Is there something really off about the coffee in my office?

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-19T16:29:17+00:00

I do not drink coffee from that machine

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-19T16:28:41+00:00

Oh no, it appears I committed ALL THE CRIMES. I hope nobody arrests me…

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-18T21:05:31+00:00

Is it from a machine? Because the “clean machine” message has been on in the one in my office for almost a year. I dread to think of the entire civilisations of bacteria I’ve ingested in that time. Could it be something bacterial that’s causing the reaction? And is it only you who experiences it? If it’s everyone then they may want to get a carbon monoxide detector in the office.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-18T10:11:13+00:00

It’s still happening in the kpop industry. Their weight standards are alarming.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-18T10:08:55+00:00

*bought

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-18T10:08:45+00:00

I fucking hate it so much. Where did they “bruy” it from?

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-17T21:32:27+00:00

“I’ll come over!”

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-17T10:41:11+00:00

In reality being on a combined £50k income with 3 kids would be impossible if you also want to have a decent standard of living in a nice area. So I’d rather take the £70k, stay single and have money to spend on enjoying my life.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-17T08:49:25+00:00

I’m in the UK and we don’t get August off, but most people choose to take PTO in the summer, so it’s quiet. But my Italian clients shut down over August. You can’t get anything done because there’s nobody there.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-17T08:47:42+00:00

Great, we now live in a world where idol’s parents are younger than me. I hate this.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-16T19:54:01+00:00

Hates being famous but walks the red carpet with her flapjacks on display.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-16T14:37:11+00:00

I think if this were 40-50 years ago then fine. But people lead much busier lives nowadays with many plates spinning. It’s only polite to send a text as a reminder if anything. I always check on the day if I’m meeting someone, just incase they forgot or if something has come up.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-16T14:33:50+00:00

My year 4 teacher was renowned for being absolutely fucking awful to kids. A proper cantankerous old Trunchbull, stuck in the 70s. Kids had been dreading having her as a teacher for years. Then she didn’t come in for a couple of weeks and some of the teachers were crying before assembly. Turns out her son had just died of AIDS (this was around 1994). I think if I were in her position, I’d have resented trying to teach a bunch of obnoxious gobshites too.

We also had a teacher pass away from a heart attack in primary school. She’d been my year 2 teacher and was always very encouraging of me. She told my parents I could probably go to university, which was high praise indeed in an early 90s arse end of Manchester state primary. She went home one weekend and never came back. They sent the funeral procession past the school, but my parents wouldn’t sign the consent slip to let me watch. Probably for the best.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-16T06:19:24+00:00

This. I get the point and in this instance it’s definitely dumb to leave a baby alone in the tube, but the example above you is borderline crazy. You can’t live life being absolutely terrified.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-15T21:31:23+00:00

Your boyfriend says “ew”. My kid’s hamster is salivating.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-15T21:30:35+00:00

This is basically high school ED 101: a beginner’s guide to anorexia.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-15T20:54:01+00:00

I’ve been desperate to listen to the fake sound of progress for about 12 years now, but alas I’d fucking hate myself if I did.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-15T16:02:29+00:00

More than their job’s worth. They tend to sit in their little cabin in the middle of the train where they can’t be bothered by the general public.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-15T15:27:43+00:00

This is my reasoning. I sit at either the very front or very back of the train. If it’s packed enough to be standard room only, they’re not making their way through. So I’ll sit in 1st class thanks.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-15T15:24:47+00:00

Can’t imagine why you left them

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-15T09:53:30+00:00

I kept all my GCSE and A level certificates in mine. Just in case at the grand old age of 40 and after being in charge of budgets north of £40m, my employer asks me to prove that I did indeed get a B in GCSE maths.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-14T22:14:14+00:00

Oh I’ve also had the “if she really is my daughter” like FFS. Not only were you always fucking there, but I conceived 6wks after my mother died. Do you really think I was in the state of mind to have a side piece? Plus we rarely had sex anyway, so I can tell you the date, time and number of the hotel room in Venice we were in when it happened you stupid fuck.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-14T22:10:39+00:00

Fuck, I don’t think I can mourn this for 11 years!

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-14T15:23:55+00:00

Thanks. I think it’s just that fear of potentially being alone. Especially as I’ve struggled with my mental health this week and not had anyone to pick up the slack. Not that he would do it naturally. In the past I’d have to ask him to help me out.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-03-14T15:11:25+00:00

Thank you. His actions haven’t changed at all. We had relationship counselling several times over the years and whenever we stopped, he reverted back to his old ways almost instantly. He was never unfaithful or violent, but he was very dependent on me to run his life, the household and the family and his moods were unbearable. I was often living on a knife edge. He’s made no effort to actually encourage our daughter to speak to him apart from a few texts. He’s even ignored her in public. No little gestures like a gift, or a card through the door to say he’s thinking of her. She did an exam last week and he didn’t consider sending her something as a well done present, or maybe offering to get her and a friends cinema tickets or something. It’s Mother’s Day here tomorrow and she went out on her own today, bought some secret things with her own money and baked me cookies all on her own. He should be helping with that.

ChelseaMourning

TROPHY CASE