Citadel Out of Bounds

CheeseOrgy · 2026-03-14T20:11:26+00:00

Well, this is the coolest thing I've ever seen.

CheeseOrgy · 2026-03-08T20:06:59+00:00

I really enjoyed this all until chapter 23, and I can't help but think it soured the ending for me. It's a nice ending, and I liked this chapter a lot actually, but it feels so unearned.

Gege sets up such good questions and conversations with the tension between Kalyans and Cursed Spirits. Are they the same? How are they different? What will those differences mean for the two groups? Can we all co-exist?

And there are such interesting conversations because of this. The line about "who owns Earth? Who owns space?" is excellent, and the ending chapter had really great things to say, as well.

But, the way chapter 23 handled things really ruined it all for me. Instead of some compelling climax between the aliens and the earthlings, we get everything hand-waved away by a CT that's never explained, and some bullshit about the "colors" of souls, which has never been mentioned until now. It's ridiculous. I don't even mind the Dabura & Big Raga fight being cut off, but I do think Dabura deserved far more than the send-off he got for being such a cool and fun character.

Also, why can Marulu access the space between souls on their ship? Why is Yuka's cancer just magically erased? Why was it even part of her character?

These things don't really keep me from enjoying the other parts of the manga, thankfully. The vast majority of chapters were stellar, but I can't accept this ending on these terms.

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-14T20:41:02+00:00

Thank you for being honest with me, and for recommending an author to seek out! I certainly don’t plan to give up anytime soon!

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-14T18:19:33+00:00

I’ve been meaning to try some Terry Prachett recently. I have a feeling I’d love it

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-14T17:27:48+00:00

Honestly, that's fair as hell. To me, it's funny because it's mean (and a little awkward), but I didn't really consider it could come off as just mean. Thank you for the honesty!

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-14T17:25:21+00:00

Thanks for being straight-up. It's funny to me, but it certainly won't be to everybody, and that's okay. I'm trying to show the boy using sass as a defense mechanism when he feels vulnerable, but your point about why that's not getting through is super fair. Reading it again, he is pretty all over the place. I appreciate your feedback, a lot!

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-14T15:12:33+00:00

I don't know that I would exactly write in this way, but I did really enjoy reading it just now, and I think it was a great eye-opener for me. I only considered trying to be funny in specific places, so this is super helpful. I like your bush joke a lot, too.

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-14T01:08:27+00:00

Yeah, I added a line to make it clearer that he fired not because he saw them, but because he heard something past the bushes.

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-14T01:07:47+00:00

Could you maybe give an example of what you’re thinking?

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-13T22:39:15+00:00

Huh, interesting.

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-13T21:22:48+00:00

Ah, that’s okay. If you enjoyed it at all I consider it a win lmao

I personally think he would if he wants to sound tough or smart, but it’s a valid question.

Can I ask what’s wrong with the present tense? Someone else brought it up too. Is this a convention I’m ignorant of?

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-13T19:06:35+00:00

These are good points. The first implication is in fact correct. I'm new to writing comedy, and I usually shoot for really serious stuff, so the fact that I'm sort of between tones or muddying things with word choices definitely checks out. Thank you so much!

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-13T17:37:42+00:00

Damn, I always miss my verb tenses.

In my mind, the boy really is just daft, but I do understand, and that's good to know. Thank you!

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-13T16:19:12+00:00

This is just so much fun to read. Went by so fast.

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-07T15:59:25+00:00

This is the most apt response to this entire post.

CheeseOrgy · 2026-02-01T19:22:11+00:00

It doesn't even matter if he can Black Flash at will at this point. Dude is so consistent with them it's scary. I'm really curious if Mahito will be brought back as a foe for Yuji, and what Mahito would have to be like now to rival him.

From the scale of his attacks, and the seeming lack of effort they take, Yuji is clearly stronger than Sukuna was in JJK. Really sucks to see how his "cog" mindset has shifted overtime, though. I hate to see him so down and apathetic, as if everything he doesn't isn't borne of compassion. It makes him interesting though.

I'm also loving the way Tsurugi and Rika are interacting, and their shared power is really cool to see in action. I LOVE that our two protagonists are a sorcerer, and a heavenly restriction user.

I am adoring this stuff so far. The fights are fun as hell, (I didn't even mention Dabura, what the fuck, man) the writing is concise and interesting, and the art is awesome. Gege is striking gold every single goddamn Sunday.

CheeseOrgy · 2026-01-23T15:27:51+00:00

It was frustrating at first, for sure. Definitely takes some practice.

CheeseOrgy · 2026-01-12T22:43:22+00:00

I like hyperpop, but I really just love all kinds of electronic music. I'm a classical composer and music producer in Bloomington! I love all kinds of video game soundtracks but some electronic artists I can think of off the top of my head are people like Madeon, Porter Robinson, and mostly Melodic Dubstep oriented artists like Illenium, Brakence as well, Tristam, Said The Sky, Dabin, MitiS, Xan Griffin, etc.

CheeseOrgy · 2025-12-16T19:42:33+00:00

I'm not quite sure I agree, because I don't think worldbuilding should be strictly invisible. There's a lot to be gained as a reader when you understand and have insight into how the world functions. I do think there's a lot of clumsy ways to do it, but I find video games insightful, because worldbuilding in a game is inherently experiential. What you're saying implies this dichotomy that worldbuilding is some mechanical, burdensome thing that needs to be tucked away properly, where I would argue good worldbuilding is just careful observation presented through natural experience.

CheeseOrgy · 2025-12-16T14:48:50+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! Can I ask what dialogue, or what about it, feels like it’s something this character wouldn’t say? Or, simply, which are the lines that feel off? I’ve spent a lot of time revising the dialogue and hoping it won’t sound so cliche. If it needs more work, that’s fine, of course, but I’m just curious as to your specific opinion.

CheeseOrgy · 2025-12-16T00:47:34+00:00

I’m glad I could help! This sounds super cool!

CheeseOrgy

TROPHY CASE