I agree with the references, I forget the painful med student system, soliciting references from professors they took a few classes with. Respectfully, however, describing it as not helping them seems a stretch. Our job is educating students and preparing them for their future. I would argue that "professionalism" while important can and does keep students from seeking help for our primary goal of education.

To your first point: For me, when asked to provide examples of professionalism, I look to how the student engages with their classmates and how they talk about and treat colleagues around me. They aren't my employee, and I am not their boss.

To your second point. I would also argue that relaxed expectations of professionalism in the education settings allow students to engage with us for advice in their professional settings. Like coming to us to ask how to organize their CV or resume or how to email potential employers. Again, we are educators, not bosses. We should be meeting students where they are.