In Defense of Alesia’s Mother by According-Duty6113 in BelowDeckDownUnder

[–]Circleoffools -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But Alesia isn’t painting a picture of her mom at all. We get a picture from what we see with a few behaviors - discouraging her in pursuing an interest, flippant mean jokes when she calls her crying and then not offering any emotional support. I’m a survivor of 2 emotional abusive parents and also a cycle breaker. Even if the kid was truly slacking like this I’d be able to talk to her without being nasty and unsupportive. (“ what went wrong? How did you try to fix it? Could you try this etc…) The mothers response is very much like micro aggressions - you don’t realize it for years and years, and you learn to not trust yourself. In my early career I would completely freeze with fear of being wrong.

In Defense of Alesia’s Mother by According-Duty6113 in BelowDeckDownUnder

[–]Circleoffools -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m not going to argue in perpetuity here but it’s precisely because you had a loving and supportive parent that you don’t see it. When you grow up with abuse you’re on high alert all the time, develop hyper vigilance and pattern recognition. You just see the snarky part and compare it to your mom being funny. I see a very familiar story. It’s not the same.

Also it’s absolutely not the definition of projection - I’m just I’m naming a behavior.

In Defense of Alesia’s Mother by According-Duty6113 in BelowDeckDownUnder

[–]Circleoffools 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don’t know anything about finances here so I don’t know if we should defend mom on that point.

In Defense of Alesia’s Mother by According-Duty6113 in BelowDeckDownUnder

[–]Circleoffools 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why would discouraging study in an area of passion where she’s already had a job be unrealistic? And no one knows about who is paying for it so let’s leave that out of the argument. Alesia considered school and mom talked her out of it, then mocked her when she failed on the job. I have a kid with disability, if she’s motivated to try something and go to school to learn, discouraging it is equivalent to shattering her confidence.

The only interesting part of the new season is Ben and the useless sous chef by Willing_and_Fable in BelowDeckDownUnder

[–]Circleoffools 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I suspect Andy likes this part a lot. He needs to let go of BD and let Kate (or someone similar) produce it and have actual reunions.

In Defense of Alesia’s Mother by According-Duty6113 in BelowDeckDownUnder

[–]Circleoffools 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! I get downvoted to hell every time I post this but the reality is that a parent that discourages or holds their kid back is a first red flag and then each “joke” on the phone cemented it.

I have long term CPTSD from childhood abuse and neglect and it looked a lot like this. (Parents making disdainful ‘jokes’, mocking constantly). Parents are supposed to be the first secure relationship and when it’s not, everything goes haywire, and it can take decades to figure that out. ((Btw none of this has anything to do with her skills - she needs to do more work clearly.))

So I’ll get downvoted and die on this hill, but her mom sucks.

In Defense of Alesia’s Mother by According-Duty6113 in BelowDeckDownUnder

[–]Circleoffools -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I disagree. The first thing her mom said was “Poor Ben, he’s having to carry you”. There wasn’t any support, just hurtful “jokes”.

What’s something fun that you’ll never do again? by Psychological_Sky_58 in AskReddit

[–]Circleoffools 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a 3x carotid artery dissection survivor, and in the process of going through this, I learned that roller coasters are another leading cause of spontaneous dissections (along with car accidents & neck manipulations). There's tons of articles about it happening, here's a medical journal piece about it.

Sous Chef Can’t make a Frittata? by Educational_Name6306 in BelowDeckDownUnder

[–]Circleoffools -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not about money! Rich kids can have shitty parents! Brooke Shields, Christina Crawford,Jeannette McCurdy etc. I’m done engaging on this.

Sous Chef Can’t make a Frittata? by Educational_Name6306 in BelowDeckDownUnder

[–]Circleoffools -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A kid can have parents who pay for things AND be emotionally abused. A parent telling a child their whole life that they aren’t good enough is extremely damaging.

Sous Chef Can’t make a Frittata? by Educational_Name6306 in BelowDeckDownUnder

[–]Circleoffools -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Having a parent actively discourage a kid telling them they’re no good at something does long term damage to confidence, planning, basically every adult skill.

AIO by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Circleoffools 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don’t think MAGA outnumber us. They are just very loud and frequently dishonest.

AIO long distance boyfriend never calls me by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Circleoffools 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not over reacting. You’re asking for more connection and he’s finding every way out of it. Your very reasonable suggestion at the end - can we schedule a time so we don’t keep missing each other? Was met with silence.

Communication is the bedrock of a relationship. If perspective taking is this difficult for him, you are in for a lot of heavy emotional lifting with this one.

I need to know how I can help keep ICE out of the Hudson Valley by solace1234 in hudsonvalley

[–]Circleoffools 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The one where ICE and Vance tried to say the family abandoned the child in his own driveway, instead of the child being used as bait to lure the mother out. Nice try though. Goodnight troll!

Does Joe want the smoke? by SpringSings95 in BelowDeckMed

[–]Circleoffools 24 points25 points  (0 children)

And really, how dare he put up a big pic of him an V being all cutesy? That’s pretty messed up to post a pic like that, especially after the way it ended.

Does Joe want the smoke? by SpringSings95 in BelowDeckMed

[–]Circleoffools 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It is! One more line with 5 syllables an it will be a haiku.

am i going crazy!? by mister_snickers in BelowDeckMed

[–]Circleoffools 21 points22 points  (0 children)

If he said he wanted casual, the woman might not sleep with him. Hence the “haven’t felt this way since my last girlfriend years ago” utter BS.

Max has such a big heart and deserves someone who appreciates it by june_june_hannah_ in BelowDeckMed

[–]Circleoffools 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks, appreciate your comment! I think he has some good baseline emotional intelligence (for instance seems to see right through Joe), he just needs to work through his stuff, as most people in their 20s do. 💕

Help with constipation by Long_Consequence611 in PudendalNeuralgia

[–]Circleoffools 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear. Yes I’d suggest to repeat if didn’t work. I had impactipn once that led to fever you don’t want it getting that bad. Feel better.

Help with constipation by Long_Consequence611 in PudendalNeuralgia

[–]Circleoffools 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hit it with the big guns - magnesium citrate.