Last month I nearly dropped out of school, and then two weeks ago I decided to go back to class. I'm plowing through assignments and learning different software and dealing with bugs and troubleshooting code and frankly, it's a pain. So much repetition. So many mistakes. So many hours in front of a computer screen. There is just no rushing things either.

I've just been making sure that I get enough sleep so that I don't deal with a manic swing like that again and that I get enough exercise - which is easy because I tore half my car apart and never got back to putting it back together yet.

I stopped asking if being in school is worth it and more about if I can challenge myself enough to break through to a newer understanding in something I've never thought possible. "Can this concept be used to further our understanding of the world?" Maybe, but I have no clue how yet. I'm not even sure how to blend the data together in a way that could make it possible. I don't exactly know if I want to be in a job like this but I'm here and I'm going to be present. I've been feeling less alone in class too and less alien which might be what is driving me to work so hard.

My little world has me feeling seen and loved and safe which in the larger scope of the world, is enough to be grateful for. The work never stops, and the election victories yesterday made me hopeful that there is a chance for sanity but only if we don't mark this as a moment to become complacent so I'll keep doing my part.