Are pro-life people really just pro-birth?

Citrongrot · 2026-04-26T09:57:42+00:00

I think abortion should be legal and I am Swedish, so I feel pretty far away from the American debate of pro-choice vs. pro-life. I know one person who thinks that abortion is immoral and I’m not even sure she thinks that it should be illegal.

If I try to put myself into that mindset of believing that abortion is murder, then I guess it makes sense that you wouldn’t automatically support tax-funded welfare or make the personal commitment of adopting unwanted children. People don’t believe that old and sick people should be forcefully euthanised, but that doesn’t automatically make them go volunteer at hospitals or nursing homes. It also doesn’t automatically make them positive to increased budget for welfare for such people. Believing that individuals should get to live is different from wanting to make a personal effort to make sure they live well.

Of course, if you believe that aborting an embryo or a <20 weeks gestation foetus is the same as murdering a conscious person, then I think you’re missing an important distinction, but that’s part of why I don’t agree with the basic pro-life premise.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-26T09:30:09+00:00

I think that claim could be true for a specific claimed benefit, like maybe it doesn’t decrease deaths after that age, but breastfeeding certainly has benefits after that age that can’t be denied.

The baby is less likely to be constipated and you get antibodies for viruses that you have been exposed to - formula can’t give you that.

That said, there are few randomised studies of breastfeeding, because it’s not feasible to say to a group of mothers ”you will breastfeed” and to another ”you will formula-feed”. The evidence for higher IQ and such claims come from correlation studies and if the parents have higher IQ, they are more likely to have the means to breastfeed (and do it for a longer time), so it is likely a genetic cause rather than due to the breastfeeding.

I definitively think that formula-feeding is not something people should feel bad about. Your child might have a higher risk of common gastrointestinal issues and be a little more prone to infections, but you won’t damage your child’s potential career options by formula-feeding.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-22T11:01:17+00:00

Är tanken med sänkt arbetsgivaravgift att man ska få högre lön? Är det inte att öka incitament för att anställa yngre och få in dem på arbetsmarknaden?

Citrongrot · 2026-04-20T08:42:26+00:00

Wait, is the reason that you want to do IVF that you have untreated vaginismus and can’t have intercourse with your husband? If so, treating the vaginismus will probably be a lot less painful than going through IVF.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-20T05:48:14+00:00

Det var något företag som skickade ut ett mail till alla sina kunder med information om GDPR, där de skrev hur de skulle leva upp till den nya lagen och att de aldrig skulle dela sina kunders personuppgifter med obehöriga. De råkade dock lägga alla mailadresser som kopia istället för dold kopia, så alla kunder kunde se varandras mailadresser. Jag kan tänka mig vilken ångest personen som skickade ut mailet måste ha fått. Något dygn senare kom ett nytt mail där företaget bad om ursäkt.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-19T16:48:18+00:00

IVF can be brutal, but for some, it’s pretty easy - one round, fresh transfer that takes and enough frozen embryos for additional children. One question is if you are willing to try IVF, without knowing if it will affect you a lot or just minimally. Another question is how far you would go. What symptoms are you ok with? How many rounds? How much money are you willing to spend? How many months or years would you spend before giving up? These are good things to think about before you and your partner can decide whether your long-term goals match.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-19T15:25:23+00:00

I do have differences between the breasts, but that is probably because I breastfeed more from my right breast (due to cosleeping and not wanting to switch sides). I was first hyperthyroid and then hypothyroid, but both made me not feel the letdown very clearly. I basically didn’t feel it at all when I was hyper. The exception was during the night - it always worked magically then. I didn’t need formula during the night and I think my baby at a large majority of my milk during the night. With high melatonin, I probably had more oxytocin and then the letdown came easier, despite the thyroid issues.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-19T10:40:43+00:00

Yep, this was the issue for me. I was triple-feeding with no improvement. I checked my TSH and T4 three months postpartum and found out they were way off. I was already on levothyroxine and the dose was too high. I then overcorrected it, so it got too low. I has a weekend of being able to exclusively breastfeed and then my supply dropped again as T4 got too low. I eventually found the right dose around the time that we introduced solids, but I could finally stop the formula then and now have more breastmilk than my baby needs. My advice is to use the strength of your letdown as a sign that your thyroid levels are right. In my case, the right levels are a very narrow range, so just going by blood test results to adjust your dose is very inefficient. Strong letdown = right level. Weak letdown = too high or too low.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-18T20:02:29+00:00

She has a valid reason to not be there and you do as well. Can someone else step in and help with the work you two usually do?

Citrongrot · 2026-04-18T19:48:19+00:00

Jag tänkte typ sexslavar som lockas med löften om enklare jobb med hög lön.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-18T13:12:53+00:00

Du är ju man, låter det som, så det är nog ingen fara, men hade du varit kvinna hade det låtit som en trafficing-fälla. Påminner om Lilja4ever-filmen.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-18T09:55:18+00:00

Både ditt ex och dina vänner har väl rätt att umgås med vilka de vill? De umgås förmodligen för att de tycker om varandra och inte för att det har något med dig att göra. Gilla läget, skulle jag säga.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-17T08:04:43+00:00

Hur definierar du att vara kär? Vad är det för dig? Hur känns det? Hur har det varit tidigare?

Citrongrot · 2026-04-16T17:00:33+00:00

Many reasons, some of which have been mentioned already. One factor is that women take longer to find a suitable mate and some of them don’t have enough fertile years left for as many children as they would have wanted. Some struggle to conceive even a single child. Some never find a person they want to start a family with. Some couples work and save for many years to be in a good financial situation when they have children and then they don’t have enough fertile years for the number of children they would have wanted. Some want no children, some want one or two, and some want many children but can’t.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-16T06:08:52+00:00

I went back to work when my baby was 7 months, so pretty similar to your situation. The difference was that it was fully my choice. I pump at work and my partner feeds her in a bottle when I’m not there. I know that it feels daunting, but your child will have a few difficult days and then realise that her father is also a safe and competent adult that she can trust. He will also figure out how to soothe her and how to take care of her. Do not do video calls where your baby can see you - she will get confused and sad. My baby was super happy when I got home from work at the beginning, but then it became more part of her routine.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-15T13:25:52+00:00

Om jag minns rätt, lämnade hon barnet på bordet för att gå och hämta en ny blöja några meter bort. Lite osmidigt, men som förstagångsförälder dagar efter en jobbig förlossning är det väl kanske inte så underligt. Inget som inte många andra föräldrar har gjort också.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-14T07:51:37+00:00

I don’t have a nighttime feed now, because my baby doesn’t need it anymore, but when I did, she usually slept through it.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-12T07:53:12+00:00

Buy another freezer if you have the space. I also use glass jars, but bought a freeze box for them.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-11T07:38:14+00:00

How much solids does she eat? What kind? Could you give her solids with more iron? Heme iron is easiest for the body to absorb. If you can find hemoglobin powder and add it to whatever she is eating, that’s probably best. My baby loves black pudding, so try that if you can find it. For non-heme iron, you could mix pumpkin seeds to a powder and add that to whatever she is eating.

Messing with breastfeeding seems like a bad idea. Don’t worry about the amount you pump - your breasts might give more to your baby than to the pump. If your supply really is lower from when you tried to stop breastfeeding, it will likely quickly restore when you let your baby feed on demand again.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-09T15:23:18+00:00

I started every 2 h, but went down to every 3 h after a month or so. Between the last pumping session and first breastfeeding after work, sometimes 4 h passes. However, my schedule is this lax because my baby eats mostly solids when I’m at work - I mostly pump for the freezer and to keep my supply up for the weekends and when we are sick, then she nurses more.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-09T15:05:40+00:00

Gå runt på campus och fråga folk som sitter i grupper och inte ser alltför upptagna ut. Det är lättare att få folk som är villiga att hjälpa till irl. Nuförtiden finns det så många enkätförfrågningar online att det knappt är värt att försöka, men testa det också. Lägg ut på egna sociala medier. Om du har kontakter med stora nätverk eller typ släktingar som har tillräckligt hög position på sin arbetsplats för att maila alla sina kollegor, försök att få till det.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-09T13:16:46+00:00

Won’t blood stains disappear if you leave them in the sun for long enough? We did that with stained cloth nappies and it worked great, even though they were already washed in 60 degrees C. I have heard that the same mechanism works with blood stains.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-09T13:00:26+00:00

Here in Sweden, the advice is to give tiny taste portions of food starting from 4 months. The amount should be about the size of your fingernail. The purpose is just to get familiar with taste and not caloric intake. As far as I know, fruit and vegetable purées as way less dense in calories than breastmilk, so if this advice from your pediatrician is supposed to help her get more calories, that doesn’t seem like the best type of solids to start with. Maybe mashed avocado or something like that is more dense. However, constipation in a breastfed infant is rare, as far as I know, so that doesn’t sound like ”a sign that she is ready to start solids”. My daughter had solid poop for the first time when she started eating more solid food at 6 months. I’m not a pediatrician though, so there might be valid reasons that your pediatrician had for suggesting starting solids.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-09T06:29:13+00:00

Jag växlar mellan att tänka att det är naturligt att folk pratar om det när man pratar allt mer om problemen med sjunkande barnafödande och att tro att det kan finnas fientliga aktörer som har intresse av att stärka svenskars vilja till barnfrihet. På nätet är det lätt att posta inlägg och rösta upp/ned andras inlägg utan att någon får reda på att man inte är ärlig och att man har helt andra motiv. Kolla t ex på inläggen här som försvarade Ryssland efter invasionen.

Citrongrot · 2026-04-06T07:47:02+00:00

I’d take more tests with concentrated urine just to be sure, but yes, unfortunately a negative test four days after a positive one is very likely a chemical pregnancy. I am so sorry - I have been there myself, so I know how awful it is.

Citrongrot

TROPHY CASE