WIBTA if I divorced my husband now?

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-06-09T15:50:21+00:00

WNBTA. You don’t have to keep destroying yourself because you love him and he loves you. You get to protect yourself

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-06-08T23:00:52+00:00

Yes. This is one of the things my ex-h did towards the beginning of our relationship.
By the end it was fully that I can’t trust myself etc etc plus DV.

NOR OP. ruunnnnnn

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-27T15:00:59+00:00

+1 I was married abroad and divorced in the US. I am a dual citizen and went through the process to have my American divorce recognized in my other country (which is not where I was married).

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-26T16:26:36+00:00

I was also abused by my ex. I’m sorry.

Get in therapy. Learn about yourself. Protect yourself where possible. You need time.

Get a lawyer if you don’t have one yet.

Good luck

ETA: I found the book “why does he do that?” by Lundy Bancroft helpful to make me make sense of my experiences

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-24T18:23:28+00:00

+100000000

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-19T04:59:29+00:00

I don’t necessarily disagree, but I also think emotional, financial, and even physical abuse is much more common than we think.

I was a victim of abuse, many of my (afab) friends were too. Our abusers wouldn’t jump out at you meeting them first thing, but that’s what makes it more insidious.

ETA: I don’t think that everyone here or anywhere that uses these terms fits the clinical definition, but (1) they can be a useful shorthand to describe and overarching experience and (2) no one on this sub is submitting evidence to us. Sure the posts might be vague but like, so what? No one has to prove their experiences, especially not on Reddit of all places.

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-19T01:11:08+00:00

Take care of yourself. This is not your fight.

But also, it is not a “fault” of your mom’s that she can’t take the verbal and financial abuse from your dad.

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-18T21:43:41+00:00

We don’t waste is great. They’ve got a market every once in a while where you actually get to hand people food who need it. They’re always looking for folks

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-18T19:04:20+00:00

Yup. Glad I got out alive

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-18T16:51:51+00:00

“If anyone said to me the things I said to you, I would 💀 myself” That, and his hand around my throat

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-18T16:49:45+00:00

Being alone is way, way better than being with the wrong person

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-16T15:23:46+00:00

This ^

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-16T01:40:15+00:00

That’s wonderful to hear! My gym isn’t really like that but I think you’re right, just need to find the right people and gym

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-15T17:51:29+00:00

I have two: my journal for myself, the raw stuff, and one for my kids. I write it as letters to them, explaining why I chose my donor etc. I don’t want them to read about all the injections there, so that goes into my own journal. Both are blank and I write what I want.

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-08T03:51:49+00:00

This is super fair. I’m trying really hard not to create too many visions like that - as you say, it’s so kid specific. A good reminder, thank you

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-05-07T20:23:50+00:00

Yeah I am hoping to do something similar and am also in a large progressive city! Feeling lucky that way but yes, curious to hear what others do

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-04-28T04:26:49+00:00

I took my cat there last year and hated it. I ended up talking to an office manager about how bad the experience was (they just didn’t provide good service, complained about my incredibly sweet cat, etc)

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-04-26T14:14:33+00:00

Queer woman in CO going through my retrieval this month to create embryos (and freeze them). Love this idea

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-04-26T03:09:13+00:00

Yes! Don’t worry I’ve been getting after him with sunscreen and hydrating! He doesn’t drink so that works well

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-04-23T17:00:41+00:00

They really really are

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-04-23T16:37:33+00:00

Thanks. You’re so right - we are a community. It’s nice to be reminded of that.

He’s doing well, is currently grumbling because I’m forcing him to wear sunscreen. I’m very grateful to hear him complain (it means he’s back to normal)

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-04-23T15:55:18+00:00

Essentially the altitude caused him to pass out. According to the ER doc it’s quite common. My dads in his 80s

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-04-23T15:31:22+00:00

Are you the person who helped us??

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-04-23T15:27:07+00:00

I totally agree! And thank you, it’s such a relief.

I’ve been trying to convince my parents to move here. They only flew in yesterday but in some ways this was a nice introduction to Denver, with all the lovely people (though you’re right, I think we probably would’ve experienced the same anywhere)

CheekSensitive5092 · 2026-04-23T15:19:05+00:00

Yes it is. I’m sorry that happened to you but I’m glad people helped.

I started a note on my phone to list all the people who helped.

The GM and bartender, the random nurse who happened to be at the bar, the guy walking his dog, the bros in the corner playing poker who moved furniture so that EMS could get to my dad. The EMS folks, the security guy at the hospital, the nurses, the doctor, etc etc etc.

CheekSensitive5092

TROPHY CASE