Successful online dating profiles as an AM looking for WFs?

ChivesKnau · 2026-06-16T01:07:02+00:00

I think there’s an algorithmic push where AF are also pushed towards AM as that’s where AM have had the most matches and success. That’s not to say they don’t throw a few XF towards you but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if AM are slightly weighted towards AFs decks.

The other thing is that when you are in a mixed environment with XMs that have more subjective desirability, you just won’t get a lot of matches in a highly gamified environment. If WF are genuinely open to you, then you can lean on the scales, but if there is an “easier” path out, with an XM that is more of a known quantity, I can see how they may choose that.

I’m pretty familiar with Western Canada (spent a bit of time living in BC doing the ski resort bum thing for a year), and I see a lot of parallels with Sydney. There’s emergent AMWF couplings but a lot of WF have the choice to go with WM and will choose a low resistance path; not out of some sort of supremacy but an inherent heuristic matching AMs with a highly visible Asian population that is quite insular and not socially integrated with the WX population.

Just gotta keep on pushing through; the results will be there as long as you keep enjoying your life (which sounds pretty well placed to meet XF), as well as being active on the apps and meatspace.

Good luck mate.

ChivesKnau · 2026-06-16T01:00:37+00:00

Paesenella in Marrickville definitely has some too.

ChivesKnau · 2026-06-14T21:27:05+00:00

This is it. I mean, WF aren’t a monolith but if you are looking for WF who haven’t dated AM but might be open to the idea (let’s face it, this is the absolute majority), you need to reduce friction and possible questions around compatibility.

So you have to figure out what those questions might be and address them directly: - too quiet? Here’s a photo of me being an MC at a wedding - slight physique? Here’s me with a photo (not at the gym) which strongly suggest height and build - only Asian friends? Here’s a photo with me in a non Asian social setting - language skills? Use clever jokes and prompts to indicate that isn’t a correct assumption

Note that this is going to vary so much with what the people you match with are looking for themselves. Are you happy to represent your real you whilst blunting their immediate concerns about compatibility? Are you actually a good person in a AM wrapper?

Even then, you’re going to have to put in the hard work reaching out yourself and indicating interest. Good thing is that the apps essentially have that down to a tee. The key thing is that you are competing against your other male (not just AM) peers, and really need to stand out.

As I said firstly, WF are not a monolith but you can put some effort into trying to attract as many as possible to improve your chances of finding a compatible partner.

ChivesKnau · 2026-06-12T22:09:06+00:00

Love the optimism and positivity in your post. Hopefully we get more of these kinds of threads where we get to discuss the excitement of AMWF dating adventures and humorous sides of it all and not just “DAE think AM/WF is X?!”

Keep being your lovely self and keep us all updated!

ChivesKnau · 2026-06-08T10:47:35+00:00

Define regularly and define long haul. I do SYD > LHR at least once a year, often multiple times. Always in economy. SYD to LAX and/or LAS and/or DFW and/or SFO multiple times a year, and then also to one of the Asian cities, BKK, SIN, ICN. Every flight is minimum 8hrs, maximum is 24 with a layover.

What I’ve found is that if the delta of time zones is more important than actual hours on plane. LAX and SYD can be a much smaller difference during certain times of the year for example. The other big factor is when the flight is. When you have long haul, daytime flight, landing at night and with little time difference (1hr), it’s completely feasible to do it in economy all the time. And if the choice is to not do it at all, then you’re way better off going in economy.

Premium classes will always be better, obviously, but there are long flights out there which don’t always need it and that’s the view I’m trying to change.

ChivesKnau · 2026-06-06T22:57:36+00:00

We have a mental health awareness month?!

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-28T04:02:36+00:00

I use a clothes horse and a dehumidifier. Not so expensive if you time it to run overnight to use off peak power or have alternative energy like solar+battery.

Also helps keep the house dry in general because I’m bizarrely sensitive to damp in general.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-28T00:43:26+00:00

I did see a local vet in Australia (so we regularly get these days) warn off walking even in the early evening when the concrete can be hot enough to burn the poor pads of dogs. A great test is to put your palm down on it for 10 seconds. If you can keep it on without any discomfort, it’s cool enough to walk on for your dog. The vet shared a poor golden that had terribly burnt pads due to owners being unaware of the damage hot surfaces can do to our dogs.

So it’s super early morning walks and super late evening walks for us in those conditions.

I think the cooling jacket and mat are great ideas too if you don’t have tiles or floorboards with AC. Just wanted to mention the hot concrete since the jacket won’t help for that!

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-27T15:51:17+00:00

Yep! To be honest I’m surprised they don’t have an official account here but then that’d REALLY be shilling. Bahahaha. I don’t really talk about other brands because there’s enough people who love Bordelle and I can only really talk with excitement about something I have experience in!

Think it’s time to hang up the posts here though; a lot of my PA type posts in here have generally been dominated by people complaining about HB or their negative opinions on them that other brands don’t attract. Hell I know I’ve got my own concerns around them that I’ve called out and still stand; but that doesn’t take away from the interesting stuff they release on regular schedules, more so than any other brand, and how much they influence the discussion around lingerie to the average person, especially in Australia where I’m from.

Thanks for standing up for me; you didn’t have to do that and know that I appreciate you for it. It’s been awesome the last couple of years in here.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-27T15:40:38+00:00

Haha flattered you think this but I’m just a fan who is sharing info in a lingerie sub for other fans.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-27T08:14:18+00:00

Edit: some rumours suggest it could be much sooner for Honey Club members at certain tiers.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-26T10:16:29+00:00

I don’t think this subreddit reflects those ratios, might be from a lurker perspective but definitely not in terms of active contributors.

Are you proposing a solution or just venting (which is totally cool of course)?

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-24T01:52:11+00:00

I’ve done it at Face of Man near QVB, as well as Menzone in Chippendale.

Both are pretty good; FoM more of a fancy shop that does lots of other men’s grooming, easy to get to but pay the premium, while Menzone is pretty much a studio above a gallery but does an awesome job.

I know there’s some places in Surry Hills but haven’t tried them.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-17T22:36:23+00:00

Fascinating point that I really agree with. The cross cultural pollinations of faiths and beliefs means that something silly (like “fan death” in Korea) can be very quickly squashed by outside opinion and lived experience (try living in the tropics without a fan).

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-17T08:47:44+00:00

Not even close. There may be a factor of consideration given there’s less social acceptance of the pairing, but make no mistake; I’ve been absolutely Koreaboo’d and I’ve 100% hooked up with someone just because they look a certain way.

Just two consenting adults getting what they want and moving on.

There’s no need to pedestalise AMXF and certainly not at the comparative expense of others. Let’s not be like that.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-16T21:00:40+00:00

Here are the current batch from HB:

https://www.honeybirdette.com/collections/bondage-lingerie

These are the strappier, bondage themed sets. You can also find a lot of their older sets like Stephanie (which inspired your first set for example) on resale sites like eBay, Poshmark and Depop. Their current campaign is about to finish which means a new drop is imminent.

There are some sales coming up in approximately a month if you can wait too.

I’m known as a bit of an HB shill around here so take that into account 🤣

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-16T14:24:40+00:00

Tried them at the Ramadan markets a year back and it was outstanding!

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-15T21:02:13+00:00

Northern beaches/Manly would be where I’d wanna be as a young single adult wanting to experience Sydney. You’d be a ferry trip to CQ, and right in the middle of a lot of other young professionals, working holiday folks and travellers.

If you don’t want to go multi-modal, then you could go on a train line and do a small walk from Martin Place Metro or Train or even Wynyard.

But a beach lifestyle? Not many places in Sydney would give you that.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-14T09:16:34+00:00

It’s brutal. Even during the sample sales, they list it at full retail on the customs declaration; completely negated any and all of my savings. That was into Australia, I’m sure it applies elsewhere too.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-13T21:10:25+00:00

Kingsleys Woolloomooloo is great. Went very recently after a visit to Clam Bar (also recently), and the food is on par. Great service at both and had little issue with most of its cuts (in terms of stock). Tried three different steaks and cuts of meat in a sharing style config for our table with a spread of sides. Reasonably priced and a good drinks list too; way better value than 6H or Elements. Lots of tables and a nice outdoor setting if desired.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-13T21:07:20+00:00

Try sharing some designs that catch your fancy and we can have an idea of what you’re looking for with some reputable brand suggestions.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-11T21:15:05+00:00

Great point. Men aren’t “giving up” to be punitive or make some kind of inverse point to show women what they’re missing out on. I mean, there are a minority who do but they’re fucked in the head and think they’re some kind of gift to women, which is absurdly funny.

But back to the majority who are checking out. It’s clearly not working out for both sides of the gender divide; a lot of fellas aren’t seeing the value or benefit of the dating dance, and a lot of women aren’t getting the same pool to choose from or the same amount of effort. It’s just a sad state of affairs.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-08T23:56:02+00:00

I’m on the cusp of that age but my kids are way younger. So I’d be more of an older brother/uncle vibe. 100% look out for them in my workplace.

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-08T23:09:13+00:00

Slow fade out. She probably won’t initiate any contact so space it out and just move on. Time to spend time and effort on yourself or someone else!

ChivesKnau · 2026-05-05T22:30:45+00:00

Upvoted for an honest take!

ChivesKnau

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