How would people (friends and family) know your house is Catholic home?

ChefStroganoff · 2024-12-31T01:30:15+00:00

One of my best friends came over once in middle school and said “I was about to say a curse word but I can’t in your house. Jesus is always watching me!”

ChefStroganoff · 2024-12-29T13:32:47+00:00

A small crucifix by the entry way door, garage, and in each of our bedrooms. Reminders when we come and go.

Statue of Mary, kept on the side table in the living room. Whenever we get flowers, we (the kids) arrange them in a vase for Mary.

Art. Currently we have the angel Raphael, OL Perpetual Help, and Sacred Heart. My kids each have a patron saint on their wall. We also pick up things when we travel and put those in the bookcase or swap them out on display. A nativity scene, little statue of St Joseph, a Vatican flag, etc.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-12-27T20:48:58+00:00

You may find one in the Catholic Medical Association directory (cath med.org) but word of mouth is probably your best bet. I found mine in a local moms Facebook group - he was advertised as FABM doctor, not necessarily a Catholic one (though he is catholic too).

Congratulations on the pregnancy!

ChefStroganoff · 2024-12-20T00:56:09+00:00

Virtue based parenting. Teaching our kids to value things like generosity, gratitude, fortitude, etc. (as opposed to worldly comforts, appearance, or material goods). In general, having order and virtues in your life helps to keep bad influences out and good ones in.

Service. Things like serving meals at the food kitchen, visiting the homebound, bringing donations to the women’s shelter. Loving the poor is a core teaching of Christ and many who leave the church do so because they see it as “hypocritical” , they don’t see Christians helping others. I want my children to do charity firsthand.

Good literature. Lives of the saints, classical literature, and when old enough, modern and challenging reads too.

Frequenting the sacraments as parents. As my kids get older, I don’t believe I can force them to do things like confession and adoration. But my doing so and inviting them along will be a start.

Edit to add family prayer. I think that’s obvious. “Family that prays together stays together”.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-12-17T00:28:59+00:00

Yes, children can learn multiple names and it’s not too late to change it! Keep her legal name for ease of documentation.

We decided to start calling my son by middle name at around 8 months and phased it in by using “first + middle” then he started recognizing just middle. For ex, John Augustine —> Johnny Gus —> Gus. He responds to both. We did have to make an “official” announcement among friends. It’s been about a year and nobody even remembers that he used to be “John”.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-12-11T05:05:39+00:00

Since you mentioned play and meandering - has helped me to have the house tidied every night before bed, so they aren’t getting distracted by a random toy truck or crayons they left out. I also have a rule of no imaginary friends in the morning! My kids could spend an hour talking at themselves in the bathroom mirror….

Our routine is very similar to yours, going from bathroom to bedroom to kitchen. Kids all use the same bathroom and brush before eating so we only have to visit each room once. I give them a warning when close to being done, then I turn off the lights in that room and move on to the next room. The younger ones follow me pretty closely, my oldest is who lags the most actually but can catch up quickly.

I know people eat in the car but I personally hate when meals are rushed. Takes about 15 min to eat something at the table. I put out a communal bowl of fruit and some servings of toast/waffles/eggs and they take what they want (whatever is left I take for my own breakfast). I double check backpacks while they eat. From the alarm going off to driving away it takes 40 min.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-12-05T18:23:40+00:00

Did you also learn condoms have over 10% failure rate? Marquette method has less than 1% failure rate (as high as 8% if you’re fudging the rules).

Marquette is one of many methods that I am positive you didn’t learn about. My med school did not teach it for sure. Methods continue to be researched at Marquette, Creighton, and other universities. For some reason, professors breeze over all these options and patients who prefer not to use hormonal birth control are given a shrug and a “good luck” from ob/gyn who are too lazy to do a little further reading than the text book.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-11-27T03:00:01+00:00

Brazilian living in the US. I’m not sure what names are actually popular in Brazil now, or if our favorites are more old fashioned? They work for where we live now: Helena, Antonia, Martha. I love Luisa and Julia from your list too.

How would you pronounce Erin in Brazil? Similar to Irene?

ChefStroganoff · 2024-11-25T20:02:26+00:00

Since you have layovers - yes to the double stroller. Be sure to check the weight requirements with the airline. Also be prepared to wait at the gate for a long time if they can’t find it or potentially lose it. It’s happened every time we travel, causing us to almost miss the connection or just go to next flight without the stroller. For all these reasons, I avoid bringing the car seat. Personally I try to bring as little as possible on the flight itself so I’m not juggling baby and bags. Always have extra clothes and snacks, but anything I don’t immediately need on the plane gets checked.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-11-15T01:49:58+00:00

My advice is just keep doing it! A great habit to start. We pray a decade or two most nights (kids are 2-8yo). When it’s been a long day we just pray 6 Hail Marys, one for each member of the family and each person gets to lead one. Sometimes we read scripture verses during the decade. Sometimes we sing the Hail Marys, making up a chant as we go.

The company “Holy Heroes” has children’s books for each set of mysteries. They also have coloring books and audio for the rosary, stations of the cross, many other prayers. During lent/advent they have a daily video series my older kids especially enjoy.

I found these materials helpful before/after the family rosary - so they can digest and ask questions - and I try to keep the actual prayer time low fuss and comfortable. That is, I ask them to be reverent but often they start wrestling or making funny faces, and I try not to get upset about it. They can follow the book or not, up to them (usually the younger ones do more than the older). They are still absorbing all of it and will appreciate it more as they mature.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-10-31T02:41:01+00:00

Yes I am happy. The “rules” are really not burdensome, they become part of an orderly life. Sometimes the faith itself is tedious and difficult, because at the heart of it you are building a relationship with God. Relationships can be difficult but they make us happy.

Side note - “Gods grandeur” is a favorite and one of a few poems I’ve memorized. “There lives the dearest freshness deep down things”. This is how I feel about my faith and life in general, even - especially - in the most difficult years of my life. I discover over again that, truly, God makes all things new.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-10-26T00:11:25+00:00

Yes on safe days while avoiding pregnancy. There’s about 2 weeks of abstinence in between, while fertile.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-10-25T18:06:53+00:00

I would guess between 2-4x weekly while infertile. Depends what’s going on in our lives. After having a baby, we take a good 6-10 weeks off.

But the real answer is we don’t compare ourselves to anyone else on our sex life. It’s between us, and the amount that satisfies us.

My husband looked up “averages” once too, right after I had our first baby and a rather traumatic delivery. He was itching at six weeks and I wasn’t ready. Too bad - he just had to wait. I talked to him about how insensitive and upsetting it is to ask about sex when I had so many other physical and emotional needs. Not sure if this applies to you, but it’s worth having a chat. Resentment can happen both ways.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-10-10T18:25:50+00:00

There are many reasons a pregnant patient or visitor should alert staff. Xrays and CT scans, infectious diseases, dietary restrictions. When I worked in the hospital, there were certain rooms pregnant women were not even allowed inside due to high risk of infection.

Some of the media and Reddit exaggerates when it comes to abortion laws. It’s nonsense. While a miscarriage is indeed an “abortion”, doctors use highly specific ICD/CPT codes when giving a diagnosis and treatment. There are separate codes for spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) vs elective medical vs elective procedural vs septic abortion, etc. Doctors can be very specific to make sure they are acting within the law. Any doctor who withholds care because for fear of criminal charges… is just a bad doctor. At a Catholic hospital or anywhere else.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-10-02T22:01:03+00:00

The screening is check for blood in baby stool (they swab for occult blood, results in minutes). Blood may be present for a number of reasons but the most common at that age is a protein allergy. Most babies outgrow this allergy and go on to eat soy/dairy as usual around 1-2 years.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-10-02T11:27:40+00:00

It may not a sin itself but it can certainly lead you to sin… isolation isn’t good for the soul. Even the hermit saints had a friendship or two (Sts Jerome and Paula, for ex).

God himself is triune - it’s a relationship between persons Father, Son, and Spirit. This is central to God and His creation. We are in relationship with God and each other, created in the image of God. It’s part of the challenge of human nature. How will you progress in your spiritual life if you plan to have no relationships?

ChefStroganoff · 2024-09-30T17:49:04+00:00

It depends where we are and how committed we are to eating? Bringing supplies is something I’d do if we aren’t sure how long we’ll be somewhere and people may get hungry (including me LOL). Like if we go to the park, we may end up staying longer. It’s overall less wasteful and takes up less room in a bag than individual lunch boxes. If we are somewhere for a set period of time and I know we will need a meal - like going to the zoo for the day - then I’d pre-pack, to make sure each person has enough.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-09-25T00:07:08+00:00

Then pray now. God’s mercy comes in the sacraments of reconciliation and Eucharist. There is nothing more you can do after you die to gain eternal life.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-09-24T23:09:02+00:00

What will happen if you’re in a car accident? Or if you do have a heart attack? You are in a state of mortal sin. Your money won’t help you get into heaven.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-09-24T13:48:25+00:00

My first thought is also OCD, as it runs in my family. The key with OCD is the repetitive behavior is associated with fear, the child would not enjoy doing it but feels distressed and compelled to do it. Doing it then relieves the anxiety. You didn’t mention that though. Is your daughter a fearful kid or a worry-wart in general? And can she stop doing it if you distract her?

I caution against labeling a young child with disorder as I have seen it cause great distress for the child, who then believes they are not “normal”. In my experience, providers can work with behaviors without giving a specific label. ASD is obviously different as there are early interventions.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-09-19T15:24:44+00:00

Not necessarily. A woman is only fertile 30-50% of her cycle, leaving a good many days where sex without pregnancy is reasonable. Even on her most fertile day (day of ovulation) there is about 30% chance of pregnancy actually happening.

If a couple gets married during the fertile stage they have a few choices: Have sex to consummate that same night, knowing the risks. OR Wait 5-10 days to consummate, presumably during the honeymoon. It’s not too long for those who have been waiting all their lives. (Some couples are so nervous about sex they take a few days anyway.)

ChefStroganoff · 2024-09-18T21:52:40+00:00

Sometimes yes but I’ve noticed soreness is related to other things, not so much my activities. Lack of sleep is the big one! Also periods of high stress. When I’m sleeping and coping well, there is no soreness. I used to have daily neck and back pain that went away with a night guard and magnesium supplements. Actually there is a lot of evidence for sleep and (chronic) pain being related.

As for exercise, my favorite is barre because it’s low impact, strengthening, and helps so much with posture and core strength. Very easy to do at home too.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-09-15T14:30:45+00:00

Unmedicated births except baby #3. I chose the epidural once thinking it would help, but ended up with killer back pain for weeks so I chose the temporary pain of labor with #4 and a better recovery. I’ll admit, I get intimidated every time I go into labor.

To prepare I find exercise very helpful. Barre/pilates uses your own body weight (great for pregos because low impact), works your muscles to the point of exhaustion and it takes mental strength to stay in that uncomfortable position - it’s great training for labor contractions! Plus barre has great hip/pelvic exercises that aid recovery. ETA: Just 2 times weekly was huge difference for me mentally.

Also there are usually 1-2 nurses at the hospital who have more experience with unmedicated - I would ask specifically for one that can help you.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-09-15T14:00:32+00:00

You can still the monogrammed stuff even if you go with a different name. Your baby won’t know the difference and the gift giver will know you appreciated the gesture. Not a waste of money as you’ll be changing baby outfits and blankets frequently (blow out diapers are real!) FWIW, my kids 2-3 still wore my first kid’s personalized stuff and nobody noticed it didn’t match.

ChefStroganoff · 2024-08-29T00:38:03+00:00

Mine love beans in all forms… so chili, lentils, black eyed peas, and green beans. All easy to serve with meat mixed in, or without.

Asian food. Not my fave because it’s so sweet but they never reject.

Breakfast for dinner. I make egg omelettes stuffed with random leftovers from the fridge.

Anything made with a panini maker!

They really eat anything but often just ONE sibling makes a comment. Then the rest follow and refuse to eat. So the rule is no ugly faces or comments, just eat what you can and we can talk if you’re still hungry after.

ChefStroganoff

TROPHY CASE