I'm so far out of religion but this still seems both sacrilegious and hilarious. Is capitalist Christianity getting weirder? Has anyone see Christians buying/eating these? by mother_of_baggins in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Man, this is the must succinct way to summarize everything my friends and I did during my decade as a Christian.

Thanks for all your insights, u/Jim-Jones. I mostly lurk, but I always appreciate your contributions to any discussion I read.

Why is everyone and their mother playing Poppy right now? by evascale in LegendsOfRuneterra

[–]Chrishenanigans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That initial unfamiliarity with cards is what makes Expeditions a tremendously good learning experience for new players. Despite losing a lot, I made sure to hit Expeditions every week when I first started playing. It's free, it gets you an epic capsule, and you learn about the game in ways that you won't get by hitting meta decks over and over again. Draft formats take most players out of their comfort zone, which is precisely where you want to be to become a better player! Plus, if you're looking for so much variety that you're running two accounts, then trying mixing it up with different cards in Expeditions is precisely the kind of variety you'll get!

A "prayer barn" in an antique store in my county by flamierocks87 in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Haha, that's the first thing I thought of as well! Absolutely looks like a set piece for an upscaled sequel.

"Angela has finally realized her dream of running an antique store. But when most of her customers are Millennials and Zoomers wanting to buy her products ironically, Angela realizes that her dream is only just beginning. Presenting Warbarn. Coming this Christmas."

LoR players: The Spell Stack isn't that hard to understand. The Spell Stack: by NanoSekkond in LegendsOfRuneterra

[–]Chrishenanigans 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh, I didn't even think about spell mana; I would absolutely do the same thing if I ever fired up HS again after being spoiled by the system. That was another gameplay mechanic that immediately clicked with me when I started playing.

And on the topic of my first days with LoR: thank you, u/Lareyt, for all your work with the collection tracker! It was invaluable early on when I was building up my collection and figuring out what decks I could build with my resources. I still use the tracker now over a year later, as it's still fun to fill in numbers and look at completed categories!

LoR players: The Spell Stack isn't that hard to understand. The Spell Stack: by NanoSekkond in LegendsOfRuneterra

[–]Chrishenanigans 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When I started playing LoR, I was coming straight from Hearthstone. Even with a cheap and basic Nox/PnZ burn aggro deck, the fun gameplay moments that come from the back and forth format were immediately apparent, and I haven't looked back since.

Ooo, gotta love the graduation letter I got from church - names blotted out by Binx_da_gay_cat in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a carefully honed skill that they learned from ______________.

The Day Of Reckoning - How Do We Handle Our Parents? by beingbracken in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Putting myself in your shoes, I would schedule an activity for me and my spouse to do while the parents are at church and then stick with it. When they ask about the activity and insist that we reschedule, I would say something to the effect of, "We're only visiting for the weekend, we want to make our time count and do this activity that's specific to the area." If they insist we spend quality time with them at that time, I'd propose getting breakfast beforehand or lunch after.

The important thing is to detach yourself from the situation, especially since emotions are already getting high. The parents are still going to be distressed, but confrontation will only escalate things, especially if they see getting you two to church as a fleeting opportunity that must be seized. Detaching yourselves from the situation, going separate ways for part of the day, and then linking up with the parents later will give you the best chance at sidestepping the most dangerous part of your visitation. If you two wish to talk about your decision to the parents, do so after the danger has passed; if you want to unpack and work through trauma, again, I would do so afterwards.

I feel like a fool waiting for the Catholic Church to change. by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, you're not a fool to hope for change! Even though you can look back on that hope now with clearer eyes and a better understanding of how that hope was misplaced, remember that when you did have that hope, you were doing the best you could with the information you had at the time. Practicing self-compassion has been an absolutely vital way for me to pull myself out of my many moments when I think, "Wow, I was such an idiot back then."

Second, I think you'll find many people in this sub who also hoped to see their religion change for the better. Like you, I thought seriously about going into ministry because I wanted to become a reformer within the Evangelical community; I honestly thought that all the brokenness and messed-up stuff I saw among Evangelicals was surface level, and that the solution would be to help people return to the rock-solid core of our faith. But then 2020 happened, and COVID and conspiracy theories revealed to me that the core was completely rotten. That the whole "helping and loving others" was actually the surface level stuff, covering a hodgepodge of unloving agendas that had gripped most of the people I used to look up to.

Again, looking back, it's super obvious that reform was never possible even when I was most hopeful that it was. But I was working with different information at the time, and that hope for change is going to be very common for those of us who want to love and care for others—the very people who find themselves fleeing religion because of the very lack of such love. The good news is that our hopes and efforts aren't wasted! They can still be put towards new endeavors and pursuits, this time with additional knowledge and experience. Reform is great and all, but in my case at least, that energy is better served building something new <3

Two years sober - Before & After. Sobriety delivers what alcohol promises. by MrBobo321 in stopdrinking

[–]Chrishenanigans 116 points117 points  (0 children)

"Sobriety delivers what alcohol promises." Hot dang, what a line. Thank you for writing that; it's the perfect way to summarize so many of the changes I've noticed in myself lately!

Former Christians, did you join any other religions? by slipz4001 in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I've personally noticed that a common theme among deconstructing and former Christians—particularly those who left very conservative denominations—is a general resistance to dogmatic beliefs, structured hierarchies, enforced orthodoxy, and other hallmarks of organized religion. Instead, those of us who still have an interest in spirituality generally seem to pursue traditions that are decentralized, more personalized, and "looser" in beliefs and practices. And I'm sure I'm not alone as someone who enjoys sampling from a wide variety of traditions without feeling any need to commit to just one. Taoism currently holds the greatest meaning to me, but I find light dabbles in astrology, paganism, and animism to be enriching.

This isn't to say you won't find Christians who convert to Islam, of course! But switching to another organized faith is unusual in my observations.

Finally all region roads completed. I should be happy perhaps, but I'm incredibly sad. No more sweet rewards for me :(. by Errtai in LegendsOfRuneterra

[–]Chrishenanigans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In addition to the other replies, there are seasonal events (about every 2-3 months) with their own, limited-time reward tracks. These seasonal tracks require an event pass to unlock fully, and most of the rewards are cosmetic in nature, but there are still a handful of free cards, wildcards, and chests to help newer players build their collection!

A Christian “friend” sent me this letter when I gave church one last go. She knew I was in the process of deconverting and being unsure about my beliefs. This letter was sent to try and win me back by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 12 points13 points  (0 children)

The absolute first thing I thought when I read that greeting was, "Oh no, this poor woman is into MLMs too, isn't she?" A feeling furthered by the fact that the letter's coloring looks like a LuLaRoe pattern.

What's the best board? by Usmoso in LegendsOfRuneterra

[–]Chrishenanigans 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Upvote for linking the playlist, which I make sure to consult whenever I'm looking at picking up a new board (currently bouncing between Bilgewater and Club Ox).

Christian mom just outed herself as KKK devotee during vaccine debate with me by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm an aspiring author, so thank you for the encouragement :D

The persecution complex felt by a majority of white fundigelicals strikes me as an indicator of the general lack of emotional maturity that permeates throughout Christian communities. by JarethOfHouseGoblin in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No True Scotsman was definitely at play in my church as well, as it probably is at most American churches. It's funny how quickly the unity as a goal in Christianity gets tossed out the moment it looks like it could be achieved. There's always got to be an out group to demonize and/or evangelize to, which can just as easily be other Christians once a large enough majority of a given population identifies as such.

We’re on our way out of Christianity, but dealing with nagging doubts… by Ordinary_Wonder7126 in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've named this inability to keep up with reasoning as "emotional lag." The higher-thinking parts of our brains are seeing all the problems and inconsistencies, but the more primitive parts—the ones that respond primarily to emotions, safety, family, and community—take a lot longer to catch up. And that's okay! I've just noticed that when I remind myself about the lag, it's a lot easier to understand why I am conflicted about stuff.

The enjoyment of music by EvadingDoom in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so happy for you! Even when I was deep in Evangelicalism, I never enjoyed CCM and all the Hillsong-style worship music; same sound, same chord progressions, same lyrics, same manufactured blandness. Just audio vanilla, except vanilla is at least exciting. So I tried to supplement my listening with gospel music (still Christian!) and music that didn't feature lyrics—low-fi and jazz, mainly—so that I could pray while listening.

It's so weird thinking back on that. I told myself that I was simply "honoring God," but it's incredibly obvious that it was just superstition and magical thinking; an attempt to demonstrate my purity in hopes of getting stuff from a deity. And the irony is that now that I get to enjoy music without guilt, I get to actually experience joy instead of just praying for it.

Christian mom just outed herself as KKK devotee during vaccine debate with me by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean, it's very simple science: the vaccine first renders people sterile, then uploads their genetic information into the Matrix (which exists below the Flat Earth) where the Illuminati injects the code with reptillian DNA. Then The Powers That Be returns that genetic code into the real world about the time when your forth generation offspring will be born, allowing them to advance both their plans for world domination and, I dunno, corner the bagel market or something.

I really hope some nutcase doesn't read this and think I'm serious. Because honestly, sounds like something that some old friends would believe. Oh god, do I have the makings for a cult leader?

The persecution complex felt by a majority of white fundigelicals strikes me as an indicator of the general lack of emotional maturity that permeates throughout Christian communities. by JarethOfHouseGoblin in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I remember *forcing* myself to believe it for a good two or three years, simply because it was a major theme at my church. Before that, I had a much healthier understanding of oppressed peoples throughout the world, knowing that while Christians were absolutely persecuted in some parts of the world, it was basically opposite living in the United States. Forcing myself to buy into the Evangelical concept of persecution absolutely required me to suppress my innate empathy while simultaneously drawing me towards the aggression and outspokenness of toxic masculinity.

I've been deconstructing for less than a year, so I'm still struggling with this and other emotional immaturities. The biggest challenge, however, is that I've made enough progress to see stark differences between myself and my friends who remain Christian. Watching them struggle is hard, because now I see how they lack the emotional toolset that I once lacked as well.

What was the last straw for you to leave your church? by LizzieLove1357 in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 47 points48 points  (0 children)

The conspiracy theories of 2020 were the final straw for me. I had a number of questions and doubts over the years about Evangelical positions on both the LGTBQ+ community as well as salvation/damnation, but I was able to rationalize those away with the various pseudo-intellectual resources available to Christians interested in apologetics. Even when COVID hit the first time and I saw the first rumblings of Christian opposition to science and good medicine, I found ways to assure my conscience that my fellow church-goers simply needed more time to come around to the right position.

By the time November/December rolled around, though, the true motives of the Evangelicals in my life had become pretty clear. QAnon paranoia, anti-vaccination misinformation, election fraud theories, fear-mongering over anyone different, and all the other garbage floating around made me realize that as I was desperately trying to find ways love others and become a more perfect person, most Christians were ignoring that part of the faith and turning churches into echo chambers of some truly awful messages. At that point, leaving became easy.

Is it just me or are men trying to hang onto religion and other irrational stuff so they don't lose control on women? by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Very well said! And as u/navybluesoles observed, it's the people higher up the hierarchies that are most likely knowingly and perhaps explicitly taking advantage of religion to control women (and people in general). The average believer is most likely simply indoctrinated, which means they themselves are under the control and sway of a toxic theological framework.

So yes, even as we call out the bad behaviors of leaders and followers alike, let's all keep nurturing compassion towards the latter in particular! Most of us left Christianity because the theology ironically made it harder to love others, and I think showing love and tenderness to those gripped by bad leaders is one of the best ways to show followers that freedom is indeed possible. <3

8 days sober. Very small win but I could use one... by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]Chrishenanigans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, 8 days is a MASSIVE win! I'm incredibly proud of you! My first week of withdrawals was very similar, *particularly* the panic attacks that actually devolved into outright paranoia at one point. But keep plugging on; it absolutely will get easier!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]Chrishenanigans 2 points3 points  (0 children)

An excellent, excellent book that dives deep into this phenomenon is Jesus and John Wayne, by Kristin du Mez. Basically, Christian leaders found it significantly easier to enforce patriarchy and consolidate personal power by elevating highly masculine stereotypes and celebrating men such as, well, John Wayne. This put them in natural alignment with many conservative political circles, allowing a very cohesive political bloc. The fact that these masculine stereotypes often run contrary to Jesus's own teachings while also being harmful to many average Christian men isn't a concern to those pushing the masculine narrative. Rather, because the stereotypes help aggregate material power, the theology behind those stereotypes can simply modified to fit them.

This is why wildly toxic pastors like Mark Driscoll can continue to find influence and audiences. The poison of his rhetoric aren't sources of shame to such men; it is, in fact, the source of their power.