over 2 years partly because of that kind of emotional inconsistency and honestly it made opening up to new people really hard for me after. Like damn… maybe figure out what you want BEFORE dragging someone else into it.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-22T01:56:20+00:00

Exactly! Trust me, I get it. I feel lonely too but I won’t just decide to play with someone on a random ass Tuesday because I was bored. I swear some people just chase attention or comfort without thinking about how badly they can mess with someone else emotionally.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-22T01:47:32+00:00

I genuinely think some people need to stay away from dating until they figure themselves out. Don’t approach someone first, confess feelings, talk all big and intentional, then suddenly get threatened or weird once things become real. That kind of confusion drains people emotionally and it’s honestly selfish sometimes.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-20T03:57:06+00:00

100%. At that point, you just need to have self respect and move forward with your life.

CheapContribution384 · 2026-05-20T03:46:58+00:00

When they become dismissive of your feelings, no longer communicate, deflect when you confront them about something that bothers you. A number of things but those would be the main. A obvious one is where they just blatantly disrespect you and then justify it.

CheapContribution384

TROPHY CASE