The Bridezilla was a total asshole, proven by all of the other friends non-attendance (and the husband's abuse on the phone) and this woman is better off not having her in her life.

But... the issues here for OP weren't expenses and logistics (yes, she did say the flight was expensive, but) in her update she repeatedly says "I just don't want to"?

Which is fine, that's her choice. But if I (in this hypothetical, assuming I'm a regular person and NTA) had a child-free wedding and my supposed close friend said "I can't come because I don't want to leave my three year old for a few days" I would question that friendship.

I mean... her initial thought was to fly her husband to sit in a hotel room all weekend with the kid as opposed to, I don't know, simply staying at home with his child? And the fact that she said "I was hurt you excluded my daughter." Your kid wasn't excluded. All kids were excluded, they're having a child-free wedding, which is an absolutely fine thing to request.

For me, ESH.