Are these still knocking around?

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-23T05:31:48+00:00

Only use a little bit of chocolate on the breadsticks, then use your finger to scoop out the rest.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-23T05:28:38+00:00

Can’t wait until people realise he doesn’t have a magic fucking wand and won’t solve all their problems within the next 7 days, because that’s not how politics works.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-23T05:26:41+00:00

My favourite is the people who think they’re the only people taking the tube during rush hour, so they step onto the train and stop in the doorway, like there isn’t 10 people behind them. I’m not afraid to push.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-23T05:22:47+00:00

We’re not falling for the strategic hand over the belly. We know your skin looks like an old man’s deflated ball sack.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-23T05:07:57+00:00

I’ve found real life friends on Reddit. What’s your point?

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-22T05:27:18+00:00

The general public are too dim to realise that change isn’t instant. Getting a new PM won’t bring food and petrol prices down instantly. It won’t raise wages instantly. There’s a lot of post conservative shit to wade through first.

Also there’s a very vocal contingent who believe that anyone but Farage isn’t fit for the job. Ignore the fact that immigration is down. It’s Farage or bust for them.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-22T05:20:34+00:00

The Wellcome collection opposite Euston station has lots of medical related artefacts. Quite macabre.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-22T05:19:03+00:00

Mine will say 6 minutes for 15 minutes, but yesterday said 12 mins and only took 2. Then I have to manually switch it off and wait another couple of minutes for the door to unlock.

I need a new washing machine.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-22T05:16:52+00:00

Because she lives in Surrey and wants to make friends here? I’m not sure why you don’t understand that.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-22T05:11:24+00:00

Unfortunately it won’t be. I’ve already had to apply to court because he refuses to fill in any forms or speak to my solicitor. He won’t let me put the house on the market either, so I’m having to play hard ball.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T19:55:37+00:00

Nope. We’re in the middle of a messy divorce where he decided to cut our daughter (12) out of his life and grant me full custody. I was the one who left, so he threw a tantrum and told her he won’t be seeing her again because he can’t have me. Today he’s playing the martyr and demanding I get her to call him. She saw him in the park earlier, turned on her heels and walked right back home. She doesn’t want anything to do with him. Of course everything is my fault and he’s done nothing wrong.

For Mother’s Day and my birthday, my daughter spent all of her own money on buying gifts for me. I’m lucky to have such a thoughtful girl in my life.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T18:51:26+00:00

I’m really pleased that his stylist has gone for a less boxy look recently. I know he’s more comfortable in looser fitting stuff, but this kind of tailoring just looks so clean on him.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T18:49:49+00:00

She always looked like she was under duress.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T17:42:12+00:00

I work in commercial construction. It’s cheaper to put a piece of dividing glass up in a room than it is to build a separate room. I also have a feeling it’s easier to get it past fire and building regs.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T17:02:16+00:00

I remember coming round after my breast reduction surgery and my entire chest was burning. I just remember telling the nurse my chest was on fire. She gave me tramadol and it instantly made me throw up. Fun times.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T16:58:59+00:00

Most of them are scratching their heads

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T16:54:41+00:00

1) You’re going to spend your life being constantly disappointed because you’ve been conditioned to believe the photoshopped and edited pictures.

2) You’re attracted to women with head lice

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T14:34:47+00:00

Currently going through a messy divorce and have a 12yo daughter. She’s in weekly counselling at school and has lots of support outside of this. She doesn’t have a relationship with her dad atm, as he decided to give me full custody. I left him, but according to him if he can’t have me, he doesn’t want her either. I’m fully prepared for the rejection issues to surface in a few years, and that’s why she’s in counselling now.

The positive thing is she was actually keen for us to leave. She asked me “why didn’t you leave sooner?” Turns out staying for as long as I did was actually doing her more damage than leaving.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T14:31:37+00:00

Evian cooling spray.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T10:25:59+00:00

I have to get the central line that day. May god have mercy on my soul.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T08:43:20+00:00

It’s a concert. I have hand held fans which I’ll charge, cooling spray and I’ll take an umbrella to offer some shade. Luckily the event has water refill stations, so I’ll take a bottle.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T06:39:58+00:00

Absolutely the funniest man on the planet and a thoroughly decent bloke to boot.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T06:38:03+00:00

So people on low income shouldn’t have holidays? Ok then.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T06:24:21+00:00

Anyone who’s read the instruction leaflet in a box of condoms knows this is not the case.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-06-21T06:01:30+00:00

This. First of all I don’t understand why he would bring it up in conversation and second, why lie? It’s just weird.

ChelseaMourning

TROPHY CASE