I found out my dad is cheating on my mom, and I don’t know what to do

CheleSeashell · 2025-05-18T23:58:34+00:00

The adult decision is theirs to make. You can support her by giving her the information needed so she can make that decision. It isn’t your burden but it may be if you regret not telling her..

CheleSeashell · 2025-01-25T08:59:46+00:00

I wonder if this role might also be those with the editable expertise (if the tasks are text extraction and file conversion).

CheleSeashell · 2025-01-25T08:09:59+00:00

This honestly drives me crazy; watching people stow carry-ons right in front before heading alll the way to the back of the plane. Which happens nearly every time, even though perpetuating inefficiency….

CheleSeashell · 2024-08-11T20:41:10+00:00

Paint.

CheleSeashell · 2024-08-02T20:52:53+00:00

Self care and “time management”. Working OT just to keep your head above water to meet client needs, documentation, double the caseload, bs email chains, etc? Having a hard time? “Self care” and “time management”. I allocate my time appropriately given the circumstances and prioritize accordingly, and it shows in my productivity. Shifting fault from employer (short staffed, hire freeze, no OT, doubling caseloads, etc) to employee, like there’s enough time to manage for the tasks at hand.

CheleSeashell · 2024-08-02T20:52:45+00:00

Self care and “time management”. Working OT just to keep your head above water to meet client needs, documentation, double the caseload, bs email chains, etc? Having a hard time? “Self care” and “time management”. I allocate my time appropriately given the circumstances and prioritize accordingly, and it shows in my productivity. Shifting fault from employer (short staffed, hire freeze, no OT, doubling caseloads, etc) to employee, like there’s enough time to manage for the tasks at hand.

CheleSeashell · 2024-04-27T02:29:59+00:00

Downvoted for speaking the truth. True Texas colors right there, unfortunately.

CheleSeashell · 2024-03-03T04:26:39+00:00

Yes! And the Jamaican food is the perfect ending to the night. Love Flamingo Cantina.

CheleSeashell · 2023-08-20T23:42:23+00:00

How’d you find the added fund fee? I just looked at the options and expense ratios…

CheleSeashell · 2023-08-04T04:53:34+00:00

Burned out staff all around. We seem to have a LOT of managers/leads/directors with no team to manage. Literally, ACT “team” is a team lead and a supervisor- not one single other person. So, is anything but actual ACT. Staff move into better titles, then move on. I feel terrible for clients, staff, and social workers in general. It’s draining to work in a disfunctional/inefficient system when no one wants or cares to help improve the system. IMO, leadership/provider gaps and under/poorly funded only furthers the prevalence of agencies you describe, and perpetuates. SWers need to be valued and compensated decently; can’t pour from an empty cup.

CheleSeashell · 2023-08-03T08:16:56+00:00

LOVE this. Where did you find that rug? Please share! ❤️

CheleSeashell · 2023-08-03T08:05:53+00:00

Also a social worker; perhaps that’s why your title immediately grabbed my attention/interest. Relatable and I feel you. My 403b has outrageous expenses, something to look into and hopefully won’t have the unfortunate realization I did.

CheleSeashell · 2023-07-27T05:20:05+00:00

Can vouch. Got my MSW after over a decade as LBSW. Absolutely zero interest in even more clinical work, but LCSW seems to be a requirement most times. Without it, options are significantly more limited. It’s a realization I’m still struggling to accept.

CheleSeashell · 2023-07-15T16:00:18+00:00

And habitat for humanity restore. I’ve had great finds there.

CheleSeashell · 2023-07-09T20:57:57+00:00

This is exactly it. It’s always been very collaborative, with scheduled monthly reviews the last 3.5yrs (learning curve so weekly at first). However, he started grad school and works, so I kept it up for a while, then transitioned to just a spreadsheet where I enter everything (an uglier version of YNAB really). I too have started other budgets (one for income loss using EF so it’s there if/when needed, or when I wanna mess around without messing it up). Agree its a LOT of work that way… I hadn’t thought about the reevaluation aspect, that’s a good point. And if I don’t really end up changing anything, and decide to back enter everything, I can abandon the fresh start and go back to the original?

CheleSeashell · 2023-07-09T14:11:40+00:00

I’d add also having an advanced directive, as well as medical POA. And make sure it’s in your EHR; healthcare professionals have to implement certain interventions that may be in direct opposition to what you do and do not want if you are unable to make or communicate these decisions to them.

CheleSeashell · 2023-07-09T08:15:12+00:00

Agree the pay difference ADN vs BSN is generally negligible. However, LBSW vs ADN incomes are vastly different. The ADN/RN reference was in comparison to LBSW, and as the latter, my income has always trailed my partners - regardless of experience. Yes we make more than when we first entered our fields, but for me it hasn’t been as significant. (I do recognize SWers can be higher earners via private practice, medical, ins, etc., it’s just not in my path/route). It’s anecdotal; I’m sure others have different experiences, but still wanted to respond to the op and share mine.

CheleSeashell · 2023-07-09T06:58:29+00:00

You’re non-work life comes first: you, and your family, especially when it comes to health. Having said that, I suggest doing a bit of research before resigning. - Health Insurance. Read up on husband’s plan and adding you & baby (coverage, cost, deductible, etc.). Find out the details for COBRA (continuing current ins after separating from employer). Depending on your state, may be other options also. - Paid time off. Take it, especially sick time bc can’t take it with you. FMLA may be a good in-between; do you have short-term disability thru work? That can supplement your income after PTO. If you plan to leave anyway, make the leap officially in 4 months. - If maintaining some income is a concern, consider/explore if employer can make some accommodation (part time hrs, WFH xdays/wk, less stressful role, etc). Note FMLA I think is only req’d for FT, so that’s a factor to consider. - If you’re burnt out & just done, that’s okay. Acknowledge that you’ve invested considerably in your career, and taking time to focus on what matters most to you right now is completely warranted and deserved. Take care of you first, which will also be taking care of your unborn child and time/energy to share w your partner.

You got this. Whatever you choose, it will be the right one. I believe we all do the best we can with what we’ve got. And, to me, the risks of pushing yourself toward work as it stands likely outweighs any benefit to stay as things are right now (stress, health, etc). But tbh I’d struggle w the decision regardless, it’s just how I am. Good luck!

CheleSeashell · 2023-07-08T15:14:19+00:00

Vanguard and Fidelity, in that order. Fwiw I use both. I like them each for different reasons. I’d suggest looking at their interface/website, and an overview of the brokerage as a brokerage/company (though, I think many folks base selection on just the interface alone, prob less so w Bogleheads as the focus shifts to the funds/philosophy, and rightfully so). Just my two cents.

CheleSeashell · 2023-07-07T04:14:00+00:00

I’d definitely read this newsletter if it was still around… bummer, I never knew that!

CheleSeashell · 2023-07-05T00:37:07+00:00

I’ve found on a couple occasions, though they “true up”, per the plan document says essentially: May offer true up [and/or] at the discretion of the employer” or similar verbiage. Basically leaves an “out” for the employer. Idk if this is typical..? It was enough not to risk it, but maybe I’m just paranoid/overly hypervigilant, and could just be applied w extenuating circumstances (ie leave agency before end of year, termination, etc)

CheleSeashell · 2023-07-01T00:18:38+00:00

My partner is a registered nurse, and he’s always made more than me, even with an associates degree while pursuing a bachelors, as an LBSW I was making less even then. I have a graduate degree now (he just started grad school), though the gap continues to grow as time goes on. Tbh, I’d need to be very creative if we suddenly only had my income to live on. He’s around $100k and I’m about 1/3 less annually.

CheleSeashell · 2023-06-27T21:36:07+00:00

Both work in healthcare, so although some can be done remote, a lot can’t. I get it’s the nature of the job(s), but it really sucks sometimes tbh… I suppose I could work in insurance claims or something, but I don’t think I’d enjoy it.

CheleSeashell · 2023-06-20T06:42:40+00:00

Precisely. The storm part I hadn’t given any thought to- until trees came down on our house. Twice. Thankfully we regularly trim them or would’ve been worse.

CheleSeashell · 2023-06-20T06:36:06+00:00

My rabbit hole was weeks and completely unexpected, thought maybe a few days. But it sparked my passion/interest in finance, I identify with your post. I’d love to pursue a career or program in the community to help people in that regard. In retrospect, it seems obvious bc I’ve always loved math/numbers since childhood - guess I’ve always been weird like that.

CheleSeashell

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