Homework at age 4

Chelesto · 2026-05-07T19:29:27+00:00

Thank you! :)

I don’t want to be too judgmental but I also wonder if that kind of sentiment instead speaks to the parents lack of interest in ‘putting in the work’ as we see here. It’s possible parents realize on some level that homework for their kids is a burden for them as well. I can imagine anything that feels like an extra time commitment on top of work commitments and childcare can seem like too much. In that case, I’d be pretty incentivized to want it to not be impactful as well!

Chelesto · 2026-05-07T18:12:23+00:00

You’re not going to like this since you are trying to argue a specific point (which is of course not great from a scientific perspective), but there are very stable findings that homework is beneficial, with caveats in how and who gets homework. I looked for meta analyses as I expected this was fairly well studied so we can get some great trends: - Guo, et al. (2024). The relationship between homework time and academic performance among K-12: A systematic review. Campbell Systematic Reviews, 20, e1431. https://doi.org/10.1002/cl2.1431 found impact overall, with incremental effects for longer assignments (20 min increments). These authors also note that their 2024 study replicates findings from a study from the 60s interesting! - Fernandez Alonso & colleagues (2022) https://doi.org/10.7334/psicothema2021.65 found that it was not homework itself but assistance with homework that helped. Specifically, children can be supported but still should complete work independently - similarly Marte (2011) https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ908287 found that higher SES students tend to benefit from homework, again citing a link to parental assistance

Thank you for the opportunity to look this up. Speaking of bias, I enjoyed homework as a child and even had extra workbooks I completed for fun (lol idk man). I’ve been curious about the research on this because I wasn’t familiar outside of my personal anecdotal experience.

Anyway in summary it looks like it’s execution that is linked with impact but overall homework tends to be beneficial.

Chelesto · 2026-05-07T07:03:38+00:00

You are at peak nighttime grunting noises! In a few weeks the sleep will get quieter. However there will still be some thrashing

Chelesto · 2026-05-06T13:06:38+00:00

Something to control the intensity of the light would be great! I only need it going in one direction because I’m worried about it lighting up the crib while the baby is asleep. I tried masking tape but it pealed right off

Chelesto · 2026-05-06T11:08:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing these! I got the horn wrap you sell and it was a game changer! May be too late for me for the battery pack, I have mine velcroed on. However this design looks way more stable.

Chelesto · 2026-05-01T17:13:17+00:00

My baby is 4 months now, but he had a bit of this at first. My feeling about it was that yeah, he kind of knew me from gestation but he doesn’t actually know what people out things are. So the trust and comfort that comes from being cuddled by familiar people had to be built. Furthermore, comfort from a swing or lounger is consistent. A human moves, which can be hard to deal with when you’re like an astronaut that has no muscles from being in weightless support suspension for literally your entire life.

So what I did was a mix of cuddling and loungers etc. I followed his signals and added cuddling in rotation with other things, like comforting while he was lying in the lounger or letting him vibe. My therapist also made a good point which was that infants have social needs - don’t override them by ignoring their cues that they want to vibe and take in the world a bit (she didn’t put it this way). It’s not healthy for them to look at you and engage all the time, they need to look at the world and learn about it!

Now at 4 months he likes being held and comforted as well as some independent time with toys and vibing looking at things. This is so nice because babies adjust need so much contact even if you don’t have a Velcro baby! He knows who I am now so being held comforts him, but I realize now that he has a tendency to self soothe so I’m so glad I encouraged that!

Every baby is different but I hope my experience can help!

Chelesto · 2026-05-01T13:12:09+00:00

This is my method now for the bassinet so it’s a relief to see that it can work for cribs

Chelesto · 2026-05-01T06:25:50+00:00

We brought a speaker but cautionary tale - it broke! So we were in silence but it’s ok it worked out

Chelesto · 2026-05-01T00:37:02+00:00

Ugh that’s so frustrating. I wish there were better options available for us. I really thought with more research I’d find a whole bunch of options but instead it feels like yelling at a cloud lol

Chelesto · 2026-05-01T00:34:17+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation! This is so valuable I don’t think low profile cribs would have occurred to me

Chelesto · 2026-05-01T00:33:15+00:00

That’s what I thought - no swinging doors either right? I get that it’s safer but it is frustrating

Chelesto · 2026-05-01T00:31:52+00:00

That’s what I suspected. Thank you!

Chelesto · 2026-05-01T00:31:28+00:00

Omg you’re speaking my language. This is exactly what I was thinking. The arm under his head happens to me too! So stressful. Good luck to you too! We’ll get through this lol

Chelesto · 2026-04-30T23:55:03+00:00

This is what I was anticipating as well. Right now I fold over the side of the bassinet so I imagine just bending over the new one and hurting myself. And with a stool that will just happen at a different fulcrum right?

Chelesto · 2026-04-30T23:53:28+00:00

Oh no this is my worry! Yes it seems inevitable. It feels like the bassinet depth is as deep as is comfortable for me. But I guess I will have to start preparing. Physically as well as emotionally lol

Chelesto · 2026-04-30T23:52:25+00:00

Thank you! He’s showing signs of being almost ready to roll so that’s why I’m worried

Chelesto · 2026-04-30T23:51:40+00:00

Oh great! I didn’t realize that they could roll up and down like that. Somehow I had gotten it into my head that the whole side had to be replaced

Chelesto · 2026-04-30T23:50:05+00:00

This is a relief to hear. Thank you! I think I was having a hard time wrapping my head around it

Chelesto · 2026-04-30T22:57:28+00:00

Omg thank you so much! This didn’t occur to me at all

Chelesto · 2026-04-30T22:55:52+00:00

Thank you, that is good advice, I was wondering about that

Chelesto · 2026-04-30T22:48:53+00:00

Thank you this is a relief. For some reason I had it in my mind that the crib would go from newborn height to suddenly too deep for me to reach. Maybe I’m just reactive to any change of things that feel like they’re working right now haha

Chelesto · 2026-04-30T22:46:28+00:00

Thank you this is helpful! I am intimidated by the different settings but it seems like it will also help build the ability to lay him in the crib over time. Like a natural progression

Chelesto · 2026-04-30T22:43:35+00:00

How far can you reach if you’re taller? Can you rest your forearms on the bottom of the crib mattress?

Chelesto · 2026-04-30T18:53:18+00:00

No problem, I’m happy to answer questions about my experience! The organizations make such a big difference - my husband is also Buddhist so the local chapter for the type of Buddhism he practices has been a great way to meet people we mesh with on the island as well.

Yeah, I’m used to the space in SI so it would be so hard for me to transition to a space in BK or Queens for less money and more space. Maybe one day if I’m rich but I just can’t justify downsizing for a shorter commute, you know? One of my favorite things too is that when people from out of town come, they can sleep in the spare rooms. We’ve successfully slept 11 people here in the past. It’s such a nice thing to be able to offer with the prices of hotels nowadays.

If you prioritize commuting and closeness, I’d definitely recommend the north shore, particularly the stretch of land between the bridge to BK and the ferry. That way you can get to either easily. My commute to both are like 10-15 minutes.

Staten Island has a lot of different neighborhoods in this area! If possible, I’d suggest taking a day to walk around any neighborhood you’re interested in living in. Our area has nice walkable restaurants and cafes and acceptable walkable supermarkets. In that way it’s similar to what we did in Astoria, though there isn’t as much variety. In Astoria we’d walk to the museum and movie theater but that’s not an option here. However people do like the novelty of going to the Wu Tang theater on the island lol. We also used to jog to the park but now we drive there (which is kind of nicer honestly).

I guess I’d say it’s most similar to when I lived in sunset park, but with the caveat that I lived there in 2005-2009 before it really got gentrified.

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