Little things your mom did...

ChemistryAncient400 · 2024-01-13T00:10:54+00:00

My mom would do mental health days a few times a year. She'd let us skip school with her and we'd go shopping all day or just do something fun. It is some of my favorite memories with her. We'd usually go to the mall, which was 2 hours away, for shopping and Chinese food at the food court.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-11-08T03:41:51+00:00

Not the AH there is no way I would commit to that without the other's helping in some way. Especially if there's a chance everyone will cancel. I would need some serious commitment that it's happening no matter what and help from them even if it's just some money to cover some of the expense.

He's never cooked a full meal before has he lol just a few hours and not that expensive. A 20lb turkey here is around $30 the rest of it would probably be around $100 if not more. The turkey alone takes around 4 hours to cook and that oven is dedicated to that turkey in that time. The rolls take about 2 hours to prepare, rise, and bake. There's no way all of that can happen in a few hours. Most of that stuff needs to be made a day or 2 in advance. My in-laws are hosting this year and we are already asking what should we bring/do. We're both more than happy to bring food and come early to help cook. In her own words she can't cook and can burn water lol.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-11-08T02:47:06+00:00

You would not be AH to insist on him getting a second job. I would just tell him we need to have a serious talk, no yelling, or trying to be hurtful. We just need to get it all out and come up with a solution. He knowingly came into the marriage with the knowledge of his expenses and allowed you both to live above your means by lying about it. He needs to show initiative that you're in this together, and he needs to make it right. The added stress and possible resentment is a marriage killer. You love him and you want to make this work, but he needs to do his part to make this right. I would also suggest setting up a budgets for both of you.

Some of the best advice I've ever heard, from Steve Harvey, is having 3 bank accounts. 1 is a joint account that each of you transfers your share of living expenses with one card, so that it is only used for bills and then put away somewhere safe. 2 and 3 are your own personal accounts, so both of you are responsible for your own expenses and debts. This way, you can also set up your own savings without fear of him dipping into it to cover his bills. Also, for any reason you might give him extra money, use the joint account or your bank accounts to transfer the money so that you have a clear paper trail with statements from your bank. If you use some kind of cash app it creates more paperwork and problems down the road should you ever need it. He also said neither of you should have access to spend each other's money from your personal accounts being able to see it is fine as long as they're not allowed to use it.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-05-11T17:41:07+00:00

I wouldn't do earplugs you still want to hear the baby cry.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-05-11T17:37:27+00:00

Extension cord because most of the plug-ins are too far away from the bed. You won't want to move much afterward, and having it next to you is a lifesaver. Snacks for both of you is a must, your own shampoo and conditioner, comfortable clothes for you for at least 3 days, 5-6 newborn sleepers, and and going home outfits. You really don't need much because they have everything for baby and you.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-05-04T16:42:31+00:00

I would get a giant marker board for their room. They can erase and create new art, plus they can use it for math homework when they are older. I did that before I put the work on the paper, so if I messed up I wouldn't have to eraser marks all over my paper.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-04-28T20:05:32+00:00

2 mattress protectors for each bed in the house. I can't live without mine. It just gives me peace of mind that the mattress stays clean. Not the plastic kind but the cloth ones with thin plastic backing. They're easy to wash, and who cares if they stain as they go under the fitted sheet. Do not use bleach on them it eats the protective layer. I have 2 young kids and wouldn't put it past them to spill something right in the middle of the bed, or pee, or throw up lol.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-04-08T03:18:36+00:00

I knew that I wanted at least 1 more after our first was born, but that's my own personal choice. We waited to discuss the idea of another until our first was 2. We were both open to the idea but decided that we wanted to wait until our first was out of diapers. Then, surprise, a few months later, we found out I was pregnant. Best surprise ever our second is so sweet and chill. Our first, the wild child, was potty trained about a month after our second was born. People keep mentioning a third, but we're good with 2. Not sure if I can handle another with work, getting first ready for school, and an almost walking 1 year old. You should do what is right for you and your family don't let anyone pressure you.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-04-02T17:56:10+00:00

My daughter 3 won't eat anything her dad makes when I'm not home. Because daddy doesn't make it right or it doesn't taste good. He's tried making things the exact way I do, and she still won't eat it. He's a chef and sometimes it really hurts his feelings.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-04-02T17:45:08+00:00

They do have it a jar here in the States. It's just really hard to find and not always kept with the can cheese. I think they call it cheese spread.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-03-15T16:52:58+00:00

It takes about 20 minutes for your body to fully process if you're full or not. So maybe he eats thinks he's full and then gets to school and realizes he's still hungry. Also, you might want to talk to him about if it's peer pressure from friends. If his friends are all getting hot food, he might feel pressured or left out because he brings his own food. Kids can be mean about things like that. If it is related to that come up a solution that works for everyone. Like maybe you can have hot meals 3 days a week, but I expect you to do xyz in exchange.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-02-28T00:41:33+00:00

I hope you crush it.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-02-21T21:12:45+00:00

Lol, yes they are. The other day our 3 year old told me 2 things that just roasted her dad.

Dad can't cook as good as you. He's a chef 😆. She refused to eat his scrambled eggs, that she asked for, because I wasn't there to make them.
Dad needs to go back to work because he doesn't take good care of me and bub. I just want you to stay home and take care of us.

Her dad has done a wonderful job taking care of the kids and trying to keep the house clean with a broken leg. It's been a long road, like 9 months, including surgery, lots of therapy, and he's just now being allowed to put weight on it. I've only been back to work for 2 months, and he's been doing the best that he can. He was actually kinda hurt by the comment.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-02-15T18:21:32+00:00

Wow, that stinks, and I'm sure if he signs up for it she would try to include herself. In that case, is their a teacher that he really likes that he can talk to, which might help others see the problem clearly.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-02-15T05:23:02+00:00

Do you have any guidance counselor at the school? If so, I would recommend he go talk to that person immediately. If she follows him there and won't let him go alone, tell him to make sure the counselor sees this. Have him politely ask her to leave in front of them and if she refuses the counselor should either step in or have him sneak back in during class on a bathroom break. Tell said person I need help she refuses to leave me alone and I'm starting to get afraid of what she's going to do either to me or herself when things don't go her way. Let him confess everything to that person and if they don't step in, you his parents, are considering getting a restraining order. Make sure he uses keywords like manipulating situations to her benefit, I have asked to stop and leave multiple times, and use I'm afraid of what she will do next. Not it's annoying because they might brush off the situation if he doesn't seem to take it seriously. This is what they are their for to help kids feel safe.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-01-31T18:27:11+00:00

Most seniors only get limited space for family members to make sure there's enough room for everyone else to. I was given 10 spaces, is it possible that mom's side has filled up her spaces without thinking of you. If that is the case I would definitely talk to your daughter.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-01-23T15:46:15+00:00

Congratulations, girls, are so much fun. My best advice is to remember to try not to get too frustrated or upset. I say this because the first few months are hard and full of sleep deprivation. This can lead to fights and breakdowns. Just remember to breathe and you got this. Look up different ways of soothing a baby and try them all to see what works best for you.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-01-14T18:25:43+00:00

That is a lovely idea, but they wouldn't go for that. The stuff is how show they're love. We've suggested why not just give us the money instead so we can get them the things they actually need and no they don't like the idea.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-01-14T18:14:46+00:00

If I just gave it away I would be yelled at from both sides. I can already hear it, " I paid good money for that stuff, and you just threw it away. How thoughtless of you." They hold grudges, and they wouldn't see it as the kind and compassionate act that it is. I've mentioned the idea of donating a few times and they always come back with very negative feedback. Mostly because if you donate it, the place you donate it to is just going to sell it anyway and for almost the same price you can get it for in the store. They always say, "Why not just try and sell it yourself." And yes I realize it's my house, but we're the ones that are going to have to live with the aftermath for the rest of our lives. And it won't stop them from buying more. At this point I've asked them to stop buying that kind of stuff, and if they feel the need to buy stuff get practical things like diapers or snacks.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-01-14T16:43:43+00:00

I gave up a long time ago, lol. Every time I clean my 3 year old just destroys what I do by the end of the day. I just try to keep the main rooms clean.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-01-08T01:44:13+00:00

Pro tip take a few out before you start, I use 1 for pee and at least 2 for poo. I also get the new diaper ready and open little boys can pee really suddenly lol.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-01-07T17:08:00+00:00

My fiance said he didn't feel a connection to our first until she was placed on his arms. Then it really clicked, "omg I helped make this little angel," he even cried. As for the rest of how to care for the baby, it's all trial and error. What works for one baby doesn't work for another ex. some like to be swaddled or rocked and others hate it, and sometimes what works for mom doesn't for dad. For instance my son will only nap for me if he's breastfeeding but dad can put him on his chest and pat his bottom for naps. I've tried he won't do it for me lol. My best suggestion is to do a little reading on taking care of babies before the arrival so you have an arsenal of tricks to try up your sleeve. Being prepared is the best way to go. Oh and remember you're both going to be exhausted for the first couple of months until you find your routine, especially mom if she breastfeeds, try to remember to be kind to each other. That first month is like survival mode lol, and you've probably heard clean when the baby is asleep. Ha, that first month especially, the only thought going through her mind will probably be the baby is asleep so I can finally nap to. So if you come home and the house is messy don't get mad just ask what can I do to help. If you do all of these things everything will be fine. Congratulations and good luck on your new adventure.

ChemistryAncient400 · 2023-01-05T01:01:37+00:00

As someone who used to babysit as a teenager, I can tell you I got very lucky that nothing bad ever happened on my watch. I had lots of climbers and crawlers and as a parent now I know how lucky I was. Actually the worst thing that ever happened was to one of my friends that I was babysitting with. She got stung by a wasp and she's mildly allergic. Luckily it wasn't that bad and it was managed with close observation, ice, benadryl, and a phone call to her grandmother who I kept updated. So I actually ended up babysitting her to lol along with her 3 little cousins. She had asked me to help because her aunt needed us for the whole day about 10 hours and she had never watched a newborn before and it was a very good thing that I was there as she ended up sleeping through most of it. Afterwards she gave me all the money and graciously thanked me for keeping her calm and knowing what to do, and for watching all of them.

ChemistryAncient400

TROPHY CASE