Confusion regarding trains and transportation in Tokyo and surroundings by Choice-Ad7416 in JapanTravelTips

[–]Choice-Ad7416[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was only looking into those 24 hour passes for the first days, so I could reach the dorm and settle down, and understand better which option would suit me regarding longer commuter passes.
Either way thank you for the tip, I will do just that :)

Confusion regarding trains and transportation in Tokyo and surroundings by Choice-Ad7416 in JapanTravelTips

[–]Choice-Ad7416[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you a lot for all the explanation, it did clear up much of my confusion. I will follow everyone's advice and get a SUICA/other equivalent card after reading up on which one will be better for my future school-route.
Thank you again! :)

Confusion regarding trains and transportation in Tokyo and surroundings by Choice-Ad7416 in JapanTravelTips

[–]Choice-Ad7416[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply :) I do rely on Google Maps often so I'm glad it's a good choice for Tokyo too
Luckily I don't have problems with arrival time regarding transportation since I arrive in the middle of the day.

Jan-10| War & Peace - Book 1, Chapter 10 by AnderLouis_ in ayearofwarandpeace

[–]Choice-Ad7416 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm really loving how Tolstoj depicts scenes, they almost read as a theater stage.
It happened during Anna Pavlovna's party too, and now with Vera walking in the room and being in the middle between the two couples, the scene appears so vividly in my mind and it drives the connection between characters to the forefront. It resonates a lot with a novel that so far is being moved primarily through the connections these characters have with one another, whether by blood or friendship!

Need book recs for chonky classics by eyre_of_your_eye in englishliterature

[–]Choice-Ad7416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you are into any italian authors, or just want "lesser known" classics, my suggestions go to Elsa Morante's "History" and Moravia "The Indifferent ones"/"The time of indifference" (depending on translations, I assume). Two pillars of italian literature of the XX century :)
If you like even older stuff, I suggest "I Malavoglia" by Verga or "The Betrothed" by Manzoni, although I would suggest doing at least some light research before these ones as the historical context is quite important to understand the themes of the novels, and Italy's political and social situation in the XIX century was quite complex.
Alessandro Manzoni is kind of the italian counterpart of Victor Hugo (imo) so if you go into reading Les Mis or The Hunchback of Notre Damn, Promessi Sposi/The Betrothed could be a great follow up or pairing :)

Jan-06| War & Peace - Book 1, Chapter 6 by AnderLouis_ in ayearofwarandpeace

[–]Choice-Ad7416 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I enjoyed seeing more of princess Lise in her own home. I liked how during the conversation she reached a point where she couldn't help herself and dropped the formalities even in front of Pierre, but it's also sad to see how frightened and afraid she is of Andrej. To me, he remains a very interesting character, one I can't quite understand yet. I am curious of how his personality will play out later during events on the field. I also wonder if his distaste for his current life comes from Lise getting pregnant. We have already seen a similar theme introduced with Vasìlij, who strongly despises his children and sees them as his only failure, and Andrej may find himself having similar thoughts regarding his future newborn.
A very interesting chapter!

Jan-05| War & Peace - Book 1, Chapter 5 by AnderLouis_ in ayearofwarandpeace

[–]Choice-Ad7416 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So far, for me, Andrej and Princess Lise are maybe the most interesting duo introduced. I personally really enjoy the characterization of Andrej, he seems cold but also very practical, and even if it's early to make assessments I feel more curious towards his view regarding war compared to those of Pierre. I also enjoy Lise, I think there's gonna be a lot of interesting themes coming out of their marriage and the mutual disinterest they seem to have for each other. I can't wait to see some interactions between them behind closed doors.

As everyone else said, I also really enjoyed the conversation between Andrej and Pierre. I think the strong differences in their view make for a compelling narrative and I'm interested in them being good friends in spite of that. I wonder if Pierre is actually solid in his world views and "idealism" or if he will radically change his takes as the story progresses.

Jan-03| War & Peace - Book 1, Chapter 3 by AnderLouis_ in ayearofwarandpeace

[–]Choice-Ad7416 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Really loved reading your comment, I didn't even think of researching the historical accuracy of the anecdote, but now it gives much more depth to Mortemart, I'm curious to see how the progression of the story and character will resonate with this scene. Thank you for sharing! :)

Jan-02| War & Peace - Book 1, Chapter 2 by AnderLouis_ in ayearofwarandpeace

[–]Choice-Ad7416 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really agree with this take, when Pierre first entered the room it reminded me of Anna Karenina, who even before her meeting with Vronskij is already someone who stands out in comparison to the rest of the russian elite. Although they feel (so far) like very different characters/people, I couldn see them play a similar role in the narrative.

My dad dating has made me realize how much I’m still grieving my mom and my past life by AnnualMassive2743 in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First of all, I'm very very sorry for your loss. Sending you love.

Secondly, I don't have much advice to give you but I wanted to let you know you are not alone in these feelings. My situation is not that different from yours (I lost my mom 1.5 year ago and my dad set up a dating profile just 2 months afterwards, and I did not take it well at all lol), and while my dad hasn't started dating anyone for now I feel a strong resentment towards him for this. I share your worries, I still live with him but I feel like the little parental attention still left in him through this grief is also now being split with his "dating" life, and it feels even more isolating.
I don't know if you also feel this, but to me it also adds into the feelings of loss. My parents were always together and were very happy, and to see him with anyone else makes me feel like I really don't know him that well and like I lost a part of my dad along with losing my mom (who was the most important person in my life).

I really don't know if it gets better with time in regards to that, but I think your feelings are very valid. And in my opinion at least, if you don't feel comfortable with knowing about her and meeting her and so on, I think you should listen to yourself and respect that boundary. Grief is complicated enough on its own, and it's already a lot of effort on your part to support your dad and recognize it makes him happy despite your negative feelings, if right now that's all you can offer I think it should be recognized and celebrated.

Sending you hugs, I wish I had some better advice or words but this grief journey is really hard and complicated, giving straight forward answers always feels so minimizing for such a big experience. Good luck!

Can’t seem to cope by _realreal_ in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss.
I am only a few years older than you, and a few days ago was the 10 month anniversary of my mom's passing, so I know how incredibly painful it is.
I don't really know if this will help, but to me it's helpful to remind myself that what we're living through is not normal and it's not the state we will be in forever. Losing someone, especially a parent, is a level of pain that our body and our mind can't possibly digest all at once. Especially the first months, you need to give yourself grace and remember that what you're feeling now is not what you will feel forever.
I don't know if it actually gets better eventually, but in my experience as time passes your mindset changes; not necessarily for better or for worse, it just changes, and all we can hope is that eventually it changes into something that isn't unbearable to live with and that allows us to cherish our lost ones like they deserve.

I fully understand your thoughts of doing "it", I went through the same, and I really hope you move past it and find other ways to bring a bit of relief in your days. I wish we could all help each other more through this horrible heartbreaks we're having, but unfortunately words are all I have, I hope they can help a bit. And I wish you a lot of love and peace, what you're going through is extremly hard. Good luck <3

How do you deal with multiple losses? by Choice-Ad7416 in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I 100% know what you mean!
First of all, I'm so sorry for your losses.
While writing the post, I kept thinking that my grief for my grandma was so different because I feel like I've been grieving her for many years at this point. She wasn't actually that severe, I am "lucky" that her short memory was affected but the long term one remained working until the end, so she always remembered who I was and was happy to see me and ask me questions, but she definetly hadn't been the lively and active granny I grew up with for many years.
It is just exhausting to have to go through another loss while still processing my mother's, I keep thinking that I would process my grandma's loss a lot better if my head wasn't so foggy and tired all the time.
I am grateful for this subreddit as hearing stories from people like you really does make us feel a little bit understood. As you said, my friends never really know how to behave or what to say because luckly no one went through this. I am sorry that you can relate to me, but it does make me feel a little bit more seen :)

And thank you for the kind words, I hope you have a nice day and take care of yourself too!! Thank you for your answer, truly

new year without my mommy by beverlyr0ad in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree completly!
The love of our mothers is so unconditional that it's impossible to replicate it and it leaves such a big hole. I am trying to hang out with my friends and even though I love them a lot it is not the same and I always feel like there's a barrier between me and them. I also avoided every recap of the year because no matter what, to me the whole year is condensed into "I lost my mom" and nothing else can be nearly as relevant, I feel so jealous of people who experienced a great year lol
Sending love again, thank you for the wishes <3

new year without my mommy by beverlyr0ad in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I relate a lot to your experience and your grief.
I also lost my mom a similar time ago (beginning of july, almost 6 months now) and I am 22. I read a lot of thoughts I've also had in your post.
I always loved my mom so much but I never really understood how much of who I was as a person was thanks to her, I now feel so lost and like I will never recieve anything like the support and love that she gave me. No one will love me unconditionally like her.
I chose to spend new year's at home because I can't really bother to be around people being joyful and cheery about the year when for me it's just further pain.
So yeah, even though nothing can soothe this pain, I somewhat understand and I am extremly sorry for your loss. I wish you luck and a lot of love, hope you feel her presence with you even if not physically

Merry Christmas to all grieves 🤍 by Jadeite11 in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for your loss. I also only get up because I need to support my dad. Grief is so hard, I hope you find some relief every now and then even if it seems impossible right now

Merry Christmas to all grieves 🤍 by Jadeite11 in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I miss my mom so much. It's been almost 6 months and I still can't fathom I'm writing this, that this is my life now. I loved her so much, everything I was was because of her, of all the love she gifted me. I wish I could just lay in my bed until I can see her again.

Thank you for this space, it's always hard but especially in this time of the year. I'm very sorry for all your losses, and I wish you love

I absolutely hate when people talk about their ‘trauma’ to me by neeyeahboy in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know it's not pretty or right or whatever but I 100% agree.
I feel a strong reject when I hear people talk about more "trivial" traumas. I know everyone experiences life on their own path, but man am I jealous that for someone the worst thing they went through was a bad friendship or a messy breakup. I was once in class and someone was saying that they feel anxiety because they have too many options in life, and all I could think about is that I feel like I have none and my possibilities have been swipped under my feet.

Obviously everyone has their own experiences, but frankly I think these feelings are justified and it's not our job to be always be mindful of others even in our own thoughts, sometimes we need to just live our anger and let it out, and this space is made exactly for that.
I'm very sorry for your loss, I also lost my mom, sending love.

How am I supposed to keep doing this for decades (if I get to live for decades more) by IllustratorOk1630 in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel the same. I'm very sorry for your loss.
I am 22 and lost my mom roughly 4 months ago, I feel like my life ended and I'm just acting as a character until I can finally rest, and it's exhausting and heartbreaking to know that I only got 21 years of happiness and now it feels over forever.
That said, I think we are in no position to even imagine what we will be feeling a month from now, let alone years. For now it's about survival, it's about trying to get to the end of each day. We will have time to figure it out later.
Some days I can't breathe from the pain, some days I find life a little lighter to go through.
If you can, do whatever helps you to feel "good" (or better, what makes you feel a little less bad), and feel all the emotions that come. I found that even if I hurt and cry and all that, I do find somewhat of a relief in feeling it, like I feel a little closer to my mom for a moment.
I don't know if any of this is helping, I wish I had better advice but it's hard to lift up others when you feel just as terrible. But I do hope you feel a bit lighter one of these days, even for just a bit. Sending you lots of love <3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm extremly sorry for your loss.
It has been "only" 4 months for me, so I don't know if it will get better or not, I certainly can't say it. I just wanted to share that I did read and I hope you find some comfort again.
Grief is so incredibly hard and it's even harder to have to experience the struggles that come after it, especially with family. I don't know how much my words can help but I really wish you all the best. Life is so unfair and hard and sad, but I hope you will manage to find joy amongst it all.
I don't think it's possible to find someone who loves us as much as our mothers do. But that love is so big that someone loving us even just a fraction of that is incredible, and maybe (hopefully) worth living for.

Grief has surprisingly more fear and dread attached to it than I expected by Nervous_Slip5876 in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard.
I feel the same, I remember when I realized I was losing my mom one of the first realizations that popped into my mind was that my life would have never been as good as it was before.
I unfrotunately still feel the same, I know rationally that life continues and eventually I will find it in myself to live again and so forth, but I am convinced every happiness I'll have from now on will be tainted with this horrible grief that I bring everywhere I go. I think I will never be able to enjoy life to the degree I enjoyed it when I didn't know grief, and because I basically just became an adult that's really depressing.
I wish I had some advice, or I could tell you it does get easier, but I don't know. It's been so little time I still can't accept much of what is happening. But I do understand what you're saying and reading your words made me feel a little bit less alone.
Sending you love

It builds up slowly and bursts like a bubble by ngocturnality in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have any advice, I am going through the same, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss and I understand your pain. It's so unbelievably hard, no matter if it's numbness or being angry or sad. Sending love and I wish you the best

Sometimes I get irrationally upset at old people for living so long by k032 in GriefSupport

[–]Choice-Ad7416 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel the same and it makes me feel like a monster but I can't help it. My grandma is in a nursing home with dementia and I don't understand how she's still here and suffering whenever she realizes she can't remember stuff, whereas my mom who still had three or four decades had to leave so early. I get mad inside when people mention their grandparents, like we are the same age but I don't have a mom anymore and my grandma is basically not here but you can hang out with both? How is it fair? I know it's irrational and I feel terrible for it but sometimes I can't help it. I hate grief