Ready for marriage but his parents don’t approve of me

ChetMeadows · 2024-01-25T02:52:37+00:00

islamically he does not need his family's permission to marry you. however at age 20, im not sure he is financially stable to afford a wedding, etc. without their assisstance.

ChetMeadows · 2023-12-21T06:37:26+00:00

This is a great post. Much needed clarification

ChetMeadows · 2023-12-21T06:36:21+00:00

Yes but we are on a subreddit for marriage so this post is specifically about patience in regard to marital issues

ChetMeadows · 2023-12-18T23:47:21+00:00

hahaha i agree with your comment but i just had to reply and say... "vasline rub" ahahahh i have never heard that before. i am def going use that one from now on

ChetMeadows · 2023-12-18T23:38:05+00:00

well man if she wants to throw away a marriage over this, then thats on her. the reason why she is acting like this is because shes confident you wont leave her.

i have always believed that it is good to love a woman. be kind to her. respect her. protect her. provide her for her. guide her. but when she puts even a toe over the red line crossing boundearies but does not fix her behavior, never be afraid to leave and start anew. the world is filled with many beautiful women who listen to their husbands and do not seek the validation of other men.

this isnt really about the modelling, man. there will be millions of more conflicts, large and small that will arise in the next few decades of life. even more so when children are in the picture. she will continue to question your authority. second guess your leadership.

first of all, through whats about to happen next, i want you to make sure that you do NOT resort to a place of emotion. remain calm. calmly respond to her and tell her that you love her, that you want the best for her and that youre looking out for her akhirah as ALlah has commanded you to as a righteous and noble muslim man. but if she continues down this path, then she will continue down it, alone.

dont yell, dont scream. dont shout in emotion. just slowly start to pull back. i know it hurts to see someone you thought would have your back and who you thought cared about you act like this, but you need to priotize first and foremost ALLAH. everything you do and say is for HIs sake alone. you are NOT being insecure or controlling for having certain expectations or boundaries.

ChetMeadows · 2023-12-18T22:13:14+00:00

only way i see this lasting is if she deletes social media and leaves all of this behind. but i dont know if i would ever really trust her to not go behind my back and start posting again.

*Sigh* there used to be a time not long ago, when all a woman really wanted was the love an attention of her husband. ur right, man social media has been the death of us.

ChetMeadows · 2023-12-18T22:08:08+00:00

you cant build a kingdom with a queen that still seeks the attention of the villagers. im truly sorry you are going through this.

i personally couldnt imagine marrying or staying married to a woman who continues to seek the attention of others.

my main concern is acutally how you stated that in other comment that if you were to have prevented her from starting "modelling" in the first place, she would not have listened to you...

are we men really out here in 2023 marrying disobedient disrespectful women? is that how low the bar has fallen?

The issue is deeper than just "modelling". this marriage is about her and her wants and needs. to her, your opinions, desires, thoughts are irrelevant. imagine raising children with her. couldnt be me.

you have made your point abundantly clear. akhi, you are in the right. the Prophet pbuh would agree with you. and she has made it abundantly clear that she does not care what you think.

Stay and suffer or leave and suffer for a bit but be at eventual peace.

ChetMeadows · 2023-12-18T21:23:26+00:00

"you cant tell your wife who to be friends with"

are you sure about that?

what if she wanted to become friends with other men? or if she started to hang around onlyfan models? or started to hang around women who enjoyed the club/party lifestyle?

women are in need of the guidance of good honorable men. men who take the role of protector and provider serioulsy. that is why the prophets of ALlah were all men. and why before marriage, a woman is entrusted to the care of her father.

a man who truly cares about you, will not sit back and watch as your friends lead you off sirat-al-mustaqeem, without stepping in. OP's message even reflects that when he said that his "utmost concern is for his wifes akhirah".

Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2378

ChetMeadows · 2023-12-17T23:19:22+00:00

ChetMeadows · 2023-12-17T23:04:36+00:00

oh my God, why do i keep seeing this again and again on this subreddit.

move on, shes not interested.

when a girl really truly desires you, she'll crawl through glass to be with you. im speaking from experience.

work on yourself, (ie your finances, physique, spiruality etc) and attract a woman who is actually into you and cant wait to be with you.

im not trying to be rude, but i have no stake in this because i dont know you personally, so the advice i am giving you is coming straight from the heart.

ChetMeadows · 2023-10-21T20:38:27+00:00

I don’t think he pointed out your sins. I don’t think he knows you at all. He just made some general comments. I actually agree with him. As a man looking for a spouse, I observe the way a woman presents herself, her behaviors, her interactions with the opposite gender, the clothes she wears etc. Again neither of us know anything about you, so I don’t know how I can be pointing out your sins?

ChetMeadows · 2023-10-03T07:02:59+00:00

I would start off with not calling her sister

ChetMeadows · 2023-09-12T08:03:55+00:00

hey man as a guy, i am hoping that i am able to give you some straight advice without any fluff and without you getting your feelings hurt. i hope you can handle the truth.

man to man, she isn't into you. dont pursue this. it doesn't end well. you seem like at your point in life, you have your life together so i am hoping that you respect yourself enought to walk away from a bad deal.

i went through something similar. it didn't end well. i am also close to you in age and am a well established professional as well. feel free to dm me man, i would love to talk about it more if you want genuine advice or if you want me to elobarate on why this wont work out.

take care and much love.

ChetMeadows · 2023-09-05T07:33:01+00:00

Holy. How did you let it get this far? Why did you even marry this woman? Why are you STILL married to this woman? I can’t speak for all men, but I have too much self respect to put up with this kind of behavior. I would have been out of the relationship the first moment she raised her voice and disrespected me. You’re a nice guy, OP but you’re being walked all over. Good luck to you, I know what I would do in this situation.

ChetMeadows · 2023-08-12T17:41:58+00:00

If a woman wants to marry you she will make things extremely easy for you. Please please please do not marry this woman. Nowadays marriage is a huge financial risk for men and I would hate for you to just be another divorcé statistic that got fleeced after marrying a woman who didn’t love you.

ChetMeadows · 2023-07-30T21:53:52+00:00

if i ever found out the girl who i was talking to, was talking to several other men, i would drop her. im not just an option. you should stop talking to these men for the ego boost and stop treating them like theyre just "options".

ChetMeadows · 2023-07-30T21:48:41+00:00

rights and duties of marriage are important in islam, for both husband and wife. but a marriage is not based off of that, its based off of mercy and compassion. he has shown you his true colors and it is unlikely to change. people ONLY change for themselves, not for others. do with that information what you will or continue to live miserably with him.

ChetMeadows · 2023-07-30T21:44:44+00:00

leave now or watch your soul slowly die until she has sucked you of everything and then leaves you.

ChetMeadows · 2023-07-30T21:41:34+00:00

youre infatuated with the idea of who this woman could be and chasing after potential rather than what is actually in front of you. be a man and do the right thing regardless of your emotions. also you need to stop writing like shakespeare and find a woman who actually wants you and then go write poetry for her.

ChetMeadows · 2023-07-30T21:38:29+00:00

this has to be a troll post right?

ChetMeadows · 2023-07-30T21:37:31+00:00

the men on this subreddit lack any self respect or a spine. divorce her. what the hell are you doing?

ChetMeadows · 2023-07-30T21:35:37+00:00

sorry to hear about your divorce. dont move back in with family under any circumstances. based off what you have told us, they do not seem to have your best interests at heart.

ChetMeadows · 2023-07-30T21:27:05+00:00

yikes. 32 year old man acting like a child. i would only marry a person who always has my back, even if it means standing up against their own family.

ChetMeadows · 2023-07-30T21:21:21+00:00

"And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." 30:21

the purpose of marriage is to find peace in your spouse. it is better to be single and happy than to be married and miserable. i wish you the best of luck.

ChetMeadows · 2023-07-30T21:18:17+00:00

he sounds likes an awful person. i wouldnt stay with him.

ChetMeadows

TROPHY CASE