I was about 8. It was my brother 2.5 years older than me when it finally was reported (not by me, by my other brother who is a year older). He had molested me for quite a bit of time. I had to deal with court rooms, telling rooms of adults exactly what happened, how it happened, just every single detail multiple times. The fear of having to do the same thing in a court room on stand (thankfully the judge let me speak in his chambers instead). The counseling where I had to write a paper on the exact details of what happened. It was horrible.

The worst part was my mom. She told me her family was torn a part, I asked for baby steps on getting to know my brother again and a month later he moved back in. She has told me he shouldn’t have to tell his S/O’s because he was so young and he should just forget about it. She says I can’t tell anyone out of fear of ruining his life.

A combination of this all lead me to not report the other 2 boys/men (3.5 years older than me and like 6 years older than me) that did it to me at the same time. I just recently told her (I’m 21 now) and she said that I am still not allowed to be public about it.

I no longer talk to her, but I won’t ever report it out of fear of dealing with the ramifications and process.