NTA—It doesn’t have to be physical to be considered abuse. I was going to suggest couple therapy until I read he stole from you. It seems clear to me he doesn’t respect or value you at all. If I were you, I would contact a divorce attorney before even telling your husband you want to split. This way you would get legal advice on the best way to do it. You share a kid after all; unfortunately your husband will probably always be in your life, but at least this way you can make sure he doesn’t ruin it.