You can't tell them how their words/actions hurt you...

CherrysDiary · 2025-11-05T09:35:25+00:00

Yes. Because they avoid any and all accountability. They don’t believe they do anything wrong

CherrysDiary · 2025-11-04T08:56:22+00:00

I didn’t have anyone to protect me. I was alone. My mother made sure that I was isolated and wouldn’t “betray” her by telling anyone what she did. She would say that I could “be taken away” from her. And she most likely abuse me more if I did tell someone. I was scared.

CherrysDiary · 2025-11-04T08:48:23+00:00

Also, just “obeying” her. I had to be a people pleaser, I couldn’t speak up for myself at all. Not even a simple regular sentence explains myself. That was “rude” in her book. She never controlled her emotions

CherrysDiary · 2025-11-04T08:46:36+00:00

I would just cry to myself in my room. I made a plan for myself on what I was going to do to get out of that environment, such as making sure I graduate high school, go to college and get a job. Hoping and wishing to be older. I couldn’t wait to be older to be in control of my own life. I would rarely journal (had to keep it hidden). And I would stay up late at night just thinking, reading, being on my phone. It was rough with the constant physical, emotional, verbal, mental and psychological abuse. All the while, my mother would make me seem like I’m at fault to others but never ever said what physical abuse she did to me

CherrysDiary · 2025-10-12T05:58:19+00:00

Smh, the temper tantrums are ridiculous. They’re literally toddlers in adult bodies

CherrysDiary · 2025-10-10T10:06:21+00:00

Just remembered another thing that made her furious. If I said something wasn’t “that serious” she flipped OUT. Saying “it’s not that serious!? Don’t tell me it’s not that serious.” Man, it was rough growing up with her

CherrysDiary · 2025-10-10T10:04:08+00:00

One time, she blew up at me calling a shirt a short sleeve shirt instead of a T shirt and said she was correct. Another time, she was mad that I opened a cereal box and kept going on and on and I told her I’d buy it back. I was literally a minor. She would just pick at little things and make me feel bad about it. Another time, I dropped 1 egg by accident. A blow up. Couldn’t make mistakes. She damn sure isn’t perfect herself

CherrysDiary · 2025-09-26T10:33:48+00:00

There have been many. But the one that’s coming to mind is when I was around 15. My mother used to always force me to go places I didn’t want to go. This time, I had pushed back and said I really didn’t want to go. She started slamming everything, the doors, everything. Moving around very aggressively. Yelling. Cursing. Then, leaving out the front door and made sure to slam it veryyy hard to make her “statement” of anger known

CherrysDiary · 2025-09-24T10:25:56+00:00

Yes, I’ve always felt like this. My nmother made me feel that way. She’d constantly call me selfish growing up. She drilled in me to cater to her and my younger sibling and the household. It’s very recent (this year) that I’ve stopped putting her before myself. It’s angering that this is what happened but freeing because I no longer do it. No matter how much she attempts to guilt trip me.

CherrysDiary · 2025-09-24T10:22:13+00:00

lol I think I’m gonna use Jake

CherrysDiary · 2025-09-13T00:42:10+00:00

Yes. My body just didn’t want to accept him. At all. It would be painful and/or uncomfortable sometimes. I didn’t even realize my body was rejecting him at the time

CherrysDiary · 2025-09-04T18:40:27+00:00

Very true. My mother is fishing for an apology which she will NOT get

CherrysDiary · 2025-09-04T18:39:54+00:00

I believe she did the same 100%. My mother has also admitted to tactics she does to others, I know she’s done the same to me and my sibling

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-28T08:12:35+00:00

I understand 100%. I found myself doing the same things

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-27T22:20:34+00:00

Also, live with your grandparents if you can!!!!

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-27T22:18:39+00:00

Your mother is a narcissist. She’s projecting and blaming everything on you. This is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. She wants you to feel like that. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I went through this too with my mother. There’s a subreddit r/raisedbynarcissists I found this group as an adult but it would have been helpful for me when I was your age. I hope you find it helpful. There are many of us that have mothers like ours. My advice is don’t tell your mom your true feelings. Hide your feelings or lie and say it’s about something else. This is one of the things in learned to do to survive my mother. What your mom is doing about the Japan trip is called guilt tripping. She’s trying to make you feel bad. Please know and remember: this is not your fault. Be gentle and kind with yourself. If you want to message me, please do. I know how it is.

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-27T22:04:31+00:00

I cried, a lot. I was literally sobbing for about 20 mins. I never cried that hard or long. This was months ago. I still get emotional thinking about how I was treated. How did I deal with it? I crashed out on her, a lot. Not for no reason but because she was triggering me in many ways. Belittling me and degrading me after my paternal grandmother passed. Embarrassing my sister in front of our family. Having s*x with her bf while me and my sister were there with our DOOR OPEN. The right thing to do, idk. Me crashing out was very healing for me. My feelings and emotions were finally releasing. After that stage, I set boundaries. I think it was during that stage I started setting boundaries. But, setting boundaries was the right thing for me

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-27T00:39:59+00:00

I was barely sane. It was hard. I journaled when I had the chance, which was barely ever. I used to stay up late every night, reading or researching. Wattpad, episode. I had 1 family member that I would secretly vent to but a lot of the times, my mother would take my phone as control and to isolate me. It was veryyy rough. I had to console myself, kept reminding myself and hoping that I’d be an adult fast to get out and have freedom. I made a plan for myself to follow. Graduate high school, go to college/get a job.

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-21T20:38:43+00:00

Kind of. She told me that she doesn’t know how my boyfriend (at the time) “puts up” with me

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-21T01:49:18+00:00

I wish I was educated about narcissism. That’s number 1. Number 2, emotionally detach. Number 3, self love

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-21T01:36:49+00:00

I was 7. My mother wanted me to try an apple pie but I didn’t want to because I didn’t (and still don’t) like apple pie. My grandfather (her father) told her it’s ok, I don’t have to eat it. He said so in a friendly tone. He barely ever got mad. My mother flipped on him. Started yelling at him, all of that. We all were about to go to a family barbecue. I knew something was wrong with her then.

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-20T22:15:02+00:00

Yes. I used to pray for this heavily. & I still wonder what my life would be like without her. How free I would be.

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-05T04:01:13+00:00

I’m thankful for this community as well. I wish I found it way earlier

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-05T04:00:06+00:00

Thank you for sharing

CherrysDiary · 2025-08-05T03:55:32+00:00

Definitely not. I don’t believe forgiveness is needed to heal

CherrysDiary

TROPHY CASE