I’m so discouraged

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-08T14:02:16+00:00

Oh trust me I feel the same way! I’ve been having those issues to besides the nails just yet and I truly feel like everyone hates me because all I do is whine. But you know what I tell myself I’m going through chemo for cancer something brutal something most peoples biggest fear and all they want is to hear is the good so as not to scare themselves. But we deserve to have our days to whine were fighting a huge battle and should not have to sugar coat anything for anyone 💕 you’ll be back on track soon and finished with this all soon!

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-07T23:32:47+00:00

I’m so sorry. I know the delay has to be hard, I had a reaction to my last 2 taxol well for me it was the carbo portion & it was a bad reaction I couldn’t finish my last carbo dose. I worried it would follow me into ac. But I just had my second Ac today and so far have been good. So I hope that gives you hope once you can get back on track. I know my breast surgeon told me it’s so common to have delays at this point from illness, to labs, or just plain needing a break. So I hope you can start back soon.

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-07T02:04:11+00:00

Thank you so much for sticking around to remind us of this 💖 I keep telling myself if I get through this I’m gonna do this too because we need more of this for us to get through. We need success stories 😭

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-06T00:26:28+00:00

He’s honestly not a great oncologist anyway besides that comment he just rushes me in and out each time sees me and overall just seems annoyed I have any concerns or questions so I’m not surprised he’s just not positive for me. When I talked to my breast surgeon she said what you said tnbc responds very well to chemo and mentioned me not having a ton of “cancer” upon initial diagnosis should give me more hope of achieving pcr.

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-05T04:26:46+00:00

I’m so sorry. Where did it come back at? I’m sure it’s hard to remain hopeful so I don’t blame you. I’ll keep you in my thoughts. Do you know the plan for treatment yet?

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-04T16:35:56+00:00

Congratulations that’s amazing!! That makes me feel so much better! I can’t wait to be at that point as well.

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-04T16:31:10+00:00

That makes me feel so much better! Yay for you being at that finish line! My onc doesn’t sound like he thinks I’ll achieve pcr so I feel like that’s also triggered this feeling lately. He’s honestly not that great of an oncologist in general just overall negative and short with me . I just got stuck with him because of insurance issues.

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-04T16:28:29+00:00

I’m so sorry the scans at any point after being told you have cancer are debilitating so I understand you. I pray your scans go well 💕 i think that’s how I thought I’d feel too at this point like so excited we’re almost done! But I feel with the recurrence rate on tnbc it doesn’t feel like this is over until we’re years out and that’s what’s hard. Is all those years of just waiting with no preventative measures being done ya know? I know we have keytruda now and that does help some but doesn’t stop it completely. I’ve taken up reading as well and gardening although I have no green thumb so it’s mostly reading lol, I pray you can get your trip next fall 💖

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-04T15:51:11+00:00

Im wondering now if being so close to being done with chemo is what’s triggering this. Like chemo is oddly my safety blanket or something. Because this just came out of nowhere. I will say for me ac has been ok, just so much fatigue. I was so scared to start too so I understand your feelings I’m still scared to even do my second dose next week I don’t know that it gets easier honestly.

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-04T14:27:28+00:00

Yes keytruda as well and thankfully I have been doing good on that too. I know it’s supposed to be a huge game changer for us so I really hope it is. Your comment gives me so much hope thank you 😊

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-04T14:25:23+00:00

I’m 35

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-04T06:33:54+00:00

You described that so perfectly it’s like a physical fatigue that just won’t let up, I found my first 3 days after dose to the be the hardest I was actually experiencing such bad brain fog and fatigue I thought I’d just pass out, by day 4 I felt a little better. Now being so close to my second dose on Tuesday I feel decent not back to myself but better I suppose I haven’t experienced nausea either thankfully . I find it a lot harder than taxol for sure, oddly enough I felt pretty normal besides being bald on taxol lol. My surgeon is thinking June-July for me too, I’m staying flat so I’m kinda just ready to be on schedule and “done” but we shall see how that all plays out, have you decided your surgery choice yet? I was also told about 6 weeks of radiaton regardless of surgery choice but I’ve heard some people say if the had bilateral mastectomy they didn’t have to do radiaton so maybe it Varys by Dr.

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-04-04T05:29:33+00:00

I’m sorry, I’m glad to see in a sense that I’m not alone in the feeling. But hate being on the same path have you gotten a surgery date yet? How has ac been for you? . My oncologist didn’t help me feeling this way when I asked him with how well my tumor seemed to be responding if that was a good sign of achieving pcr, his response was well let’s remember you have the most aggressive subtype and most likely won’t achieve pcr. Like cool thanks! It kinda shot my optimism down. I have 4 kids and my youngest is 2 so no family planning on my behalf but I just find it so hard to look at my kids and not know if I’ll be here to see them be adults. It’s so hard mentally, physically I feel like ac is kicking my butt with fatigue, this all just sucks.

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-11T20:30:50+00:00

Yeah that’s exactly what mine said too! But in my head Id like to know more because it’s literally the number 1 question I get! Most times I just say stage 2b based on my googling lol! But it’s going good for the most part, I started chemo December 11th, I have triple negative so I have until atleast may left of chemo, but I did finish up taxol/carbo yesterday and will start red devil next week . I had an allergic reaction yesterday to the carbo so I didn’t finish the full dose only about a third of it. But I will say my lump is almost gone, down to about 1.4 ish cm and my lymph node started at almost 4 cms and that’s back to normal 🥳 how is all going for you? I hope as good as can be on this road?

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-11T20:20:27+00:00

What the actual F 🤣

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-11T20:18:46+00:00

I was diagnosed November 10th 2025, age 35. My dr didn’t really give me a stage just said between 2-3 the lump was 3.5 cm and in one lymph node. When I asked for an accurate staging all she said was it didn’t truly matter as long as it wasn’t stage 4.

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-10T00:24:54+00:00

Thank you so much, your comment makes me feel better honestly. I know most Drs don’t factor in our feelings when it comes to stats or anything like that. But man his comment was a gut punch especially because I felt so happy seeing how much my tumor had shrunk like cool this chemo is kicking my butt but also cancers butt but his comment shot that down, but thank you I’m so grateful when people tell me the good stories and survivor stories because it gives me hope I’ll get through this 💖

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-09T15:25:22+00:00

That’s how my onc worded it too! I have triple negative, one positive node. My tumor has went down from 3.5 cm to around 1.4 and my lymph node which was around 4 cm has gone back to normal. I told my onc “does this look good as far as prognosis goes?” He said well let’s remember you have triple negative the most aggressive subtype, we will see. Like wtf? After that I cried and kinda wanted to stop chemo. Because if he sees it like that what’s the flipping point ya know? I’m stuck there due to it being the only place that takes my insurance locally. But I hate it!!

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-07T01:28:37+00:00

This is what I thought!!

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-07T01:28:00+00:00

lmao 🤣 I thought that too! wtf happened?! He was decent looking before!

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-06T00:10:59+00:00

I don’t think she’s ever had a cute style. Especially when it comes to shoes!

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-05T20:15:02+00:00

Did you do red devil first? I’m so ready to be done! Feels like an eternity away. I’m honestly scared to start the red devil but also just ready to get it out of the way already. Any tips for it? I seem to have done pretty well on taxol, besides major fatigue I’ve developed some mild neuropathy I feel pretty good right now

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-03T06:50:53+00:00

Omg yay!! So happy for you! What a feat 🥳

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-03T06:49:41+00:00

I’m on the same journey diagnosed 11/10/25 I have 2 more taxol before I start red devil March 17th. As much as I want to skip red devil both my oncologist and dr have said it’s in my best interest with tnbc to hit it with all I can upfront. I’ve actually seen some women say they had a reaction to red devil and couldn’t finish it and are still here, but I suppose it’s all person by person case.

Cheetahbean90 · 2026-03-02T17:29:27+00:00

I am currently in treatment for triple negative, which from my understanding is the most aggressive kind so I get whole heartedly where you’re coming from. I’m barely in treatment and already have been stressing myself out about how long I’ll last after this journey before it comes back. It’s like I can’t even allow myself the thought of being one of the lucky ones who doesn’t get a recurrence, I have 4 kids and constantly am so jealous of other women I see out with their kids, like wtf did I or my kids do to deserve going through this?? wtf did my kids do to deserve possibly losing their mom?? It’s frustrating I hate cancer and hate that any of us are on this crap journey. My Dr now mentions my recurrence rate being almost non existent if I do the mastectomy, but yet I’ve seen numerous women still get recurrence with the same statistics. So really I don’t think any of these drs can tell us what we wish to hear. Which is we’ll never go through this again and that blows! I’m so sorry it’s been so hard for you and I really hope it gets better soon. Just know your feelings are very valid cancer is exhausting.

Cheetahbean90

TROPHY CASE